Cultivating

the nursery

2012-01-30T13:45:00.000-08:00

I've finally decided to post pictures of the nursery. The nursery may never look like what I want to look like but i kind of feel like it's "now or never" as far as posting pictures goes.

So here it is! The nursery! Where two little darlings sleep and take their naps.

Recently the girls had to be separated (sad) in their beds because one would inevitably crowd out or corner the other one in their sleep. We'd wake up to pitiful little cries of one of our girls calling out to us to rescue her. After so many of those naps/nights we decided to take the plunge. I was hoping they'd just learn to sleep together forever but alas, it was not meant to be.

And we haven't found a crib that is similar to the one we got earlier so we're putting to good use the pack n play!

Narnia inspired wardrobe

So the room is almost always a bit messy and definitely crowded now with the second crib up.

One of my favorite things about the nursery is the "art wall" where art from the girls' older cousins is on display! Thanks L, W, E, & A for your art.

notice the lamp post, another narnia themed piece

a love

2012-01-29T18:19:00.001-08:00

I have tried to instill in my sweet babes a love for books! Coating 'em in sugar probably doesn't hurt!!

Hubs for hubs

2012-01-19T22:13:00.001-08:00

Hubs got these yummy chocolate covered peanuts....

6 months!

2012-01-13T18:05:00.000-08:00

Finally!! A legitmate birthday! ha ha

Six months and going strong!

The doctor was so pleased with them at our last check-up. Apparently they are in the 3-5 percentile for kiddos their age in height and weight but the doctor said they might always be petite since I'm petite. I didn't mention to my doctor that I come from a looong line of petite (and beautiful) women. :)

She said developmentally, though, they are right on target for their age.

Hooray!

We celebrated the big 6 with solid foods. We introduced bananas into their diet and the girls really loved it. They are definitely loving solid foods and eat everything we've given them so far.

To celebrate her half birthday MB decided to "creep" or what is the beginning of crawling. I thought it was pretty funny that I texted my parents and said, "Ooooo we've got a creeper"... then I felt the need to explain to them (and apparently you) that creeping is the wiggling or "army crawl" that happens before crawling.

See the picture above? She's going for the yellow rattle at the top of the picture.

Closer....

Excuse me, sister!

closer....

Got it!!!!

Seriously, I did not help her move. She wiggled her way up the blanket.

Happy Birthday bebes!

I love you both!!

guess who?

2012-01-12T18:19:00.000-08:00

Guess who started sitting up better?

Guess who got brand new booster seats?

Guess who sits up like big girls in their booster seats?

Guess who started solids?

Guess who loves their solids and can't get enough of them?

Looks like we got a couple of bowl lickers in the family! :) I started them this week on chocolate and chicken wings...

just kidding.

i gulp took a step

2012-01-11T09:57:00.000-08:00

When I did the girls' nursery Hubs took one look and said, "How come their room is cooler than ours?" And I had to agree. I had barely touched our room while decorating the house but had spent time, effort, energy and money in all the other rooms. Seriously! I think it's because no one goes up there and we rarely spend time in our bedroom unless we're sleeping. So it has become a hodge podge of furniture and items that have no other home except to be stacked, stored, and put in our room.

That is... until this year. I nominate 2012 to be the year of the master bedroom. And I second that motion. All in favor, say "aye".

"Aye!"

Glad we could agree and come to that decision quickly!

(And yes, I did just do that all by myself. And no, I'm not crazy....)

;)

So here, is said room. A blank canvas waiting to be splashed upon!

See? Hodge podge... even the dreaded blue bookshelf is in my bedroom.

(good memories of it being made? yes! does it work with anything else in my house? no!)

Random piles of rubbish and random pictures. I have no room for all these treasured belongings but can't bear to see them on my dresser any longer.

I. Need. Change.

Okay, so by now you might be wondering if I am already failing at my "word" for 2012, contentment. But I say, no! Actually, changing my bedroom a bit and adding some homey touches here and there enables me to be more content because it is helping me make my home, a home. Instead of nagging Hubs for a new home to grow in, I am content with the one I have but am excited to spruce it up a bit.

