tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-152213472024-03-12T19:48:06.399-07:00CultivatingThis is the laughter, the tears, the chaos all thrown into what I love and call life as I make a home. It's more importantly the desire to be uprooted, improved and prepared for a land which is Home.Joanna Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02568835279054666132noreply@blogger.comBlogger707125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15221347.post-68595946677985221562014-08-07T07:00:00.000-07:002014-08-07T07:00:02.462-07:00under construction<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOY-5OKOUztJqchqm6zP6EejOAJu8UkY578fp16h200Za73cMQowqXM1D1tKZ-VV7enjXJNfoWxxTtqdGUeMUZJFA4WchZc6BOjndfI7Nku71yKEN5as-KEOm_zCheMiZ29vaztg/s1600/IMG_4469.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOY-5OKOUztJqchqm6zP6EejOAJu8UkY578fp16h200Za73cMQowqXM1D1tKZ-VV7enjXJNfoWxxTtqdGUeMUZJFA4WchZc6BOjndfI7Nku71yKEN5as-KEOm_zCheMiZ29vaztg/s1600/IMG_4469.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
After nine years (with a couple breaks here and there in the midst of childbearing/raising) of this beautiful blog being my home I've decided to move to a new location... I hope you'll stay with me as I dig in deeper to all the wonderful things I am passionate about. Connecting with people, creating beauty in this world (through diys, cooking, and learning new things) and yes, even coffee! What can I say? I'm passionate about coffee!<br />
<br />
I'll be debuting on my nine year anniversary!Joanna Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02568835279054666132noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15221347.post-52661257964121147822014-08-05T11:22:00.005-07:002014-08-05T11:22:55.571-07:00chalkboards make me happy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
I am horribly obsessed with chalkboard paint. I would like to paint everything in my home with chalkboard and then write myself funny little sayings, inspirational quotes, to-do lists, recipes, so on and so forth.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
So it's not crazy that I would show you a simple way that I am incorporating different types of chalkboards into my life. :)</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoE_EpHkRFKMOjjbE645ahMXTjy6DfBTo0bktn90WIg1qOYqT3GdXdFVXS3NxTzaFwspCIwVC_nTd3fC91Gn2o06zRiaDWjya8nRkj7LyjKWXBbzrNkeSgpukoWm0X0AlG4SNKKQ/s1600/IMG_2674.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoE_EpHkRFKMOjjbE645ahMXTjy6DfBTo0bktn90WIg1qOYqT3GdXdFVXS3NxTzaFwspCIwVC_nTd3fC91Gn2o06zRiaDWjya8nRkj7LyjKWXBbzrNkeSgpukoWm0X0AlG4SNKKQ/s1600/IMG_2674.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I took a frame (complete with backing and glass not shown here) from a thrift store. I believe it was $5 or so. I took off the backing and took out the glass. The glass I tossed in the trash but you could save it for other DIY projects.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I did not.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I have a problem with saving DIY projects for rainy days that never get finished during rainy days. So bye bye glass! I need to focus on one task at a time (even though I have about forty projects half finished in the garage... gulp!).</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Anyway, I <b>painted the backing with chalkboard paint. </b>It was super easy and quick. Took me about an hour to do and that's only cause I followed the directions to wait between coats. </div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPE8uAA9wrBJRukkTyoPSJ9Degh17OGlkXVsg3WIApXFlPL5xJpsTFY2RAgY7v6zrXVtHtTxQoHyNDEfjc05Cu18w6dNiXh3yLjkTXII2uN_Wp1zicfCLYJhTRY6FzGQiExncEbQ/s1600/IMG_2675.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPE8uAA9wrBJRukkTyoPSJ9Degh17OGlkXVsg3WIApXFlPL5xJpsTFY2RAgY7v6zrXVtHtTxQoHyNDEfjc05Cu18w6dNiXh3yLjkTXII2uN_Wp1zicfCLYJhTRY6FzGQiExncEbQ/s1600/IMG_2675.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Another thing I love as much as chalkboards is yarn. Yarn makes my little diy world go round. Yay for yarns endless possibilities.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi51o-iVNwpekbsWLERenoqyjvAy_wSlF-ZkezWRDod9m0QrIOjZXbrungLNtQul9bPFLlUTTJV1EhrXUrvn37vT_hgnZ0NQRGYI-dZFExCEO4KM-WUjaXIAv_3m_BIKNCZTJ7wkw/s1600/IMG_2676.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi51o-iVNwpekbsWLERenoqyjvAy_wSlF-ZkezWRDod9m0QrIOjZXbrungLNtQul9bPFLlUTTJV1EhrXUrvn37vT_hgnZ0NQRGYI-dZFExCEO4KM-WUjaXIAv_3m_BIKNCZTJ7wkw/s1600/IMG_2676.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Using my yarn and a glue gun I started to wrap the crap out of my frame. I like my yarn sporadically wrapped and bunched in certain places... so this is not a perfectionists wrap job.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLb0oGCJelU0M8qeKOOC2rl8eibw7zEjorfFpIZgZ5rnmyrtMUkO6Zd0OKKjU2Bx5fF_8kNkf8SQ04NRzK9BKBpqRQ8RfjxfwCdfEMh2RJR-BBKndyo3hMqLgOnxLpW9sp25jjCA/s1600/IMG_2677.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLb0oGCJelU0M8qeKOOC2rl8eibw7zEjorfFpIZgZ5rnmyrtMUkO6Zd0OKKjU2Bx5fF_8kNkf8SQ04NRzK9BKBpqRQ8RfjxfwCdfEMh2RJR-BBKndyo3hMqLgOnxLpW9sp25jjCA/s1600/IMG_2677.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
I also, just glued in areas where I felt needed glueing. There was no rhyme or reason to my wrapping and glueing.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
After it was wrapped the background/cardboard-turned-chalkboard wouldn't fit in the frame because of the yarn. So I hot glued the backing onto the frame/yarn. It was perfect.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgANefO10LT-nWi1_Rzy2zOQiApRrEkAATktuu9BMoKIpQROVVBjuhyphenhyphen4DXwSQe1JAH_mSnE9l5CC-7Xkq4RPX5LdD139nPAduA3VV-ugsOnmz19thTr7cwcz-moD5MfQEVQZAFm2g/s1600/IMG_2705.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgANefO10LT-nWi1_Rzy2zOQiApRrEkAATktuu9BMoKIpQROVVBjuhyphenhyphen4DXwSQe1JAH_mSnE9l5CC-7Xkq4RPX5LdD139nPAduA3VV-ugsOnmz19thTr7cwcz-moD5MfQEVQZAFm2g/s1600/IMG_2705.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What do you think?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Pretty cute huh?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY3IYQBIjTZ6DUnwYBwNwMGrvo_BLv5XgBz5Hw-E32MIfhl3-3VlmRhiy-03vzUlmoTpLLjdW06OE1rmax560iDAhefpvRXUwRhzU0YR6jGr-Bk9g_xqA2Vwx5uhdnkes-sMBQYg/s1600/IMG_2706.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY3IYQBIjTZ6DUnwYBwNwMGrvo_BLv5XgBz5Hw-E32MIfhl3-3VlmRhiy-03vzUlmoTpLLjdW06OE1rmax560iDAhefpvRXUwRhzU0YR6jGr-Bk9g_xqA2Vwx5uhdnkes-sMBQYg/s1600/IMG_2706.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
I might add flowers or different colored pieces during the different seasons. Plus, at some point when I am inspired I will change my generic greeting... I figured "don't even think of ringing my doorbell and waking my baby or I will murder you" wouldn't be as welcoming as "welcome friends". And since I'm exhausted generic will have to do for now.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
ha!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
What about you? Are you jumping on the chalkboard craze train? What have you created today?</div>
Joanna Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02568835279054666132noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15221347.post-22936862555039667062014-07-31T07:00:00.000-07:002014-07-31T07:00:03.415-07:00Numbers nine, nineteen, and twenty-nine<a href="http://joannakay.blogspot.com/2014/07/a-beginning.html" target="_blank">Continuing my journey of thankfulness this week...</a><br />
<br />
09: garden bounty (this week we feasted on carrots, lettuce and beets... coming soon tomatoes, more carrots, more beets, and onions)<br />
19: living in a place where people gather (we've been lucky to have friends in and out our door as they travel to Colorado for other reasons! We love having guests!)<br />
29: window seat for reading, people watching, weather watching and praying.<br />
<br />
<br />Joanna Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02568835279054666132noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15221347.post-15363312540740716642014-07-30T13:39:00.000-07:002014-07-30T13:50:01.716-07:00small steps<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I recently finished a book that has stayed with me. Has that ever happened to you? I can count on my two hands the combined total of talks and books that have so deeply stayed with me and in quiet moments of my day (the rare occasion of those begs for my brain to start running wild! Oh my! It's my turn to listen to my thoughts... how exciting!) I find myself thinking on the talks I heard and books I've read. There aren't many that come to mind during those quiet moments (when I've locked myself in the bathroom).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">The book (to get back to point) is called <a href="http://www.jennieallen.com/books/restless/" target="_blank">Restless</a>. It's a book about finding purpose and significance right where you are in life. It. Is. Fantastic. I'll admit, when I saw the book and had it in my hands I was a little skeptical. Sorry <a href="http://www.jennieallen.com/" target="_blank">Jennie Allen</a> but it's true. I wondered if she would give me the five steps to finding purpose or seven habits significant people have. Worse, I was worried that I would feel my heart stirred by this book but be super overwhelmed with life. I wondered if this was a terrible time to start reading a book about finding your purpose when I was 8 1/2 months pregnant with two wild and crazy toddlers running around the house with chocolate on their hands and underwear on their heads (it's happened. They call themselves "superman"... I have nooooo idea).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">But I started it, took my time with my bestie Kelli and finished it post-Love Bug's arrival.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">And. It. Was. Life. Changing.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Don't get me wrong, there is nothing different about my life... I still have said crazy toddlers that usually do have something sticky and staining on their hands while having underwear/t-shirts/pants/socks/whateverelsetheycanfind on their bodies where "normal" people don't usually place them. I am knee high in toys as I write this (didn't we just clean this room?) and I smell a little bit like old milk and dirty diapers (I swear I've showered). So nothing on the outside of my life, the life you can see when you look at me, has changed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">But inside my heart, something has awoken and been stirred. A small kindled flame perhaps but it's there.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">As a dreamer I am ready to pounce on whatever God wants me to do. I am ready to board a plane, serve in a village where I am fed bugs and learn from people whose lives are so completely opposite of mine. I am ready to get my hands in dirty. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">But God has been good to show me that there may come a time for that. But for today I must be faithful in what I've been given while still keeping my head up and eyes open for opportunities around me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Small steps. Not giant leaps but small, minuscule even, steps towards the Greater and the Bigger in life. You don't have to cross an ocean to see there are needs around you. I forget that sometimes.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">My small steps have included researching new ways to get involved with the world from my home. Learning about <a href="http://www.noondaycollection.com/" target="_blank">Noonday Collection</a> a company that <span style="background-color: white;">uses fashion and design to create economic opportunity for the vulnerable. Imagine making purchases you already make and knowing you're making a difference.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span>
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">Small steps that led me to <a href="http://www.ijm.org/" target="_blank">International Justice Mission</a> where I can learn more about the world's condition and how to pray and get involved from my chair where I nurse my sweet baby. It's crazy exciting to think small steps can lead my heart around my community, around my state, around my nation and even the world where I can make a difference.</span><br /><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">Small steps that have encouraged me to<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Locust-Effect-Poverty-Requires-Violence/dp/0199937877/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1406751646&sr=1-1&keywords=the+locust+effect" target="_blank"> read more books </a>about real people living in real situations that are different and scarier than my situation. Yes, I know I am proving my naivety but pray for me. I am learning.</span><br /><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">Small steps that have led me to a new study on <a href="http://shereadstruth.com/category/plans/justice/" target="_blank">Justice by She Reads Truth</a>. Today's reading by IJM founder and president Gary A. Haugen said, <b>"And even when the darkness seems pitch black, there are ways that the smallest light can begin to change everything."</b></span><br /><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">I wanna be that small light. Even the smallest light can still shine into darkness...</span><br /><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">And I am reminded that small steps are better than no steps. Small steps may be slow and invisible to those around me but to me and to those in my "every day" the small steps are everything.</span><br /><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">I'm curious... have you read any books that have stayed with you? Or made any small steps recently? </span><br /><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">Whatever steps you are making, know that being faithful to those small steps could change the world someday!</span><br /><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">**My humble descriptions of the books, study and organizations above are in no way a complete portrayal of any of them. I included links and can provide as much information on any of them if you're curious. I encourage you to explore deeper into any and all of the described above.**</span></span>Joanna Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02568835279054666132noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15221347.post-89761010791518540832014-07-24T09:07:00.000-07:002014-07-24T09:07:19.509-07:00a beginningSome time ago, I read a book by Ann Voskamp (wrote about it <a href="http://joannakay.blogspot.com/2011/03/march-2011.html" target="_blank">here</a>, <a href="http://joannakay.blogspot.com/2011/05/blessed.html" target="_blank">here</a> and <a href="http://joannakay.blogspot.com/2011/12/heart-of-it.html" target="_blank">here</a>) and it changed my life. Changed me so much I got a tattoo to forever remember the heart behind the book.<br />
<br />
In a very small nutshell, Voskamp's book is about finding joy in the everyday life (the mundane, if I may call it that) by giving thanks for things in the (mundane) every day. Seeing piles of laundry as a gift and reminder of loved ones having enough to wear, for example.* I started counting my thousand gifts but somehow in the midst of babies, life, moving, babies becoming toddlers becoming big girls and another baby I have lost count of my gifts. <br />
<br />
So I am beginning anew with fresh eyes to find joy among newborn life and still feeling a bit new in my community... life moments that can lead to self-pity or loneliness, I am choosing to find joy in the midst of my (mundane) life. Wanna join me? Leave a comment with the things you are thankful for today... I guarantee your life will be changed.<br />
<br />
01: new curtains billowing in the baby's room<br />
02: voxer and the technology to keep in touch with long distance besties<br />
03: korean leftovers from an amazing cook and friend<br />
04: thick rain showers that kept my garden going when I wasn't able to<br />
05: sweet cries from the nursery that remind me of how precious life is<br />
<br />
*<a href="http://www.aholyexperience.com/one-thousand-gifts-book/" target="_blank">Find Ann's book here...</a><br />
<a href="http://www.aholyexperience.com/joy-dares/" target="_blank">**Join the challenge here...</a>Joanna Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02568835279054666132noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15221347.post-43366224289411906832014-07-22T07:00:00.000-07:002014-07-22T07:00:05.981-07:00raining on Taylor Swift's paradeIn Taylor Swift's song, "Love Story" she talks about two people getting married and sings, "you'll never have to be alone". News flash! Marriage does not cure you of loneliness!<br />
<br />
People, loneliness will always be a part of life!<br />
<br />
I'm sorry to rain on your parade but getting married, moving in with someone, and possibly physically duct taping yourself to someone is not going to cure your loneliness. Believe me, I have considered duct taping myself to Hubs because as a double whammy "quality time" and "physical touch" person that seems to be one of the best solutions to keeping my love tank filled. Lordy, just thinking about that makes me laugh out loud. Hubs would die in two days. He would be so overstimulated. Like a plant that has been overwatered my Hubs would shrivel and die.<br />
<br />
Loneliness is part of why I am restarting my blog. Not my own personal loneliness but because I read my friend's facebook status the other day and she was lamenting how lonely motherhood can be. Agreed.<br />
<br />
But I was lonely before I was a mother. I was surrounded by people all the time and I still felt lonely! So why are we as human beings so lonely? If we have friends, family and people around us why are we still aching in our hearts for someone to reach out and love us?<br />
<br />
Loneliness is a great push for us to not only search for something deeper but to also share with those around us more deeply. I believe everyone is on a journey in life and that involves spirituality. Loneliness is a disconnect in our spirits. Even in my marriage, Hubs who knows me best, cannot know me fully. So there is this disconnect, a gap in the spirit.<br />
<br />
You can also be physically lonely. I was often times lonely when I lived in Japan because I felt that language kept me from fully sharing who I am. My jokes wouldn't translate, my background is different from theirs and values would be miscommunicated. Now that was not often the case and that's the worst scenario of my time there. <br />
<br />
So now in Colorado why do I still find myself lonely where language no longer is a barrier? I believe it has to do with more than being a stay at home mom. I think my loneliness also has to do with the fact that its hard to share who I am. I'm waiting for someone to show me their cards before I place my bet.<br />
<br />
Here's another news flash, that's not going to happen in real life. Hubs has told me, "To have good friends, you have to be a good friend" and I would totally agree.<br />
<br />
I'll be honest, I don't think there is any 100% cure to loneliness because I think loneliness (should) drive us to vulnerability and other people. We were made to live in communities and I am not talking online communities. I like my blog. It serves a need I have to write. I like facebook. I get to photostalk all y'all! But these venues are not real communities. We still need to physically get outside, away from our iphones, computers and look people in the face and talk to their faces. And let them argue, disagree, spur us on and love us just as we are.<br />
<br />
It's hard to pursue people in love when we just want them to pursue us in love. We want to sit back and let the sun rays of love warm us like we're on a beach somewhere. And for some of us, that happens. But even for those who are lucky to be pursued in love, you have to respond and return that love. You can't just lie there and soak it all in or it will eventually disappear!<br />
<br />
For most of us, we have to pursue first. We have to write the text or make the call... but in the end, sitting across from a friend, sharing life and a bit of ourselves too, isn't it worth it in the end?Joanna Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02568835279054666132noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15221347.post-87872058275321570882014-07-21T12:53:00.002-07:002014-07-21T12:53:49.457-07:00What is she thinking?I have gone back and forth (and back and forth) deciding between picking up this ol' blog and leaving it lie.<br />
<br />
Writing and words are such a part of who I am. While I am at home by myself with my kids I write in my head. I write posts and tell stories about what is happening and life lessons I am learning.<br />
<br />
I'm afraid to pick up this blog again because I want it to be more than just stories about poopie diapers, tantrums and potty training. I am not going to lie, I want to be more than those things too. I want to be hip concerts, microbrews and late nights out with friends. I want to write about things that will make you say, "Wow!"<br />
<br />
But in reality, I am not those things. I am late night feedings, sore hips and microwaved leftovers...<br />
<br />
I am realizing though... that a lot more people in my life are the latter.<br />
<br />
So here I am... hoping to connect friends old and new through the internet and physically together with real life. This is where I can come and be myself and know that I am okay with who I am. So I hope we can all connect on my blog, talking, debating and sharing. While I feel okay with who I am, this is a place where you will always be welcomed to be who you are. In the words of Mark Darcy "I like you very much. Just the way you are."<br />
<br />
So despite the fact that I am a tired but blessed mummy (I feel like I should use British here now that I've referenced Bridget Jones) I have decided to pick up this ol' blog, blow off the dust and share with you in hopes that my (un)fabulous stories of poopies and microwaves will inspire not only other mothers but anyone in life to live fabulously wherever they are in life.<br />
<br />
So "what is she thinking, is she crazy restarting her blog?" I guess the answer to that is... we shall see!Joanna Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02568835279054666132noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15221347.post-32562059558898706442013-05-22T16:11:00.001-07:002013-05-22T16:11:09.615-07:00Better than before<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6MyLmsSN3F1OWaS57xycc-0aCHiM8wDYDXXcBNhUEv4t-vIUgpEtw9gOyPpF5LMG1t_hsdbpdGzyjbDPhMNvwYaumzlEbb29Zbf64ZbclOUpf08UMXtDMLSKU8mACFDyOd3RyvQ/s640/blogger-image-886862132.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6MyLmsSN3F1OWaS57xycc-0aCHiM8wDYDXXcBNhUEv4t-vIUgpEtw9gOyPpF5LMG1t_hsdbpdGzyjbDPhMNvwYaumzlEbb29Zbf64ZbclOUpf08UMXtDMLSKU8mACFDyOd3RyvQ/s640/blogger-image-886862132.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Something about leaving made me want to bless the next tenants. My cynical mind went right to, "managers just gonna rip 'em out!" because its been an uphill battle trying to leave with good graces between our manager and us. That story shall be told another day. Anway, I persevered and decided that no matter what the managers decide to do I have a responsibility to God and to my own well being. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">So I took my beautiful and beloved mums which have thrived and are soon to bloom and planted them along the fence. I wish I remembered what colors they were so I could attempt to landscape them properly but alas, they'll be beautiful no matter what. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">And with dirt under my nails and sweat on my brow I leaned back and thought, "I should have had these here when I lived here. " and that is EXACTLY how I want to leave. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">With things better than they were when I moved in....</div>Joanna Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02568835279054666132noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15221347.post-29692860277486201022013-05-18T10:15:00.004-07:002013-05-19T08:55:23.599-07:00In this moment (take 2)<div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcYC7f60Z9lOsgPctZ9NQAue0jQ90nokdJvhAVvzbmnbI-S2CT2ZH6gYumqw_f4M6qIEShVZrXWLTt9o9CCx9dx1gx-wRdA-SVTgnlnmtGJuHNBcdUcE7ymzrW3IC46gk34TyXwA/s640/blogger-image-101302270.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcYC7f60Z9lOsgPctZ9NQAue0jQ90nokdJvhAVvzbmnbI-S2CT2ZH6gYumqw_f4M6qIEShVZrXWLTt9o9CCx9dx1gx-wRdA-SVTgnlnmtGJuHNBcdUcE7ymzrW3IC46gk34TyXwA/s640/blogger-image-101302270.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZAXyaJaA-u13Aeu61Ib935kCC6P8qxZETA-A4Pjnw31j61uTXpw6qqLB40AgVXv57egBNKh3rBthnYoiZ_XP9lf7OmeNWDUeWgZ7b4ouPgSFWck1xLX4FltggoZt8-rECoHumLw/s640/blogger-image--1382963348.