So where am I at in the sprucing process?

Well, yesterday I did something for the very first time. I bought paint.

And as soon as I did. I hated it.

Commitment-phobe? Yes! I've always struggled with commitment, except where it really, truly matters~ Hubs~ and then I have absolutely 100% no question about my love for him, but when it comes to things like colors and painting and decorating I can't help but question my sanity.

Especially when I had the paint chosen, mixed up, purchased and Hubs took one look and said, "Oh? Beige?!"

Beige? Seriously. Of course Hubs would question beige because I have never ever in my whole life chosen beige. And just saying that word sends shivers down my spine. It's like eating plain toast for the rest of my life or living in a world of sepia tone forever. Beige?!?

"I've changed my mind," said I to Hubs and he just laughed.

And I just paid for my beige paint.

Cue crying now.

I've never bought paint. I've never chosen my own paint. Except once when my parents let me at 711 Par Drive and I chose turqoise and purple paint to adorn my walls. I loved them and it made me so happy. And when we sold the house my parents apologized and laughed it off to the buyers. I couldn't understand why not everyone would embrace turquoise and purple walls.

Hello?!? It's turqiouse and purple!! What's not to love?

It's not like it's ....*shudder* beige.

Okay, I'll stop being dramatic.

To appease my need for color I'm going to do "splashes" of purple, blue and a little yellow. Like this....

Now here's the fun part. I'm not actually painting my walls... because, I don't want to paint apartment walls just to paint them back to (even worse than beige) white when we leave.

So I've got a plan... a fun plan.

Stay tuned for how I make white walls look cool without painting them and how I use "beige" to do it.

And by the way, Hubs, it's not beige. It's called, "weekend in the country"...

so there!

one of those

2012-01-09T14:28:00.000-08:00

Do you ever have "one of those day" where nothing seems to be going right and you wonder, as my good friend Sarah puts it, if you are starring in your very own Truman Show?

Where nothing seems to be going right, in fact, all the little things about your day which usually flow without a thought, suddenly come unglued and fall at your feet begging for your attention? The kind of day where you hope that you open your newspaper or homepage and read that the latest news headline is screaming about how raw cookie dough is actually a major link to fighting cancer. and losing weight. and fighting evil. And the only way to achieve all of those is by eating unheard of amounts of it. All I need is permission, spoon is ready & poised!

And yes, I said raw cookie dough. It's about time I let you see my weaknesses and flaws.

Friends, its been "one of those days"... and I came on my computer hoping to read about raw cookie dough and instead I am blogging about the hilarity of days gone wrong. Laundry line fell and dragged all my clean white diapers in the dark, not clean, mud. Boo. My daughters are extra needy and want to be held. Yay but hard to clean up mud soiled laundry when holding or shall I correctly say "juggling" two little bebes! Then Hubs comes home, walks past the plant in the hall and announces, "You've got aphids!" Seriously!?! Who has time for aphids? Dinner has to be on the table at some point in the next 12 hours... perferrably the earlier part of those 12 hours. Diapers need to be changed. Laundry needs to be rewashed and then folded! Oh, and that's if I can get a free washer or dryer... and now I have aphids that need killing. Ohhhh those aphids won't know the fury I will unleash on them.

But instead of complaining (I consider the above purely story telling... if I were to go on, then I could be accused of complaining) I am choosing to be thankful.

51. I have laundry. I have multiple loads of multiple outfits for my hubs, bebes and I. We have closets (too) full of clothes and for that I am very thankful. I am thankful for clothes that keep us warm and decent. :)
52. My plants. They breath life into my house and I can't help but smile whenever I water them and tend to them. They truly do brighten up my home and I love having plants indoors.
53. A random cooking magazine arrived at my door with easy to make meals and yummy looking dishes. Perhaps we might try one tonight. Apparently Hubs was chosen as a "target audience" to test out this new magazine. Don't mind if we do!
54. For $20 I received a coffee mug which enables me to "free" coffee the month of January. Granted it was $20 but I'm pretty sure I'll be exceeding that above and beyond.
55. Good books from good friends about imaginary faraway places that I can get "caught up in". I love reading!