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZAXyaJaA-u13Aeu61Ib935kCC6P8qxZETA-A4Pjnw31j61uTXpw6qqLB40AgVXv57egBNKh3rBthnYoiZ_XP9lf7OmeNWDUeWgZ7b4ouPgSFWck1xLX4FltggoZt8-rECoHumLw/s640/blogger-image--1382963348.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibfGRHB7YZ1iVJPGpHcqI8mtaTfPe-cW-7r6pAJQUju74EICZsx1mn645ugswVtYOEt4B7b-22eR5FXEJ8xPCraXjbLaO7uv1WJjgiKFyfAdMASkr-5QxgJ7vaunpbzdBclpKNIg/s640/blogger-image--2125534031.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibfGRHB7YZ1iVJPGpHcqI8mtaTfPe-cW-7r6pAJQUju74EICZsx1mn645ugswVtYOEt4B7b-22eR5FXEJ8xPCraXjbLaO7uv1WJjgiKFyfAdMASkr-5QxgJ7vaunpbzdBclpKNIg/s640/blogger-image--2125534031.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSrDaDXcYkCxy4NrV6y6HjllIQQ8vwE3O1QFPhCI7LAl3VQuD7HImrh5oqssK7gRccvtNI2BhTXEYDeHC4M5NXxBoyHOEdT8TsSrAgtcEvOfGhEzuqW6rfbDP0wokhANJ2vXSJSw/s640/blogger-image-1037074020.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwK1vvcpwrF9hFEJjsCmffpyWUhmEGJxJ4K3rcLSaWP5heR78GOAeMDjyiSZiecoVJQLV1oKwMLGon9ofZTYV_219hNKhHWFc-O22kpA-0ir1OjfILQ1xU0gXQt1f4fHu1An4KCQ/s640/blogger-image--432700124.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwK1vvcpwrF9hFEJjsCmffpyWUhmEGJxJ4K3rcLSaWP5heR78GOAeMDjyiSZiecoVJQLV1oKwMLGon9ofZTYV_219hNKhHWFc-O22kpA-0ir1OjfILQ1xU0gXQt1f4fHu1An4KCQ/s640/blogger-image--432700124.jpg"></a></div><br></div><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSrDaDXcYkCxy4NrV6y6HjllIQQ8vwE3O1QFPhCI7LAl3VQuD7HImrh5oqssK7gRccvtNI2BhTXEYDeHC4M5NXxBoyHOEdT8TsSrAgtcEvOfGhEzuqW6rfbDP0wokhANJ2vXSJSw/s640/blogger-image-1037074020.jpg"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibfGRHB7YZ1iVJPGpHcqI8mtaTfPe-cW-7r6pAJQUju74EICZsx1mn645ugswVtYOEt4B7b-22eR5FXEJ8xPCraXjbLaO7uv1WJjgiKFyfAdMASkr-5QxgJ7vaunpbzdBclpKNIg/s640/blogger-image--2125534031.jpg"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZAXyaJaA-u13Aeu61Ib935kCC6P8qxZETA-A4Pjnw31j61uTXpw6qqLB40AgVXv57egBNKh3rBthnYoiZ_XP9lf7OmeNWDUeWgZ7b4ouPgSFWck1xLX4FltggoZt8-rECoHumLw/s640/blogger-image--1382963348.jpg"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcYC7f60Z9lOsgPctZ9NQAue0jQ90nokdJvhAVvzbmnbI-S2CT2ZH6gYumqw_f4M6qIEShVZrXWLTt9o9CCx9dx1gx-wRdA-SVTgnlnmtGJuHNBcdUcE7ymzrW3IC46gk34TyXwA/s640/blogger-image-101302270.jpg"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div></div><div>When I was young I made the mistake of thinking things never changed and that goodbyes weren't necessary. I never said goodbye because in my precious little world goodbyes weren't a part of them. </div><div><br></div><div>I left my childhood home and never said goodbye. I didn't take my beautiful best friend and lifesaver in so many ways face in my hands and look her in the eyes and say, "I wanna thank you. Thank you for helping to shape me for who I am. Thank you for laughing with me at life and into life. Thank you for being by my side through thick and thin. For crying with me in break ups and being loyal when no one else was. Thank you for sitting by me in junior high when no one else would and lets be honest I didn't deserve anyone too! Thanks Sarah for being my best friend. And things are about to change and we're gonna change but I'll always love you and I'll always consider you one of the most influential people's in my life. Thank you." </div><div>That's what 18 year old Joanna would say. But 18 year old Joanna thought life and people would stay the same. </div><div><br></div><div>So now I am taking the time to appreciate and love the little things from California. I'm taking California's face in my hands this week and looking into it's eyes and telling it that things are gonna change... But that I'll always love it and be grateful for the time we had together. </div><div><br></div><div>Here's part of how I said goodbye to Japan... I always thought I'd go back and maybe I will... But here's the goodbye I wrote the night before I left. </div><a href="http://joannakay.blogspot.com/2008/06/in-this-moment.html">http://joannakay.blogspot.com/2008/06/in-this-moment.html</a>Joanna Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02568835279054666132noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15221347.post-58572907302743495422013-05-18T10:15:00.001-07:002013-05-18T10:15:12.721-07:00Leaving<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8y8aSKhm14QttE0D8jkzkqxyEGMPzf0wBkUNTEkcdIjCVUM-6xBYuruHJD4v2RfRIwJ_hIO7J_I6wTohfbVzz-RfAcAJjcGaU7hg7UIuJ1I5-I1usMqeWCW9PkRaa6zsR1PtWhA/s640/blogger-image--1783650918.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8y8aSKhm14QttE0D8jkzkqxyEGMPzf0wBkUNTEkcdIjCVUM-6xBYuruHJD4v2RfRIwJ_hIO7J_I6wTohfbVzz-RfAcAJjcGaU7hg7UIuJ1I5-I1usMqeWCW9PkRaa6zsR1PtWhA/s320/blogger-image--1783650918.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
I really don't like goodbyes.<br />
<br />
I'm terrible at them. I either don't cry or I cry too much. I either am laughing and making it seem like it won't tear my heart a bit to leave OR I'm blubbering too much, snot dripping down my face and people are wondering if I'm going to be okay.<br />
<br />
I do not like goodbyes.<br />
<br />
There is so much to say and to do... so many last moments and before I know it they have all passed me by and I didn't relish in the beauty of those moments.<br />
<br />
Life....<br />
<br />
Life has not happened like I thought it would. It has been harder in ways I couldn't have predicted and a HUGE blessing in other ways.<br />
<br />
I have lived in California longer than any other place minus my childhood home. Isn't that crazy? It's a bit sad to me to be honest. I didn't think I would be in California for a long time and I had a hard time adjusting so I pretty much rebelled against putting down any sort of roots for the first two (maybe more) years. But then life happens. And babies happened. And plural amounts of babies were not part of my plan. Thank the Lord because I am forever changed and blessed by them. But in the unpredictability of said plural amounts of Love Bugs I was in a good way forced to put roots down and appreciate the little roots that had grown in my heart without my knowing.<br />
<br />
And I prayed at the beginning that I would cry leaving this place because although I couldn't see it and didn't think it would happen, I wanted to be sad to leave the place that was so hard to get used to. I've never felt like such a foreigner in my own land and never so out of place and out of sync and like... a nerd in a place quite like I have living in California.<br />
<br />
California has dug up the ugly parts of my heart and for that I hated it.<br />
<br />
But now I am sad to be leaving it. Weird, how that happens huh? <br />
<br />
California, thank you for changing me.Joanna Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02568835279054666132noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15221347.post-32204728229902475542013-02-28T18:35:00.000-08:002013-02-28T18:35:21.880-08:00Granola: family style and Paleo<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha1ElokdeUICsDehZmCCBqjMNn3IejR5bTk1NKiw7uJr1eHauiPtmFThetaROG25JvIShUSsFj7GjsHe3kLEsimjWWowEqvMWgQhm9M2_4AKGqdVEd7LG0mtdpBhSZSPcAzfjl3A/s640/blogger-image--1246044740.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha1ElokdeUICsDehZmCCBqjMNn3IejR5bTk1NKiw7uJr1eHauiPtmFThetaROG25JvIShUSsFj7GjsHe3kLEsimjWWowEqvMWgQhm9M2_4AKGqdVEd7LG0mtdpBhSZSPcAzfjl3A/s640/blogger-image--1246044740.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Before Hubs wooed me and won my heart I was a single gal living in a large foreign city and loving life. I also was not a consistent cook. I had my moments of glory. Moments where it seemed domesticity was my middle name and I was going to conquer all cobwebs and dirty toilets I had blissful glimpses of what being a wife would look like and I dreamed of it daily. I wanted to be a wife and mother.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
But those were fleeting glances. I was definitely a bachelorette living like a bachelorette with fleeting moments of wife-hood...ness? Wifehoodness? </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Anyway, the thing that shocked me most about marriage was that my adorable Hubs wanted meals... big meals, like three meals a day, with all food groups present. Seriously? I have to give you vegetables? And protein? And carbs?.... Three times? Well, maybe twice he wants a full balanced meal and breakfast can be easier. What can I say? Marriage has changed him too! But if Hubs had his way he'd be eating Chinese breakfast aka soybean soup, Chinese "donuts", pork buns, and rice porridge.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Anyway, I could eat (and do eat when Hubs is gone) cereal for 3 meals a day. It's got your fruit, your dairy, and your grains. Cereal is all I require to survive. Well, cereal and popcorn. But my love for popcorn is another topic for another day.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
With cereal, I especially love granola! I love love LOVE granola. It's got this tangy saltiness, tart dried fruit and sweet undertones of the honey melting into one beautiful dish. I love granola!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Recently, I started doing paleo and was a bit sad to realize that I couldn't eat cereal. Well, I recently discovered this <a href="http://paleomg.com/paleo-granola/" target="_blank">beautiful website full of glorious recipes</a> and one of them being GRANOLA.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
So I adapted it (didn't need that much sweetness) and have made my own combining my Grandmother's wisdom and my desire to cut back on refined sugars and processed carbs.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
So without further ado; Schupbach Style Granola and Joanna's Adapted Granola!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Make, Eat and then softly sigh knowing that all is right in life when one can enjoy a bowl of cereal</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Schupbach Style</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
7 c. oats</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
1 c. sweetened shredded coconut</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
1 c. almond slivers</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
1/2 c. honey</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
2/3 c. oil</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
1 t. salt</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
1 t. cinnamon</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
1 t. vanilla</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Place in 2 jelly roll pans and bake at 325 degrees for 30 minutes, stirring occasionally When cool, add 1 c. raisins. Store in air tight container.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Joanna's Paleo Adapted Granola</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
2 c. almond slivers</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
2 c. chopped pecans</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
2 c. sunflower seeds</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
2 c. unsweetened coconut shredded</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
1/2 c. honey</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
1 c. melted coconut oil</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
salt</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
cinnamon</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Bake at 325 degrees for 30 minutes, stirring occasionally, and sniffing the sweet air of deliciousness. When cool, add craisins. Store in air tight container.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Now, if you don't mind, I have some granola to take out of the oven, cool it and eat it.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
What do you like in your granola?</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Joanna Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02568835279054666132noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15221347.post-5064733169795983262013-02-10T13:29:00.003-08:002013-02-10T13:29:55.534-08:00i'll admit itOkay, so I'll admit it. There are days when I'm a "better" mother than other days. Days when I rise early, get showered, dressed and cleaned... make pancakes from scratch with blueberries, bounce up the stairs to get my rising babies while birds are chirping alongside me and woodland creatures folding the laundry downstairs....<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Side note: they should make a disney princess who's married and has a kid. I'd love to see her whistle while she sweeps up cheerios for the 16th time that day. ;)</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Anyway, I do have the days where I am thankful and grateful and my God-cup is full so full that I am overflowing and spilling all the blessings onto others.</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7h5NRB0VG_yUaSS01KzPGShNDXoDwk4u7yxlAckEEz8QdNHv1ZzAEC_sWlBmsdIbkrJgthaHUxSxF1g-AYfcAQd97BKYsIrMxko_knA2juSCPhlnOfp5HGJSo9CV3Mxh_3b0e5g/s1600/IMG_2044.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7h5NRB0VG_yUaSS01KzPGShNDXoDwk4u7yxlAckEEz8QdNHv1ZzAEC_sWlBmsdIbkrJgthaHUxSxF1g-AYfcAQd97BKYsIrMxko_knA2juSCPhlnOfp5HGJSo9CV3Mxh_3b0e5g/s400/IMG_2044.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I hear ya sister. Some times we do better than others...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
...</div>
<div>
and then. there are other days. Days where I can't sing because I'm selfish and I don't want to sing. :) </div>
<div>
Days where I feel like I'm a performer at a dinner and show kind of place because no eating will be done unless I am doing "wheels on the bus" with full motions...</div>
<div>
Days where Baby Beluga turns into 30 verses instead of 3.</div>
<div>
Days where mommy says, "blah blah blah" because it makes her feel like a little victory after having read the same book forty-two times. ha ha ha take that! I'm reading the book but I'm reading it MY way, suckers!</div>
<div>
Days where I can recite all of winnie the pooh and baby einstein rhymes because I've read them forty-two times.</div>
<div>
Days where I drive laps around the pike in downtown long beach because they're taping my favorite show and I am hoping for a sighting of a star (yup, true story) and babies are crying in the backseat because they should be napping and I respond with, "Don't you know how important this is to me?" Baaah! (just airin' my dirty laundry people!)</div>
<div>
Days where pigeons attack my stroller because I've let the snacks spill all over and I'm too scared of catching fleas so I try to combat the pigeons with a coffee cup.</div>
<div>
Days where poopie diapers are like nuclear bombs, destroying everything in their path and making it seemingly impossible for new life to grow there ever. again.</div>
<div>
Days where snacks explode all over the car.</div>
<div>
Oatmeal gets rubbed in hair.</div>
<div>
Days where I feed my Love Bugs cookies for breakfast lunch and dinner because... well, because there's <i>oatmeal</i> in there?!</div>
<div>
Days where I lay my head down for a sweet night's sleep and Elmo's song runs through it to lull me to sleep... and Lord love me, I can't keep my toes from tapping.</div>
<div>
Days where I think Elmo is passive aggressive and manipulative...</div>
<div>
Days where I think Elmo is so stinkin' cute and I wish he were real...</div>
<div>
Days where I can't remember the last time I showered... and come to think of brushed my teeth.</div>
<div>
Laundry sits in the basket till I'm forced to empty it on the bed so I can put the next full load in.</div>
<div>
Blueberries wind up in ear canals and Love Bugs trying to pick their boogers or clean their own bottoms during changings...</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
life is messy.</div>
<div>
but life is also loads of fun.</div>
<div>
I'm never going to end up on a magazine cover or walk a Hollywood red carpet ... but I'll admit it. I'd take my cheerios-ground-in-and-accident-stained rug any day over that fancy shmancy carpet, anyway!</div>
<div>
As my good friend Jamie hashtagged, "good play makes a good mess" and I couldn't agree more.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Invite some mess into your life. Let your little ones discover and adventure and yes, probably rip off the cover off a book (or two). But let them know they are more important than whether anyone else thinks I look like a good mother or not. And this goes for all you married with no kids and singletons too! Enjoy the freedom to make messes and learn from them or just live in them. Life isn't perfect! Enjoy it!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
How do you invite "good mess" into <i>your</i> life? </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Joanna Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02568835279054666132noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15221347.post-55340662862453805142013-02-01T22:36:00.000-08:002013-02-01T22:36:33.654-08:00recharging the batteries*Thanks to everyone who responded to my last post! Love you all and praying for those who were honest about their own struggles!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgReGH3x3bNAoyHkheQg5PG4MoS-Rsl5lB7-9Ib-vmBgUokNdsqd5iNJEA32wDfBP7omw-SjDjIS0jvAcuZwHvVUyH9yntvRij4-EF28dSa89TdJiqovUx8fVDpsOqVZCHy5QENjA/s1600/IMG_2028.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgReGH3x3bNAoyHkheQg5PG4MoS-Rsl5lB7-9Ib-vmBgUokNdsqd5iNJEA32wDfBP7omw-SjDjIS0jvAcuZwHvVUyH9yntvRij4-EF28dSa89TdJiqovUx8fVDpsOqVZCHy5QENjA/s320/IMG_2028.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
I talked about my trip down <a href="http://joannakay.blogspot.com/2013/01/responsibility-realization.html" target="_blank">"postpartum depression lane"</a> and one thing that helps me when the days get hard is to do things that recharge my batteries. And recharging my batteries was one of the best pieces of advice I received when I was in the throngs of babyhood. I'll never forget when a dear friend and fellow twins mama told me that I needed to take time <i>every</i> day for myself and do what was good for me! She went on to explain that for her, it was drinking a small glass of wine just to relax. She laughed and said she'd even had a glass of wine at eleven a.m. Judge all you want... but it helped her to face the day and relax. Actually, better that you don't judge, cause that's just a bad habit to develop, encourage and entangle yourself in.<br />
<br />
Anyway, I love my friend and I loved her advice.<br />
<br />
So I'd like to talk about things that can recharge our batteries and I'd like to hear from you; what recharges your batteries when you need them filled. I especially want to hear from you introverts. I feel like introverts will have some great insight into "unplugging" and "recharging"! So let me hear them. What are some ways you recharge?<br />
<br />
For me... there are a couple things...<br />
1. reading a good book. I always try to have several books around. When I expressed to my bestie Kelli that I always read my books too quickly she suggested that I check out several books at one time. Kelli's so smart. :) If you're stumped about what to read I suggest getting on <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/" target="_blank">this site</a><a href="http://www.goodreads.com/" target="_blank"> Goodreads</a> to see what your friends are reading, read through reviews and get suggestions as to what to read next. I currently have six books to read in the month of February. Everything from spiritual encouragements to raising chickens in your backyards. You can't go wrong with reading a good book!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjQWPhbSRQXHK5d_GEzGoJsoedv2zl3PXQx68TWMTQWkOAQxgVNM_uBRogIg0z43JtCi3FAP0rfV_6bpQfcu78ZMUYmDNdDBlife8o9yx1Ownw5yhci9KnX11tgLqPOuxHOjwxmg/s1600/IMG_2010.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjQWPhbSRQXHK5d_GEzGoJsoedv2zl3PXQx68TWMTQWkOAQxgVNM_uBRogIg0z43JtCi3FAP0rfV_6bpQfcu78ZMUYmDNdDBlife8o9yx1Ownw5yhci9KnX11tgLqPOuxHOjwxmg/s320/IMG_2010.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
2. a night out with friends. While I still have my flaming "extrovert" moments those are further and farther between. So even a night out with 1 friend is still a good and necessary recharge to my batteries.<br />
<br />
3. doing something for someone else. I need to write down a list of things I want to do and budget for them because when I take time out of my day and think of someone beside myself it helps me remember that there are others out there besides me. Disclaimer: this is different than thinking of my Love Bugs. It's good for me to think of fun ways to love them, new stickers, trips to the park, spontaneous trips to the aquarium, etc. but I'm thinking of doing things for others who aren't in my every day schedule. :) This includes care packages for friends, crochet projects for new babies and sending a beloved piece of snail mail to someone I'm thinking of. <br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3YgM16t3XcBaW8KUVYzHBtTcEp5xCPmqJ1ezXLmTT3zakMfCGIB38xFnZrtHVAiJ76NE-m_xG73ye0YmUFsgC-ftsHDvghvO0VDg3HT59MU4rFNvWg8y0oKzy-B6uXTNUjEm4ZQ/s1600/IMG_2018.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3YgM16t3XcBaW8KUVYzHBtTcEp5xCPmqJ1ezXLmTT3zakMfCGIB38xFnZrtHVAiJ76NE-m_xG73ye0YmUFsgC-ftsHDvghvO0VDg3HT59MU4rFNvWg8y0oKzy-B6uXTNUjEm4ZQ/s320/IMG_2018.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">the small things in life make me so happy</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Something I've been trying to do recently<br />
4. is to record at least one thing from the day. Something special from the day like something I saw, people I was with, things I did, moments. Trying to capture those moments help me to not get too focused on the upsets and frustrating times.<br />
<br />
Finally for now, <br />
5. taking 15 minutes every day to pamper myself. Some times I do a mask, sometimes a glass of wine, sometimes I literally make a cup of tea and STARE out the window. I don't talk to anyone, I don't get on my computer, I don't do anything but relax. <br />
<br />
What do you do? How do you relax and recharge?Joanna Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02568835279054666132noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15221347.post-47094789186333176802013-01-30T16:23:00.000-08:002013-01-30T16:23:09.647-08:00responsibility & realization<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzN8suOCYceWl6v9uQhav5gmQ2Mv4w1_DGNJ5bl3Q_S77zJvQWNPa-Dgj6BaT6zuGWfZ7liSR_2zA0F5rNdYQfpYrNkOb8OVLoYEzd6rC0dyu2M2-itsy_Z9UBZqrskjZ5UF11Mw/s1600/P7140063.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzN8suOCYceWl6v9uQhav5gmQ2Mv4w1_DGNJ5bl3Q_S77zJvQWNPa-Dgj6BaT6zuGWfZ7liSR_2zA0F5rNdYQfpYrNkOb8OVLoYEzd6rC0dyu2M2-itsy_Z9UBZqrskjZ5UF11Mw/s400/P7140063.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I love this picture because it shows that even though I was about to enter a dark time I was at first, very excited and very full of love for my Love Bugs.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
When the girls were first born I had postpartum depression. I hesitated for the longest time calling it that because I felt like it wasn't the kind of pd that you hear about on the news. But it was bad. for me. I would cry waking up in the morning dreading another day. I ignored friends phone calls because I didn't want to make petty conversations and didn't want to hear their cheerful voices. I wanted to be alone and felt alone. It was dark. I told Hubs we needed to prepare ourselves if this was the "new me". I was concerned that this would be the "mother Joanna"... always anxious, scared and weepy. I cried every day for the first five months of the girls lives. Every. Day. And that is not an exaggeration. I cried every day. My thought life went wild with crazy thoughts and I have lingering moments that can still can take me down a bad place if I'm not careful. <div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Mostly my feelings related to wanting to run away and imagine "what if" things had been different. I could rationalize away my desire to run away with the thought that if I were gone, Hubs would find a better wife. Sounds crazy, doesn't it? And yet, I fantasized those thoughts all the time.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
One of the hardest things about motherhood was the realization that I was totally responsible for two very little lives. I wasn't able to separate the decisions of feeding and napping and swaddling or not from the decisions to homeschool, potty train, spank, let them drive a car, have cell phones, etc. All the decisions I would be making came swooping in on me all at once and I was very overwhelmed (and very tired).</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Two little lives and little faces stared at me. Sometimes they were silently wondering up at me and sometimes they were screaming or squirming. I didn't know what they wanted and I didn't know how to give them whatever that was that they wanted. I felt so much love for them and yet so much fear for screwing them up. One of my closest friends and fellow twins mama JK told me, "You can <i>not</i> screw them up." and I literally thought of cross-stitching that on a pillow somewhere where I could see it every day. If I hadn't been sleep deprived and living in a constant fog of "what the heck is happening" I may have actually done it.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