Do you ever have "one of those day" and what do you do when you have them?

one word (a copycat)

2012-01-06T12:35:00.000-08:00

I read this blog written beautifully by my friend A and I can not get her thoughts and the "challenge" out of my head. I have been inspired and challenged to focus on one word for the year!

So I chose "content" or "contentment"... it's my hope and prayer that I will exit 2012 more content than I entered it. :) My life is so blessed and I am feeling so thankful to God for the last six months. They were hard months, the hardest I have had in my life, but they were not without reason. In the midst of these months I realized that I would often "escape" by dreaming of a different circumstance.

A great verse on my bedroom mirror to remind me of my theme for the year!

I love to daydream and plan for the future. This is a gift and a blessing, a quality I love about myself but it can also be a huge endurance when I am unable (or unwilling) to live in the here and now.

I daydream, for example, of having a house with a yard that my girls can play in. Now this is not a bad daydream or even an ungodly desire but what is bad is when I become angry with or complain to Hubs about our little home. Sure, it feels tight and even more so with two little ones. Sure, we can hardly imagine having crawlers or walkers in the rooms. And sure, we have literally no idea where we will put our second crib when the day comes....

but those are not good reasons to become discontented. I have a house. A beautiful house within a wonderful complex. We came home from the holidays to four brand new windows and new faucets that our maintanence guy put in for us. :) What a guy! And how great that he did it while we were gone so we didn't have to make arrangements for the girls to go elsewhere to nap. Way to go Patio Gardens!

Anyway, my theme for the year is "contentment" and I am excited to read through the scriptures with my word in the back of my mind. I'm excited for where God is going to lead and what He is going to do. I feel like 2012 is going to be a year of changes!! (not that 2011 wasn't?!?! ha ha)

and on my bathroom mirror

What is your one word?

ing & pictures

2012-01-02T16:49:00.000-08:00

Thanking God for this past year and for strengthening me to walk the path that was laid before me. I pray that I may be found faithful when all is said and done.

Cooking Chinese hot pot tonight for the second time in Denver. Hubs told me, "It makes my heart smile..." to see my brothers embrace a dish that he himself loves so much. We also got my brother hooked on kimchee. Yum! Yum!

Deciding whether or not I want to do "official" New Years Resolutions?

Feeling my heart is full and overflowing after this Christmas season with la familia.

Listening to the chaos that is my niece and nephew in the next room (W is "speaking" Spanish) and

thinking that the girls will be so lonely when it's just the 3 (4) of us back at home again. They've been surrounded by children and not just children but lovelies who want to include them in all the games, hold them constantly and share toys with them.

Daydreaming about changing around my house a bit and planning on decluttering when I get home. I just have to decide if I want to save the boxes (emphases on the pural) for a garage sale or just drop them off at a thrift store. Hmmm??? But I am very excited to make some changes and prepare our home for little crawlers. They're not quite there ...yet. But before I know it they'll be moving like crazy!!

And now for your viewing pleasure... our "Schwang Olympics" team pictures... I just luh-ve these! Some of us got the memo to have "warrior faces" and some of us did not!!

Team Yellow was pretty fierce if I do say so myself!!!

Team Red was a tough competitor! Leni Daye's face makes me laugh! What a sweetie!

Team Green (minus a team member) was a force to be reckoning with!

Team Blue ... well, they were pretty darn cute!

Team Black was ferocious and definitely gave us a run for our money!!

I love my family. We're pretty crazy!

and every mother's child....

2011-12-17T16:32:00.000-08:00

is gonna spy... to see if reindeer really know how to fly!!

Guess who we saw for the first time today? (It was not Miss W's first time, though!!)