With time and sleep has come the ability to realize that I need to face only the day that is before me and not to worry about what may or may not come. The decision to potty train (and how), to homeschool (or not), to spank, drive, cell phones, dating (oh Lord, be near), etc. etc. etc. ALL those decisions will come later in life and I will receive the grace when time is needed.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
One of my friends once said that God doesn't give us grace for imagined fears.... and what she meant by that was, God isn't going to give me the grace to face the fears of having teenage twin daughters NOW because that is not what God is asking me to walk through TODAY. He is giving me grace for today.</div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">And boy, did I need it today. The Love Bugs were in a <i>mood</i> this morning. The only way to describe the mood is to italicize it. It was a <i style="font-weight: bold;">mood</i>. I guess bold doesn't hurt either!! And the feelings of running away came creeping up on me. Being a mother has been one of the hardest journeys God has asked me to walk and yet, one of the greatest. Don't get me wrong, I love my Love Bugs and I wouldn't trade all the lessons I am learning but they are difficult.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">So when I am overwhelmed with responsibility I am reminded that all things are ultimately in God's hand and He was faithful to see me through the first year of the Love Bugs' life so I know He can see me through anything.</span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I wanted to write this to encourage you that God will see you through whatever it is you are facing. Even when we don't feel like we are able to be faithful to God... when the road is dark and the way seems impossible. 2 Timothy 2:13 says, <i><span style="background-color: white;">if we are faithless,</span><span style="background-color: white;"> </span><sup class="crossreference" style="background-color: white; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29824B" title="See cross-reference B">B</a>)"></sup><span style="background-color: white;">he remains faithful, </span></i><span style="background-color: white; font-style: italic;">for</span><span style="background-color: white; font-style: italic;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; font-style: italic;"><sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29824C" title="See cross-reference C">C</a>)"></sup></span><span style="background-color: white;"><i>he cannot deny himself. </i>It's God's very character to be faithful. Trust and rely on Him. He will not let you down or disappoint you.</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">There are days when I want to give in to the thoughts and just give up because it seems easier. But then I do the things that "recharge my batteries" and I am able to face the moment. If only that moment. I'd like to keep talking about this because it's one of the reasons I haven't blogged recently. I have these little voices that tell me you all don't want to hear about this season of my life... and you know what, it's okay if you don't but it's also good for those who have been there and may be there someday. Life is good but life can be hard and when it gets tough its good to know you are not alone. Not only does God give us His people who have gone through similar circumstances but He has also given us His Spirit who comforts us in our times.</span></span>Joanna Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02568835279054666132noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15221347.post-81688889423515987962013-01-16T14:36:00.002-08:002013-01-16T14:36:42.906-08:00a conversation<i>"Whoever is slow to anger..."</i><br />
Oh?! See now, You got me right there. Slow to anger? Slow?!?! Sloooow to anger? Are you sure you meant <i>slow</i>, Lord? What about quick to apologize after being angry? Is that the same thing? No?<br />
<br />
"Slow to anger" is not a phrase people would use to desrcribe me. Slow?!<br />
<br />
I'm more like the "sons of thunder" with my "righteous anger" and lightning quick judgement! BOOM! You mess with Jesus? Boom! You aren't feeding the hungry? Boom! You called that person a naughty phrase while driving? Bo... what?! Oh, that was me?! Oh, yeah, that <b>was </b>me!<br />
<br />
Okay, Lord, so maybe my anger isn't righteous. Okay, so it's rarely righteous. But that's okay cause its something between you and me, right? We're "working" on it, right?<br />
<br />
What do you mean by planting seeds? The Love Bugs? Oh, no! They're too young to learn about anger. I'll wait till they're older to start implem... wait, what? Oh, that?!<br />
<br />
Yeah, I saw that when Love Bug threw out a full out tantrum and did a "Godzilla" through Grandma's Christmas village. Yup, I saw that. I remember <i>saying</i> it was "cute" but <i>thinking</i> I didn't know what to do with her. Or when the other Love Bug didn't get her toy and smacked her sister in the face. When one of them takes the book and the other one resorts to pulling her down to the ground. I can see what you mean by self-control or lack there of but what does this have to do with me? I haven't hit someone since the last time I saw my brothers. Oh, so it's my words? They're snappy and full of pain. And the expression on my face when I yelled at the lady who cut me off?<br />
<br />
The Love Bugs saw that?<br />
<br />
Wow, now I see what you mean by fruit of Eve. I see little seeds of anger popping up in the Love Bugs lives and they're still so young.<br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><span class="text Prov-16-32" id="en-ESV-16873" style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; position: relative;">"Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, </span><span class="indent-1" style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Prov-16-32" style="position: relative;">and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city." (Proverbs 16:32)</span></span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><span class="indent-1" style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;"><span class="text Prov-16-32" style="position: relative;"><br /></span></span></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="indent-1" style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;"><span class="text Prov-16-32" style="position: relative;">Lord, forgive me for setting an example of what not to do, thank you for showing me how to love others and help me rule my spirit so that I can show the Love Bugs how to rule theirs.</span></span></span>Joanna Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02568835279054666132noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15221347.post-67215704837625479802013-01-09T14:00:00.000-08:002013-01-09T14:00:02.625-08:00reoccurringMy most reoccurring dream, hands down, would be catching the train in Japan.<br />
<br />
In my dream, I'm buying my ticket and I either am about to miss the train or I'm short the amount needed to make my purchase. Last night the tickets came out like when you don't have the right amount of stamp currency needed so you tack on a 5 cent stamp and then a couple 1 cent-ers so that before you can send the letter it's got a long row of stamps on it. That's what my ticket looked like. A long row of 5 yen going some place and another 5 yen going further on.<br />
<br />
I'm always going somewhere different and I'm always at a different station. Sometimes it's an actual station and sometimes it doesn't look familiar but <i>I know the station.</i> Sometimes I'm even going to Tokyo Disney (seriously don't want to miss THAT train, now do I?).<br />
<br />
I don't know why catching the train either. Maybe because it was the source of so many moments of exasperation but also jubilation. I got on far too many trains only to realize I was headed in the wrong direction. I once rode a train for 15 hours. A slow moving, stop at every stop train for 15 hours. I've fallen asleep on trains and I've stayed very vigilant on them so I wouldn't miss my stop. I traveled to see friends, to learn the language and to live life. The train in Japan was a part of my life there as much as taking off my shoes in the doorway and eating with chopsticks. It was normal.<br />
<br />
It's these dreams that keep me connected to a land I love and a place that changed me. A place that I "grew up" in and made promises to grow old in with friends. "If our husbands die before us...." that sort of thing. I love my dreams. I love that they connect me to a place where I can't travel physically to right now. So as long as they occur, I'll embrace them, enjoy them and run like mad to catch the next one.<br />
<br />
<br />Joanna Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02568835279054666132noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15221347.post-77512080172989101472013-01-06T10:01:00.002-08:002013-01-06T10:01:32.387-08:00practice makes perfect<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFIoODZ37FI5jmWWfHN7iw9nvtpEQYOlJs_iCC-YVUTqwRKPNzNZ2OYwCkcrcPanr-4yx4YKpcge0nCx7189oVMi_UzK_tQUr9MW4xXKHhf5iE7R7XNgGyi9ZiL9OUM84aJt5o6A/s1600/IMG_1695.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFIoODZ37FI5jmWWfHN7iw9nvtpEQYOlJs_iCC-YVUTqwRKPNzNZ2OYwCkcrcPanr-4yx4YKpcge0nCx7189oVMi_UzK_tQUr9MW4xXKHhf5iE7R7XNgGyi9ZiL9OUM84aJt5o6A/s400/IMG_1695.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
Why do you suppose most people don't finish their new year's resolutions?<br />
<br />
I know for me, personally, it's all about the passage of time and my own laziness. I am a forgetful person (times that by 100 now that I have kids. If you don't see me write it down, it ain't gonna happen!) and a very "on my own terms" kind of person.<br />
<br />
While reading <a href="http://onethousandgifts.com/" target="_blank">"One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp</a> I came across her thoughts on why she'd often times heard a sermon or read scripture about "giving thanks" but how it had never really changed her. She says it all boils down to <i>practice </i>for her. She discovers this while reading Philippians 4:11-13<br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><span class="text Phil-4-11" id="en-NIV-29454" style="background-color: white;">"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content<sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29454O" title="See cross-reference O">O</a>)"></sup> whatever the circumstances.</span><span style="background-color: white;"> </span><span class="text Phil-4-12" id="en-NIV-29455" style="background-color: white;">I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry,<sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29455P" title="See cross-reference P">P</a>)"></sup> whether living in plenty or in want.<sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29455Q" title="See cross-reference Q">Q</a>)"></sup></span><span style="background-color: white;"> </span><span class="text Phil-4-13" id="en-NIV-29456" style="background-color: white;"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;"> </sup>I can do all this through him who gives me strength."</span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><span class="text Phil-4-13" style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Twice Paul mentions practice as in "I have learned" how to be thankful and content. We have to learn our goals, practice them.... daily, hourly, minute by minute remind myself that I am thankful.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">So in order to be successful with your New Year's resolution and for me to cultivate a more eucharisteo lifestyle, we must put ourselves to daily practice of such. Think about it. If your goal is to lose weight, you won't magically wake up tomorrow ten pounds lighter. Oh! If that were only the key to weight loss, everyone would be the ideal weight that they want OR on the other hand we'd have such a bad habit of indulgence because it would require nothing of us, no sacrifice for us to reach our ideal goal. If you could wake up tomorrow without working for your goal but having your goal accomplished I am willing to bet you wouldn't cherish your goal as much as working for it.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I have a lot of dear friends who are engaged right now. They labored and prayed and waited for these days. Think of how sweet the wedding will be after the wait is finally over. I know when Hubs and I got married I counted down the days and greatly anticipated the big celebration.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Anything worth having, is also worth waiting for and working towards.... right?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I confess, I am the worst at this. Worst! I have told you, my dear friends, multiples times how "itchy" and tired I get of life. I rearrange my furniture quarterly (if not more), I paint, I redecorate.... etc. I get so bored with life that I need change. And I've come to realize, appreciate and even admire that about myself. My desire for change is a gift from God. But how can I thrive in daily practice and discipline when I shudder at the mundane?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Sacrifice.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I cannot become the woman I am intended to be, the wife, the mother, the friend, sister, etc. without saying no to some things in life. For example; I want to get up at 6AM every morning. That means I have to be very good about going to be at a decent hour. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">You're probably thinking right now how boring and un-fun I sound but I want to encourage you that a little daily discipline and sacrifice can help us all to become the people we want to. Whether it's a spiritual goal or a physical goal. We can't reach it without discipline and sacrifice.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Read Hebrews 11! It's all about people who sacrificed without seeing the fruits of their labors. Yet, they continued to labor because they knew the real "fruits of their labors" didn't lay on this side of heaven. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">So what's your word? And how can you practice your word today?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>1 Corinthians 9:24, "Run in such a way to gain the prize"</i></span></div>
Joanna Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02568835279054666132noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15221347.post-82497695903378611732013-01-01T13:55:00.002-08:002013-01-01T14:37:56.269-08:00Twenty-Thirteen<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQrwm_RrsSyd8AC-LEeR3Oa8aGkr2OPVWxEsOTtbV7fPy1ONYwrHyW19qPjYhSmQ07ihwazTeD2bn09aq23mdjNdACpR9eR-USLPXvwE8PywEadvAIh3BuigrdocEK2W6pmk0PYg/s1600/photo+1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQrwm_RrsSyd8AC-LEeR3Oa8aGkr2OPVWxEsOTtbV7fPy1ONYwrHyW19qPjYhSmQ07ihwazTeD2bn09aq23mdjNdACpR9eR-USLPXvwE8PywEadvAIh3BuigrdocEK2W6pmk0PYg/s400/photo+1.JPG" width="300" /></a>Happy New Year everyone.<br />
This isn't going to be anything new or profound or groundbreaking. In fact, I wrote my thoughts down while the Love Bugs played and then I checked my email only to find that <a href="http://jonesdesigncompany.com/thoughts/a-word-for-the-new-year/" target="_blank">Emily over at JDC</a> had written a <i>very similar</i> blog. Girl after my own heart, I swear. Or maybe I'm after hers? <br />
<br />
Anyway, I like to start the new year with resolutions. Yup, I am that type of person. I like daydreaming and planning and the new starts in life. I like thinking anything is possible. Run a marathon? Sure! Learn a new language? Why not! Taking life by the horns and really enjoying the ride.<br />
<br />
I heard this morning that about only 7% of people <b>keep their resolutions</b> and accomplish them throughout the year. Wowzers! Seven. Percent. Wow! And this newscast I heard said that the other 93% are happy if they make it a week. A week?!?! Come on people... surely we haven't stooped that low that we can only be focused for a... wait, is that the ice cream truck I hear?<br />
<br />
Just kidding. But seriously, it is hard to keep resolutions and who has a hard time REMEMBERING their resolutions? It's true. So here are some thoughts I have and a snippet of my resolutions.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I </b></span><b><span style="font-size: large;">write down</span></b> <span style="font-size: large;"><b>my resolutions</b></span> in various places and have even placed them over my desk where I can see them. I've heard of people who make goal posters... laugh all you want but as <a href="http://girlonthemoveblog.com/" target="_blank">my friend Julie</a> told me, "3% of people made a goal poster and the rest are working for those 3%!" ha ha I don't know how factual that is but i like it. So write them down. Write them where you'll see them every day.<br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Reward yourself</span></b>. Find something. I've heard of giving yourself a dollar for every time you work-out then buying yourself a nice (and smaller) pair of jeans/pants/etc. when you reach $100. I like that one. Reward yourself with something you want and something you'll go for. <br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Choose a theme or word </span></b>to umbrella your resolutions under. For example, my word for 2012 was "contentment"... I wrote that word everywhere. EVERYWHERE and talked about it several times via my blog. Hubs asked me last night if I felt more content and ya know... I feel like I had really good peaceful content days and then I had days where my world was turned upside down and I couldn't get out of whatever the situation was fast enough. So contentment could possibly be my word every year.<br />
<br />
Here's a couple of my resolutions written down via the blog:<br />
*<i>work-out</i>; bicycling is going to happen more & this crazy video series I'm loving is going to happen consistently.<br />
*<i>blog more</i>. Yup, that's why I'm back. I seriously thought about shutting this blog down and saying goodbye. But for my sanity I need to write. I need to write and I need to process. I have things to say and instead of worrying about who is reading this and what they'll think (ugh, people-pleasing stinks!) what I'm doing and writing and saying on this blog is for me.<br />
*<i>potty train </i>my Love Bugs. That's right. I've already started the Love Bugs saying, "Poop" it's pretty freaking cute when they come over and look at me quizzically saying, "Poopy? Poopy?" and about half of the time they're right, they have just pooped. The other half of the time, they're just saying it. So we're slowly working on it. But goodness they're only 17 months. This goal has a loose (very loose and grace-filled for them and me) deadline of July 13th, their birthday. I have a friend who potty trained her sweet babe at 18 months and my mom did 2 years but then I have friends who waited till after 2, 3 and even later so it's a grace-filled goal.<br />
<br />
So there's a couple of goals. I also listed them on the right hand side of my blog so I can be reminded of them whenever I am on my blog. And you can remind me when you see them.<br />
<br />
My rewards include: $1 for every work-out accomplished, girls night out with my friend who is setting her own goal and probably a bottle of champagne when the girls are successfully potty trained. Or maybe I'll throw a party. For me! In Cabo! Or somewhere awesome! ha ha I'm still working on the rewards ... but its important to have them.<br />
<br />
And my theme word for 2013....<br />
is <span style="color: #0b5394; font-size: large;">eucharisteo</span> which means "thanksgiving" and was stolen from the book "<a href="http://onethousandgifts.com/about" target="_blank">A Thousand Gifts</a>" which is one of my favorite books. I read this book about two years ago and I still think about it and ponder a lot of the encouragement/challenges the author <a href="http://onethousandgifts.com/about" target="_blank">Ann Voskamp</a> gives. One way I am working on this is writing down one thing every day something I am thankful for. Just one. I hope I haven't lost my heart so much in the critical mess I live in that I can't find at least one thing. Most of my day, to be honest, is consumed with pity, fears and ungratefulness.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRZWkV2N8tiRM4eTYkT40UpNGJLPKmQWdnWbAyKxRUdPXF6Oq3epnmL77ASVpJgenFChg5cToo9UelFNwS2zLdiwAn643t7DDVOa1pKDCOhLoP4ePDUQ9WNHqLvAJ1x0dofoZjRg/s1600/photo+3.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRZWkV2N8tiRM4eTYkT40UpNGJLPKmQWdnWbAyKxRUdPXF6Oq3epnmL77ASVpJgenFChg5cToo9UelFNwS2zLdiwAn643t7DDVOa1pKDCOhLoP4ePDUQ9WNHqLvAJ1x0dofoZjRg/s400/photo+3.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
So I decided to focus on the Lord and how truly blessed I am, I wanted to give thanks. Each day. Pause and remember what God has done.<br />
<br />
So... are you someone who has resolutions? Do you have a word/theme for 2013?<br />
<br />
I'd love to hear from you if you do!<br />
<br />Joanna Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02568835279054666132noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15221347.post-86359527160101811112012-10-06T08:34:00.001-07:002012-10-06T08:36:10.292-07:00Today<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAiep3U3LSqFsC24mkp7GkyGMEmpu0fAVUc8xgeJYAXiQQ86DHdP-7Q33BP_N5omwEfRBRT82G2uB-CJ6cWbVSzLYIQI0ONqFGDsEA94dd1Rmn76UG8OBfOOXT7SNrTX4cqy4AmA/s1600/IMG_1287.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAiep3U3LSqFsC24mkp7GkyGMEmpu0fAVUc8xgeJYAXiQQ86DHdP-7Q33BP_N5omwEfRBRT82G2uB-CJ6cWbVSzLYIQI0ONqFGDsEA94dd1Rmn76UG8OBfOOXT7SNrTX4cqy4AmA/s320/IMG_1287.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
After yesterday's post I couldn't help but feel like I did a lot of whining and not a lot of solution finding. <br />
Thank God today His mercies are new and that I can start afresh. <br />
So here's what God reminded me of. Thankfulness. <br />
When I feel itchy in life I need to remember all the goodness God has lavished on me. Starting with His Son Jesus and the reconciliation that was offered on the cross. <br />
<i>Oh, Lord, help me not to lose sight of all that I have. </i><br />
I'm so humbled that even Jesus didn't consider Himself equal to God but became a servant. Man! How I need this mindset in life. <br />
I'm thankful for three awesome years with our neighbors and the way A brought beauty to her backyard. That woman was amazing with plants! I'm thankful for Long Beach and the church friends, neighbor friends and friends I have. I have so many!<br />
<br />
So here are just a FEW of the things I am thankful for....<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikjXLAUYE3EEBoNfgZqobMsqwaF8ClNpDrigVhaR1kAD3d0w76oUF3VqMTmNF0mFjkKjjxmL9-cnJc2yWLyty8IEoCsFFc-SPNW7-ziPI6MAcNGZh9lFE1lDh0XiQ8Zb06MhuC8A/s1600/IMG_0620.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikjXLAUYE3EEBoNfgZqobMsqwaF8ClNpDrigVhaR1kAD3d0w76oUF3VqMTmNF0mFjkKjjxmL9-cnJc2yWLyty8IEoCsFFc-SPNW7-ziPI6MAcNGZh9lFE1lDh0XiQ8Zb06MhuC8A/s320/IMG_0620.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
five years of friendship and three of those being married to the best man on this earth. Seriously love this guy!!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjT11ATEcdqqclaxpghWLJhSCkaaP2Z3aplJ5TQQle8uj44LYLiGB0QSpFbTaTaj45oCCAp06RhrI0o-1tQFwemJPSg3D2u8RzI6mAjqekUtaPkJzEk53_Okw9k0vaWDIOKRWMEYA/s1600/IMG_1309.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjT11ATEcdqqclaxpghWLJhSCkaaP2Z3aplJ5TQQle8uj44LYLiGB0QSpFbTaTaj45oCCAp06RhrI0o-1tQFwemJPSg3D2u8RzI6mAjqekUtaPkJzEk53_Okw9k0vaWDIOKRWMEYA/s320/IMG_1309.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
nature! I am so refreshed and revived when I get into God's creation!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBrlv2jbjht5MIEsi09dq2mJkSqxQgQDjBrBulJf47XJxtuFNdt9jHZmbvX0-4NjtcYs5eV55RQ0NWfeSEWIUIpLCJfbJHF86TLvcSHuMWEvlM90uzmSU-anFcg_Fd0rMYtVgPjg/s1600/IMG_1264.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBrlv2jbjht5MIEsi09dq2mJkSqxQgQDjBrBulJf47XJxtuFNdt9jHZmbvX0-4NjtcYs5eV55RQ0NWfeSEWIUIpLCJfbJHF86TLvcSHuMWEvlM90uzmSU-anFcg_Fd0rMYtVgPjg/s320/IMG_1264.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