The babies were so well behaved and such sweet little darling sitting there with Mr. Claus. I was so proud of them. (Belle on the left, Li Li on the right)

Poor C missed his nap and was not pleased that his Daddy abandoned him at the moment to a stranger. W asked for "silver shoes" C didn't really specify what he wanted and the girls (via W) asked for baby toys!!

Thanks Santa!! We hope you remember us on Christmas Eve!!

5 Months

2011-12-13T20:12:00.000-08:00

Can't believe it's been five months. I say that every month, don't I? Well, it's true.

Today on my brother's birthday the girls turned 5 months.

This month they have been busy...

I now officially have thumb suckers, one belly sleeper (MB) and two very active movers and rollers!!

The girls are loving their rice cereal and oatmeal!!

My little babesters are getting cuter and cuter with every day and they are SO stinkin' funny. They're starting to babble and really start talking!!

We are really loving them. What sweet babies!

Tomorrow they meet two out of three of their Uncles, Aunts and 2/3's of their cousins.

We fly to Denver tomorrow. Let the Christmas celebrating begin!

Yahoo!!

The 3 C's

2011-12-07T13:44:00.000-08:00

I alluded to "the 3 c's" in this post here and wanted to dig deeper into the three different (very general) sins that seem to plague most women. I won't assume that all women struggle with all three of these but in most cases I think you can find a little bit of each of these in a conversation that isn't being guarded.

Take a minute to sit at Starbucks and listen to some women talking... or perhaps you don't even have to eavesdrop on someone else's conversation. I know for me, I don't have to look any further than at myself to find "the 3 c's" being casually tossed about like they were a penny a piece and no harm to anyone. My tongue gets me into so much trouble and before I know it I've complained, compared and competed myself with another person and most often times that person wasn't even present to "rise to the challenge". In thinking and praying over these little c's... I've come to realize several things about them.

First, they are very intricately connected. It's hard to have one and not the other. When I complain about my hair and how awful it is and how I hate the cut and how it makes me look I realized that I am complaining because my hair doesn't look like "so and so's" hair which is always immaculate and never a strand out of place. And to go a step further, the reason I want my hair to look like "so and so's" is so that I could possibly "out-beautify" her and thereby enters in competition. It's easy to see how one leads to another before I've even recognized that I have done one.

Second, "the 3 c's" are a "slippery slope". What I mean by that is observe how easy it is for us as women to get caught up in each of these and often times we don't even know it's happened. Have you ever walked away from a conversation feeling a bit uneasy? I know I have. I have walked away from well-meaning times with my own sisters in Christ and felt a bit... "um, Lord, was that honoring?" brewing in my stomach. I don't even know it's happening as I sit and catch up with some of my girlfriends but later as I am reflecting on my time spent I realize I could have held my tongue more.

Third, at the root of all three of these is a voice saying, "God, what you have given me, whether it be beauty, money, talents, etc. is not enough." Think about it. When you complain, you are saying, "I don't like this circumstance." When you compare, it's "why didn't you make me this way" and when you compete you say to God, "this person is better than me".... it's an insatiable monster that will not only eat you up but convince you to "eat up" those who are around you. As I write this I wanna ask, "Why do I give others the permission to tell me how much I am worth?" and it's true. We give others the permission to tell us if we are beautiful, successful or worth very much.

Last, you are not the master of these three though you think you are... they are and will always be the master of you until you take them to Jesus. For instance, I don't like the verse in James that says that "no man" can tame their tongue because I like to think I can tame my tongue. I like to think I can stop gossiping, putting down other women and degrading my own self. I like to think that I can but in reality, I can't. We are no longer slaves to sin, the bible tells us, and yet, we allow ourselves to be slaves when we give in to these petty three c's. There is no life in speaking and believing these three c's. Whether we believe and speak them about others or ourselves. No life. There can only be death. Death of friendships, death of us finding our true identity and death to a fruitful spiritual life.

I can easily relate to James' words about how "with (the tongue) we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God". Whenever I read that I cry out, "Really God?!? Is there no hope for someone like me?" and of course there is hope.

Our hope comes from the Bible which teaches us that God shows His love for us that while we were still sinners Christ, God's son, died for us. (Romans 5:8) There is nothing we can do, now or ever, to earn this gift which God freely gives us. Yet, while we are in this life we should not waste this gift of grace but use it to continue on towards righteousness and holiness. So for example, even though I have trouble with these "3 c's" I should not shrug my shoulders and say, "Well, there's grace to cover that" and continue on my merry way. No, I should strive to live a godly life and strive to rid my habits of such sinful tendencies. I love Philippians 1:6 which says, "And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion..." and Proverbs 24:16, "for the righteous falls seven times and rises again...". It's nice to know that even the righteous fall but the key is to get up and "rise above" that which would bring us down.

Hope.

the heart of it

2011-12-01T15:20:00.000-08:00

This picture represents simplicity to me. The simple life. I long for a simple life but not only that but thankfulness in a simple life. I wish I was more simplistic in my desires and values. But I do desire recognition and acclamation. Lord, help me to desire the things you do.
Do you know how easy it is for me to complain?

Ugh. Why is it so easy to complain?

Is there anyone here with me? Sitting like Jonah under a tree that is wilted, pouting?!?

Anyone? Anyone?

I was thinking about my heart and how easy it is to think of all that isn't where I want it to be and mourn the loss of things that I used to count so dear to me. Like time! And independence! And a waistline.

ha ha

No seriously.

But then I stopped because I am realizing that my girls are starting to watch me. I mean, really focus in on me and watch me. Oh, I love how they turn to me after nursing, milk dripping down their chubby little chins, and they smile up at me. Melts my rotten complainy heart right down to little complainy pieces.

I realized that my attitude and outlook on life will be passed on to my girls. Either they will "itch" to get out of my presence because complainers are no fun to be around or worse, they'll become complainers themselves.

And can I just tell y'all something?!

Complaining is one of the ugliest things. Seriously, it can strip a woman of all her beauty. I know this, I warn other women about it and yet, it is one of my faults.

I learned about the three c's in college that plague women:

comparison

competition

complaining

and I can't help but think of those lessons learned even now.

Sooo... whats a girl to do about her complaining heart?

Well, I decided to continue counting my blessings and putting them on my blog so that I would be somewhat accountable to whoever is reading this.

Along time ago I read a book that challenged me and encouraged me to live fully right where I am in life. The challenge is to try and find 1000 things you are thankful for in your every day life. I loved this book and loved the challenge but I will confess I am super bad at this. Not bad at being thankful in a "I'm-trying-to-be-modest-and-make-you-feel-good" kind of bad. I am sincerely bad at being thankful. I have to think and think and think about what I am thankful for in my every day life. It's humbling to say the least because sometimes Hubs will ask me and I will stammer out some sort of response while he is naturally more observant of all that we are blessed with. So I started my adventure down this path but never developed the habit and so I soon forgot to keep up with it.

Well, starting today I am going to continue on with counting my thousand gifts... and don't worry. I'm only on #46, so you didn't miss much. And while I'm thinking about lessons learned I think I'll finish december off with some of my thoughts about the 3 c's and encourage you ladies to not fall into a rut as I have often done. We need to proactively fight off the things that diminish our beauty and threaten our joy.

If you want more info about the book (a definite must-read and a good gift for someone in your life this holiday season) click here.

So without further ado, I give you some of my blessings...

46. the tree trimmers who come and make our apartment complex look beautiful and let more sunlight in onto our patio and into our house to keep it warm.