family</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0-b1fy3j-JiiAMKcUrHa9ROCvtvwnpqLZW7HECYO7dCOCg_faCfePusbF83N4wWXSKsTsCcYZZ5tWvqhamhKj3u2PNaWnk2jm7h0CF2kdVwXms4H63_BcaSwk_9MKKggIBlTnjQ/s1600/IMG_1298.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0-b1fy3j-JiiAMKcUrHa9ROCvtvwnpqLZW7HECYO7dCOCg_faCfePusbF83N4wWXSKsTsCcYZZ5tWvqhamhKj3u2PNaWnk2jm7h0CF2kdVwXms4H63_BcaSwk_9MKKggIBlTnjQ/s320/IMG_1298.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
homemade soup</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3OJ91QDeYxsdt-aUtG-MJp6_kWAg1d1i4j7h73ng5n9c7n_NGS2zu474Z3VveO0fN9RLmQ-yG3-dPUcirxBicN-GEvm55dNyr0Qk0LBqwLVLRGJf0D6ApXe7ggTFX5APbSbaxhQ/s1600/IMG_1256.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3OJ91QDeYxsdt-aUtG-MJp6_kWAg1d1i4j7h73ng5n9c7n_NGS2zu474Z3VveO0fN9RLmQ-yG3-dPUcirxBicN-GEvm55dNyr0Qk0LBqwLVLRGJf0D6ApXe7ggTFX5APbSbaxhQ/s320/IMG_1256.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
friends who <i>know</i> you and know what makes you smile!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigNGJdpxTN4XYCDU2ppy-til1uVKFGp1GwanDy50abv4tnNQlq9aj7lhxmKuZwCYri8sF0zSj77Af88g9XloqkUWOT7rEo5w44hfVcVuqWD0GlrqMGl6QqQgRyWlKH7aafwa41Ug/s1600/IMG_1249.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigNGJdpxTN4XYCDU2ppy-til1uVKFGp1GwanDy50abv4tnNQlq9aj7lhxmKuZwCYri8sF0zSj77Af88g9XloqkUWOT7rEo5w44hfVcVuqWD0GlrqMGl6QqQgRyWlKH7aafwa41Ug/s320/IMG_1249.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
quiet mornings, friendships, and the simple pleasures of things like pumpkin pie bagels. Who knew those could make me so happy?<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuoqyb8cIrKGnl8zKeHmyS5hDtTeugPibGxeR2OAVVNyX8xm23unAKtlqj78Mtvuwl1ji3lmDscXITtPHI5Fk7_WLHHDgrMUDtBC6LhSogbB_O9tfHC0wAGoTn5-pj0Rt1ag94pA/s1600/IMG_0640.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuoqyb8cIrKGnl8zKeHmyS5hDtTeugPibGxeR2OAVVNyX8xm23unAKtlqj78Mtvuwl1ji3lmDscXITtPHI5Fk7_WLHHDgrMUDtBC6LhSogbB_O9tfHC0wAGoTn5-pj0Rt1ag94pA/s320/IMG_0640.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
babies who love each other and are so sweet.<br />
(and who are currently chasing each other in my curtains! Their giggles are more than I deserve in this life. Ah, Lord! Thank you!)</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It's the simple things in life and sometimes I forget that. Don't be afraid to knock me upside the head next time I forget. :P</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
*sigh* well, if I never learn to be content, at least maybe I'll learn to be thankful while yearning for the things yet to come!</div>
Joanna Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02568835279054666132noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15221347.post-31670538703141974182012-10-05T10:52:00.002-07:002012-10-05T10:52:33.002-07:00the 7 week itch<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAiep3U3LSqFsC24mkp7GkyGMEmpu0fAVUc8xgeJYAXiQQ86DHdP-7Q33BP_N5omwEfRBRT82G2uB-CJ6cWbVSzLYIQI0ONqFGDsEA94dd1Rmn76UG8OBfOOXT7SNrTX4cqy4AmA/s1600/IMG_1287.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAiep3U3LSqFsC24mkp7GkyGMEmpu0fAVUc8xgeJYAXiQQ86DHdP-7Q33BP_N5omwEfRBRT82G2uB-CJ6cWbVSzLYIQI0ONqFGDsEA94dd1Rmn76UG8OBfOOXT7SNrTX4cqy4AmA/s320/IMG_1287.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
I've heard reports that a lot of couples after seven years of marriage feel an "itch" to get out and experience something (and sadly sometimes someone) new. <br />
<br />
Well, this has nothing to do with marriage but I definitely get the itch. And even more unfortunate it's probably more like a seven week itch. Every so often I get this claustrophobic feeling that everything is closing in around me. I start purging from my closet, my desktop, my recipes.... everything! Everything must go! I'm like a liquidation sale, I suppose.<br />
<br />
It's happening again. I am feeling so claustrophobic in life right now. I feel a bit stuck in life, in my walk with the Lord, in my closet, in my personal space, in cooking, etc.<br />
<br />
Can I be honest about something? I feel like I need to come clean. At the beginning of the year, I came out with my word for the year, "contentment"... and although I definitely need work on this word (read above again if you disagree) I chose that word thinking that God would move us out of our current situation at the end of spring. New house, new jobs, new.... something!<br />
<br />
So while I chose contentment, I was really thinking, "I want to be happy where I'm at cause it's all gonna change soon."<br />
<br />
And it didn't.<br />
<br />
And that's ok. But now I'm really struggling. This is where the rubber meets the road, per se. Where I'm feeling the itch, have been feeling the itch and I've already rearranged the rearrangement of my furniture, have purged my closet twice in the last three months, and have purchased a new cookbook hoping for some sort of light at the end of the tunnel.<br />
<br />
itch. itch. itch.<br />
<br />
My sister in law says this is because of my upbringing, that I moved around so much as a kid that I can't stand to be in anywhere too long now. Hubs' company says, "this is who you are" because I ranked "change and variety" as a high value.<br />
<br />
Maybe its because things around me are changing. Our neighbors moved two days ago. They told us they were moving, they packed their bags, Hubs helped with heavier items... but then when it came for them to say goodbye, "last box is packed" and actual "see you laters".... do you know what happened?<br />
<br />
They just left.<br />
<br />
Gone. Without so much as a goodbye. Over the course of the last days I've asked Hubs, "Are you SURE they're not coming back?" <br />
<br />
After three years of being neighbors, sharing talks, food, and drinks... they just left. The. End. And I can't help but feel.... itchy!<br />
<br />
Well, I feel a lot of things. Sad... for one thing. After three years that was what our friendship amounted to. Nothing. No goodbyes.<br />
<br />
I think my itch that needs scratching comes from the feeling that perhaps things will be better. If we lived overseas with a close knit community of friends, I KNOW they wouldn't forget to say goodbye to us. For example. I start thinking about how green the grass is on the other side.... and in walks discontentment like an old (but most certainly unwelcomed) friend.<br />
<br />
I'm just feeling discontent with life.... and I don't mean that in a way that says I'm not blessed or I'm not loved. I know I am both. In abundance. I guess I'm feeling things should be different.<br />
<br />
In the meantime, maybe the itch is good. I can downsize our home, donate some gently used items and make room for the girls to be wild and free. So much to be thankful for and content with... even if I feel claustrophobic at times. I suppose its good to evaluate what is from the Lord and what is no longer necessary in life.<br />
<br />
And even though I tried to be content for just five months of the year, God knew that my contentment journey would need deeper digging and longer steps.<br />
<br />
I think I'll choose "adventure" for next year's word. Ha ha! <br />
<br />
How are you doing with your word?<br />
<br />
Here's some posts on my contentment journey:<br />
<a href="http://joannakay.blogspot.com/2012/01/one-word-copycat.html" target="_blank">Here</a><br />
<a href="http://joannakay.blogspot.com/2012/01/i-gulp-took-step.html" target="_blank">Here</a><br />
<a href="http://joannakay.blogspot.com/2012/03/oh-whats-in-word.html" target="_blank">And here</a>Joanna Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02568835279054666132noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15221347.post-34222155165067071272012-09-27T14:05:00.002-07:002012-09-27T14:36:39.880-07:00To my 20s<a href="http://alicematagora.wordpress.com/2012/08/15/farewell-20s/" target="_blank">Originally stolen from this friend here:</a><br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Dear 20s,</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Wow! I can't believe I'm writing this letter and sending you off on a fare-thee-well of your own. It's been amazing to look back and remember the love, laughter, sadness, and <b>life</b> that you gave to me. When I endured my teen years, I think I can say I did some growing but it was mostly physical and I didn't quite know who I was or who I wanted to be so mostly I thrived in my teens because I had loving arms around me to guide me through those years.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
But you, my 20s, my wonderful, beautiful 20s. You were the first years that I really ventured out and made decisions for myself. You were full and abundant and the perfect gift from the perfect One who knew I would need all the ups and downs you had to offer.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I learned so much about myself. I learned that guys make good friends but its better to have girls be your best friend. I learned that I enjoy life more when I am sharing it with someone~ preferably over a cup of something warm and delicious. <b> I learned that passion for a place or people is a good thing but passion for Christ <i>no matter where you are </i>is even better!</b> I learned that I love ice cream more than any other food on this planet and if I could eat it by the gallon tub, I would with no shame! <b> I learned that mountains are hard to climb but they are always worth the view at the top.</b> Always. I learned that sometimes friends and family push you but that's because they love you, believe in you, and are with you. I learned that sometimes friends come and go in and out of your life for seasons at a time but that doesn't mean I love them or they me any less.<br />
<br />
I learned to love. I learned loss. I learned not to throw myself into just any old relationship but to wait for a man to pursue. And he did. I learned that love is scary but it's good. I learned that introverts still like people, they just express their love for people differently. I learned to take criticism and to be hurt but to love that person who was doing their best.<br />
<br />
I learned that I'll probably always prefer jeans and my Iowa sweats from freshmen year and that's okay. I learned that carbs are bad, no wait, they're good. No wait, they're bad. No wait, they're good. No, wait... I learned that everything we eat is made from corn and that dolphins are being tortured in other parts of the world. <b> I learned that I don't really like documentaries because I end up caring too much about things I'm not sure I want to "stake my flag on the hillside" for</b>. I learned what I do want to stake my flag in and how to let others have their own hillsides. I learned to love them anyway cause they love me anyway!<br />
<br />
I learned to live in another country. I learned how to take embarrassment and shake it from my shoulders. I learned that smiling often communicates more than words. I learned that you can love people like family even when they're not technically family. I learned to cook Korean. I learned discomfort. I learned that friendships take work and need to be occasionally "brought into the light" to be checked up on. I learned to celebrate other's successes and be excited for the things that you wish you had yourself. I learned to snowboard!<br />
<br />
I learned to feel lonely. I learned that I hate death and all that it entails. I learned that family is important to me and the passing on of what we have with each other to those who come after us. I learned I am blessed to be a blessing. I learned that I love sitting around kitchen tables sharing stories and memories. I learned I love to bake. I learned that when you're 20 you think you have all the time in the world and nothing bad will ever happen. But then something happens and you realize, sadly, that life is fleeting. I learned though, that sadness is not the end. That depression happens but so does joy! I learned to be depressed and to be scared but not to give up.<br />
<br />
I learned that at the first sound of someone's voice you could immediately feel both love & fear. I learned that some women are gifted with natural mothering instincts and some are grown into their mothering, neither one is better or worse and your baby (babies) won't know that you cried for the first six months of their lives. Probably when they're old enough to understand that, they'll love you so much they won't care except that you were sad.<br />
<br />
I learned that I am often times loud, I say the wrong thing, and I laugh at my own jokes but I'm comfortable with that, because that is who I am and I happen to like who I am. I don't think I could have said that at 20 but it's a new thing God is doing and I like it.<br />
<br /></div>
<div>