47. babies who sleep at night, allowing me and hubs some much needed rest

48. snail mail which warms my heart from friends and family who I am far from

49. the kind lady at the grocery store who helped me juggle a double stroller, two crying babies, half of my grocery list (oh well, i guess i'll have to get the other half later), my credit card and shopping bag. Super thankful for her kindness and patience with me. (my first time out alone and my excursion lasted about 2 minutes before baby 1 melted down) :P

50. beautiful flowers from a wonderful man I like to call Hubs. *sigh*

the best medicine

2011-11-15T12:19:00.000-08:00

I have officially become that woman... You know, that crazy woman you see muttering to herself dragging a shopping cart down the sidewalk. Ai yai yai! Let me explain...
First, I haven't showered in 2-3 days. I can't really remember when I showered last time but that's ok, I don't even know for sure what day it is. It isn't entirely my fault that I haven't showered because our piping is busted again and so we had Quinn the maintenance man come over to fix our leaking pipes. Did I mention the shower was leaking into our pantry? Yeah, not the best situation and he could have fixed it late last night but alas, sleeping babies wins over fixing (cutting) pipes and mommy taking a shower.
So he agreed to come today and while he was here I decided to go grocery shopping. While out I was thoroughly enjoying myself. I even purchased a peppermint mocha because I was "out" and the girls were (hopefully) sleeping peacefully at home with Hubs. The sun was shining and I was feeling pretty good... the best I've felt in a long time. It's been too long since I've felt ambitious or even like myself but today was a small glimpse of me feeling more like me.
I was walking up and down aisles, filling my shopping cart, drinking my latte and daydreaming about all the delicious dishes I was going to make. I love feeling like myself. I have high hopes that I'll be in the kitchen more now that I'm starting to feel better. There I was, checking out, when I realized I had filled four pretty big bags and had a ten pound of potatoes on top of that (i know, what am i going to do with ten pounds of potatoes? i have no idea but like I said, ambitious and it was cheaper to buy in bulk... yeesh!) so I wondered how I was going to get all that stuff home since I didn't have the car.
Hmmmm... thought I, "I'll just walk the cart two blocks to my house and then return the cart." So I was strolling down the sidewalk and out of the parking lot when all of a sudden I felt it stop. I looked down and the wheels had turned sideways....
...and my heart filled with dread. I was on the phone with my girl Jen when I realized. Ohmygosh, the wheels.... they won't go past a certain point. No problem, thought I, I'll just return the cart to the store and take the bags home.
Ohhhh Joanna. If only.
Because as I tried to turn the cart around I realized the wheels had actually LOCKED and couldn't be unlocked. So I wrestled the cart back up on the sidewalk and lovingly told Jen, "Gotta go! My wheels! I gotta call Hubs" then proceeded to call Hubs. Not once but three times while the lovely people eating in Panda Express watched me dragging the cart up onto the sidewalk, clutching the phone in between my ear and my shoulder and muttering to myself about stupid college students who steal shopping carts in our area.
I explained to Hubs my predicament and he...laughed at me. What were we to do? I was literally a block from my home but he was with the girls. Would Quinn the maintenance man watch our girls who were sleeping and didn't need anything while Hubs ran over to rescue me from the judging eyes at Panda Express? And yes for all you worried mamas, we know our maintenance man and trust him and again literally a block away I was waiting... so Hubs runs over with the little "go cart" thing that Quinn loaned him to rescue me.
And rescue me he did.
"Oh wait, Hubs" said I at this point, "I forgot dried mustard at the store". So I ran back to the store, told someone what I had done with their cart (see I am a nice person. I was gonna return it, I promise) and proceeded to get my mustard and get in line. I got up to check-out, forgot I had put my wallet in the bags which were now at home with Hubs, put the mustard down and just walked out the store.

I really shouldn't be allowed outside by myself yet.

oh for grace

2011-11-14T12:15:00.000-08:00

'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to take Him at His Word;
Just to rest upon His promise,
And to know, “Thus saith the Lord!”

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er;
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
Oh, for grace to trust Him more!

Oh, how sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to trust His cleansing blood;
And in simple faith to plunge me
’Neath the healing, cleansing flood!

Yes, ’tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just from sin and self to cease;
Just from Jesus simply taking
Life and rest, and joy and peace.

I’m so glad I learned to trust Thee,
Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend;
And I know that Thou art with me,
Wilt be with me to the end.

4 Months Old

2011-11-13T16:59:00.000-08:00

I can't resist these pants, even though they are a tad bit too big for the girls. They are just so cute with ruffles on their bottoms. They're very Dr. Seuss-esque and Dr. Seuss is very fashion forward in our home these days. :)

(Belly B & Li Li)
Happy 4 months to my beautiful daughters.

(Li Li)

To celebrate we tried some rice cereal... it was overall a small step forward. The girls have had a wonderful month. We're still learning about their habits and preferences. They're getting so close to rolling over and have gone back to breastfeeding. After 2 1/2 months of pumping milk and then bottle feeding I decided I had had enough of pumping and pumping and pumping. It was all I ever did. No bueno! The best way to describe it was how my sister put it when she said I was basically bottle feeding and breastfeeding.

So we gave breastfeeding one more try since the girls are older and could (Lord willing) latch on better. And they did! Praise God! Feeding the girls this way saves me oodles of time and so long to the pump. I will only be using you for girls nights out.

Lots of small steps this month but Lord willing they all add up...

honest motherhood

2011-11-01T19:39:00.000-07:00

Motherhood is different than I was expecting. I'm not sure what I was expecting but I just know that becoming a mother has knocked the wind out of me and I am barely getting back on my feet again.

I didn't think I would feel so emotionally raw for so long. I still struggle with emotions and don't know what to do with them after so long. I guess I thought I would have a few rough days or weeks and then bounce back to my normal, upbeat and crazy self. But my normal, upbeat and crazy self has stayed in hibernation and I am left with this weepy pessimistic person who has replaced her.

I didn't expect to be who I am today. I'm not sure if this is a "new" me or if this is just the me that is in transition. I know I may never get back to my "old" self. I know a lot has changed; some forever and some just for now but I am still slowly adjusting.

I still have sad days. Days where I feel lonely and confused about life. The highlight of my days are when my daughters smile at me and they seem to tell me, "Mama, everything's gonna be alright" and I realize that I am learning from my girls and not just them from me.

I didn't expect to be so homesick. Holding my girls makes me think of my Grandmothers holding their babies and my mother holding my brothers and I. I think about my mother a lot as I mother.

I think a lot about God and how He parents and Fathers us. I wonder about Him a lot in the little things in my days... like when I pick my girls up from their naps and they have tears (real tears) in their eyes and down their cheeks because I took too long to come to them and I wonder, "Does God see our real tears, when we cry & feel like He has taken too long and feel sad like I feel sad for my girls?" I know their napping is for their best and I am giving them what is best, even if it makes them cry... and I hear them and I know they just need to learn to go back to sleep because sleeping is what is best. So I'm giving them what's best even when they cry and they want me to come to them.... is that like what God is doing when I cry and I wonder where He is in all of this confusion.

I think about God a lot in the moments. My quiet times may be short and scatter-brained and sometimes I spend half of the time thinking of my laundry list of to-dos but it's the other moments of time, when I'm not necessarily sitting with a bible or a journal in my lap but holding a baby with her bottle or wiping snot from a nose or drool from that stubborn part of the chin that melts into the neck and everything from drool to lint gets caught in. It's in those moments that I think about God and I don't have to wonder if He loves me....

I just know He does. Even when I'm crying, sad and confused. I just know He does.

three. months. later.

2011-10-14T11:20:00.000-07:00

(Annalie and Maribelle)

I can hardly believe it's been three months.

Part of me wants to say, "only three months" but it has truly flown by.

Maribelle and Annalie or Belle and Li Li are truly a blessing in our lives. I can't imagine my life without them and I don't even want to try.

This month we spent the entire time in Illinois with my family getting some r&r and help with the girls. It's been such a HUGE blessing that I thank God for every day and tell Him how undeserving I am to have had it. It's not quite over though we are in the final week and a half.

It's going to be crazy going home to California. I know I will still need lots of help because it's quite exhausting caring for them. We want to get to a place where Hubs isn't Mr. Mom any longer but right now that is a role he is in.