Oh, 20s. I'm such a sap that when I woke up yesterday and knew it was my last day in my 20s, I felt sad. Sad to be leaving you. You've been better to me than a friend. You've been teacher, healer, giver, and life to me. I couldn't imagine life without my 20s. <br />
<br />
And guess what? I'm not leaving you behind. You happen to be coming along with me as I start romancing my 30s. I hope you'll be a good friend to my 30s and remind my 30s not to let me be too serious about things. Growing up is good for some people but for me & you, 20s, we gotta stay young, wild and free. None of this settling down for too long, okay? You tell my 30s that we like having adventures!<br />
<br />
So long for now 20s. Thanks for all the memories!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Joanna Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02568835279054666132noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15221347.post-27516142368576511612012-09-26T10:05:00.001-07:002012-09-26T10:05:42.670-07:0030 Random Acts of Wha?!?!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiY8Yvj7F23GfXJ9tS9pHvaq0GQxr405wmgWkmVmkcysYhOjt96TiDzxLB3Urf7gRazlAVvQMohHBA2LQFK45P77FsG1LTI3CdPAKUUxGmzJqjbITE4aqTak10viXMapl8R9op1Pw/s1600/I-am-baker.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiY8Yvj7F23GfXJ9tS9pHvaq0GQxr405wmgWkmVmkcysYhOjt96TiDzxLB3Urf7gRazlAVvQMohHBA2LQFK45P77FsG1LTI3CdPAKUUxGmzJqjbITE4aqTak10viXMapl8R9op1Pw/s320/I-am-baker.jpg" width="267" /></a></div>
<br />
I'm turning the big 3-0 tomorrow. I'm not sure how to feel. I remember when I was a little girl and my friends' sister turned 16 and I thought 16 was so old and mature... and then my brother turned 21 and 21 was so old. And little bit by little bit I joined the "old and mature" and didn't feel any differently. When I was 16, I didn't feel like how I had pictured 16 to feel. And the same with 21, 25, etc. So when I think of turning 30 I just don't know how to feel or act for that matter. Am I supposed to dress differently? Be more mature or act a certain way? Because I haven't done any super changing in my demeanor. I feel, act and lets admit still dress like I did at 21, 25 and 27.<br />
<br />
One of the things I wanted to do was chronicle 30 random acts of kindness celebrating 30 years of life. I thought I'd take all of September to do good deeds around my neighborhood and community, celebrating my birthday each day before the big day.<br />
<br />
And then I realized something about myself.... just because I was doing these awesome kind things to people, it wasn't necessarily making me kinder. It was just making me prouder of myself and my accomplishments. I started making a list of how kind I was and then *poof* I had one of the worst mother/wife/joanna days in my life and I was super unkind and black hearted and seriously almost yelled at a woman in Costco. No, that's not an exaggeration. I. Almost. Yelled (out loud!). At. Her. It was the cherry on top of a bad sundae and it took all my strength to turn around and walk away from her.<br />
<br />
I'd like to tell you what she did and justify myself but here's the thing~ she didn't deserve it. Even if "she did" in my eyes. No one deserves to be publicly (or even privately) belittled.<br />
<br />
So I scrapped my idea of 30 random acts of kindness. I think it's good for people to try to accomplish and even this <a href="http://mixmingleglow.com/blog/?p=1358" target="_blank">lady here and her blog about helping people which inspired me in the first place</a>, it's great for them to do it and to post about it because I believe their hearts are in the right place. But I was being kind with the praises in mind.<br />
<br />
So I am going to go stealth mode on being kind and work on my motivations and heart instead of working on doing noticeably good deeds. And just FYI~ this is mostly for me. I'm not good at doing things "behind the curtain" so if you are than I admire you for that. I prefer to be the star of my show, the solo act.<br />
<br />
But now I see that focusing on the random acts themselves doesn't necessarily change who I am. Instead I need to focus on my heart within and hope that by changing my heart out of that will overflow kindness and goodness.<br />
<br />
So here's to my 30s. Lord willing, years and years of random acts of kindness so random even I'm not aware I'm doing them.Joanna Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02568835279054666132noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15221347.post-83868369825940550972012-09-16T19:31:00.001-07:002012-09-16T19:31:08.813-07:00five years ago<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEACGMvTlhOTmP4Uw8QesMqB8EM8wR1JLVKzmlKOkXFb43FeXsyeOoi5pNcKcm5xT_UZPbKrn4QG7ObeY8JdmCgE-qpGUdkOykgueKS8Ka-Q6E1PdDLDdQ6ZSS3abC6lnVWOYBXA/s1600/IMG_0288.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEACGMvTlhOTmP4Uw8QesMqB8EM8wR1JLVKzmlKOkXFb43FeXsyeOoi5pNcKcm5xT_UZPbKrn4QG7ObeY8JdmCgE-qpGUdkOykgueKS8Ka-Q6E1PdDLDdQ6ZSS3abC6lnVWOYBXA/s400/IMG_0288.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
Five years ago I said "yes" to this handsome man (to date and get to know a bit better) and it's been an awesome adventure ever since. Such fun memories have been and are waiting to be made. I love you Hubs and am so glad you didn't want to be "just friends" even though I am pretty sure that's what you said on the phone... oh, miscommunication. You silly beast.<br />
Hubs, you've been such a faithful and loving "boyfriend" from that day way back when. Thanks for loving me like Christ loves the church, putting up with my shenanigans and listening to me when "I just need to talk"... You're the best!<br />
I love you!<br />
<br />
And I miss my lip ring. :(Joanna Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02568835279054666132noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15221347.post-36753214952594207212012-09-15T13:56:00.000-07:002012-09-15T13:56:47.152-07:00a picnic of sortsDang gina it's hot in California. I'm trying my hardest not to complain because seriously, this weather makes me teary eyed!! It's hotter than hot in our apartment (no ac) and just miserable for the girls and I when we're at home.<br />
<br />
When we get the chance to head out, I literally thank the good Lord for the library and other places that have AC. Thank you Jesus!!<br />
<br />
Today to make a hot day at home less miserable and more fun I decided to throw the rule book out the window (who am I kidding, I rarely follow by the rules, anyway!) and have a "picnic" in front of the fans. :)<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjYQG3HlB2-B7Qe0CJ9QgMQ_T9krP0zAX4bTRmpXXR03O5IDJ7AQGNKevTb8zn4ERLRX6Z_f88RBy_OUh4YMPDu0N9GviH8xe7-xUW6mqVgiO_SpRYRzyx8K8Iapa_G5ytK_K3JQ/s1600/IMG_1207.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjYQG3HlB2-B7Qe0CJ9QgMQ_T9krP0zAX4bTRmpXXR03O5IDJ7AQGNKevTb8zn4ERLRX6Z_f88RBy_OUh4YMPDu0N9GviH8xe7-xUW6mqVgiO_SpRYRzyx8K8Iapa_G5ytK_K3JQ/s320/IMG_1207.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This is our picnic... oatmeal & peas. Two of my girls' favorites, no joke!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
When I do "picnics" like this it usually ends up being me... alone on the blanket while the Love Bugs play and drop by for little nibbles every so often. I actually don't mind and I'm not in a hurry cause I have the fan pointed right at me. So I know that even though the temperature makes me crabby, if I can just stay cool inside and out, I'll be a better mommy for my Love Bugs. And who cares anyway, if they're in their seats. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSaQVYsKDgSEnv3gJVYwU2KoSLRL22BeA8Z4lJrvKEndON8OYJdul9zKvSm7Bc-B4wtmwgH3C-TuWCnkXLupgabOJxV31YUbBLhm-T1xvPWKvuts-lPDJlo95cRyHfCJwBWQxzFA/s1600/IMG_1209.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSaQVYsKDgSEnv3gJVYwU2KoSLRL22BeA8Z4lJrvKEndON8OYJdul9zKvSm7Bc-B4wtmwgH3C-TuWCnkXLupgabOJxV31YUbBLhm-T1xvPWKvuts-lPDJlo95cRyHfCJwBWQxzFA/s320/IMG_1209.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
my view. "Come here little buddy! I got yummy food for you!"</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhg69yR6Lt3wXwIIEaTIHXIpXYgStGq7-lHCFhgCu74s5LCUNxQl2-D6UgaBfTeansVImimNHI8OWiBWLDqqvGh_7UPh_WR9WoOgbP7P95hyphenhyphendRPsU9EkJc4fRGOEOqvW9m29Nz21w/s1600/IMG_1211.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhg69yR6Lt3wXwIIEaTIHXIpXYgStGq7-lHCFhgCu74s5LCUNxQl2-D6UgaBfTeansVImimNHI8OWiBWLDqqvGh_7UPh_WR9WoOgbP7P95hyphenhyphendRPsU9EkJc4fRGOEOqvW9m29Nz21w/s320/IMG_1211.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
"all by myseeeeelf, don't wanna be... allll by myself anymore!"</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
....maybe it's the music that's keeping them away? </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPyc5qOnPc2JGXsm62bUTDn3qIqJ93HdxizFpQ5jfvvf3Z0U9DP27Za7KTsEslI8pyhRbcAS391Fp6kmePmO1jeKnVnghLAsJvheU_owJKnb3JO8zup0xXfWYpisbrZHnlngdcHw/s1600/IMG_1212.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPyc5qOnPc2JGXsm62bUTDn3qIqJ93HdxizFpQ5jfvvf3Z0U9DP27Za7KTsEslI8pyhRbcAS391Fp6kmePmO1jeKnVnghLAsJvheU_owJKnb3JO8zup0xXfWYpisbrZHnlngdcHw/s320/IMG_1212.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Well, at least they're eating. Sort of picnics can be fun on sweltering summer/fall days!</div>
Joanna Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02568835279054666132noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15221347.post-64861771018412889872012-09-07T10:06:00.002-07:002012-09-07T10:06:44.225-07:00accessorizing<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWGpFwtoyITIZKuqWgo0N6TLJ5jvth5lEst4pXsGlHm8QW0SnxYndrVOfRrFfCi4q2ih0reeUY1l4p8TSdKQzTbxacroPmPdFWpYbMl7bUR7sI7_BKC9U6HxVlN7mGBjaWoboAhw/s1600/IMG_1164.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWGpFwtoyITIZKuqWgo0N6TLJ5jvth5lEst4pXsGlHm8QW0SnxYndrVOfRrFfCi4q2ih0reeUY1l4p8TSdKQzTbxacroPmPdFWpYbMl7bUR7sI7_BKC9U6HxVlN7mGBjaWoboAhw/s320/IMG_1164.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Sooo I think I may have to get some play accessories...</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjU8pOn_S53q3Q9fhUhIaxS5J-XDwUUsn5TAmWYi3nsxdkSVTQEgngFLLTTQ8UMPtlnvOiY0CSjhTureE8GM6iM4bwJ_HwBmJoX2Ahuw4VUEzfv8MbqgJ7OV5bviyDM_qzMNl8o-A/s1600/IMG_1165.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjU8pOn_S53q3Q9fhUhIaxS5J-XDwUUsn5TAmWYi3nsxdkSVTQEgngFLLTTQ8UMPtlnvOiY0CSjhTureE8GM6iM4bwJ_HwBmJoX2Ahuw4VUEzfv8MbqgJ7OV5bviyDM_qzMNl8o-A/s320/IMG_1165.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
cause diapers, even clean ones can only do so much...</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-UP9PFbxjqFPYD-BATIXd8rUe5oQU9JVqVmgXz8E2V14IG3QOPVRwbW8XRQvMcjfjXvW50bBtb-G8sNcXdcFsUQBBRfyRJWALxGbUmhXU7zo4_yJ9kcdYQFkku6eztUKrivKGMw/s1600/IMG_1166.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-UP9PFbxjqFPYD-BATIXd8rUe5oQU9JVqVmgXz8E2V14IG3QOPVRwbW8XRQvMcjfjXvW50bBtb-G8sNcXdcFsUQBBRfyRJWALxGbUmhXU7zo4_yJ9kcdYQFkku6eztUKrivKGMw/s320/IMG_1166.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Belle</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvz89nQfzyKq0qZGN5oZeACE7Rrr089Z9obpp0d-141cUUXvuh4HVClrF9tpizMU3EdocOx1TYniYhN4AsKdHeWXQ-cpRixr4qEjOJAwx45djCeOb4WGFzapBm3q8vThFduETW-w/s1600/IMG_1167.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvz89nQfzyKq0qZGN5oZeACE7Rrr089Z9obpp0d-141cUUXvuh4HVClrF9tpizMU3EdocOx1TYniYhN4AsKdHeWXQ-cpRixr4qEjOJAwx45djCeOb4WGFzapBm3q8vThFduETW-w/s320/IMG_1167.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Li Li</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpP8EAMLc37329u_D2uPl0FSddXkZ3MDfpQhin0OKe7br1zSI7QGY4dJeVoepBIRWdWhw3F_Q175CRTb778T5CITSfVlVkPsiv615150lpzKUX5JgF2_8ddFJrz7F5xn0TWWyYkw/s1600/IMG_1168.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpP8EAMLc37329u_D2uPl0FSddXkZ3MDfpQhin0OKe7br1zSI7QGY4dJeVoepBIRWdWhw3F_Q175CRTb778T5CITSfVlVkPsiv615150lpzKUX5JgF2_8ddFJrz7F5xn0TWWyYkw/s320/IMG_1168.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
num, num, num</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgA4UWGiX_K2cmbqA7JaU9_GCiJnuanBNR9WjLDisVG0GjZiGXUpWcyT7PSTn74NwTSbjuIgdqr0f5US5acntDqECx1tUQDTCne26o6us4pvxv7KX91xd_7sygIy6y3Vm6GOTV0Q/s1600/IMG_1169.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgA4UWGiX_K2cmbqA7JaU9_GCiJnuanBNR9WjLDisVG0GjZiGXUpWcyT7PSTn74NwTSbjuIgdqr0f5US5acntDqECx1tUQDTCne26o6us4pvxv7KX91xd_7sygIy6y3Vm6GOTV0Q/s320/IMG_1169.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
See Mama? Aren't I pretty?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />Joanna Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02568835279054666132noreply@blogger.com1