If you want to help us out and are in the area, let me know. I could use help every day!

This month the girls discovered their hands, love to suck on them and are soooo close to getting their thumbs. They are talking and interacting more which is so much fun. They smile and love when you coo back at them. They're little flirts with their Daddy and their Grandpa but they're not too scared of strangers. They'll flash you a smile if you're good to them.

They've started sleeping through the night (10:30-7AM ish) sporadically and actually not the same night. ha ha

Maribelle slept through the night for the first time on October 9th (yes, I remember! I was thrilled) and then again the next night but Annalie didn't. Then Maribelle and Annalie both woke up together the 11th. Both girls slept through the night 12th but that was because we had a long day traveling to visit family and then Annalie slept through the night last night (13th) but not Maribelle.

Small steps, I guess.

But I'm thankful for any rest we can get.

This month I've officially thrown out "the book" which is to say that struggling to get my girls to follow a book and do what the book says wasn't working and was stressing me out. I'm realizing that all advice from books and people must be taken, evaluated to what I think is best and then either discarded or tried. And if something doesn't work, then "cest le vie"!

I need to stress less and enjoy more. This will be easier when I have more rest in my daily life but for now I am reminded constantly that stress is no good!!

(Belle and Li Li)

Please continue to pray for us and pray for my transition back to California.

What sweet little babies! My heart melts!

questions

2011-10-08T11:00:00.000-07:00

Jesus said to them, "I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger; and whoever believes in me shall never thirst... This is the bread that came down from heaven, not as the fathers ate and died. Whoever feeds on this bread will live forever."

John 6: 35, 58

What does it look like to "come to" Jesus?

Is it getting a good quiet time in or is there more to it than that? Is it physical? Is it spiritual or is it both? Can you have something on your heart or is it better to be open?

Can you be surrendered to His will but also have a question you want answered?

Can I be open to any outcome?

What does it mean to no longer hunger? And for what do I hunger for? Have I ever felt satisfied? Is there a satisfaction this side of heaven? Do I come to you, hungry, longing? Or do I come to you already full?

Am I longing for the wrong desire? Am I longing to feel full rather than to feel You?

I remember feeling lost after the season ended so long ago and how it's been hard to regain a passion and vision since then. Is that because the season was my desire and my longing instead of You?

I will never feel lost or unsettled if I long for and find my satisfaction in You...

eucharisteo

2011-09-30T09:32:00.000-07:00

Well, I got close... I started the list on my birthday and worked on it till now... not too shabby for a mama of two! Just a couple days late. :)

the new list is one I can easily finish today *hopefully*.... it won't take me all year to complete it. I'm hoping to chop away at it between feedings, diaper changes and naps

the 29 things i am most thankful for... (in no particular order)

1. Hubs. I can't imagine doing life without my best friend by my side. I can't imagine raising our daughters without this man next to me encouraging and challenging me. We've tested some rough waters these last two and a half months. I wasn't prepared for how unstable I would be emotionally after delivering our daughters and Hubs just never waivered in his support for me. He has sacrificed for me time and time again the past two years and especially the past two months. I really believe he is my "better half". We've been tested in our patience and understanding towards one another yet, I'm never afraid to approach my husband and express my heart. He is a safe place for me to be myself. I love him more today than ever before.

2. my daughters. They are so full of life and yet, I am just getting to know them. There is so much to discover about each of them and experience with them. I love that they are mine and I get to spend my life learning about them. They are the most precious gift I have been entrusted with.

3. my mother. I can't express to you how much I love and appreciate my mother. She has held me and comforted me through many tearful moments in these 29 years. She has rarely missed an event in my life that I would deem "important" and has always stood on the sidelines cheering me on towards my hopes and dreams. I have never loved her or appreciated her more than I do after having my own daughters. It makes me want to apologize, throw my arms around her neck and thank her for the sacrificial love she poured onto me and my brothers. Seriously, mothers work hard and receive very little thanks. I'm not saying that because I'm a Mom. I'm saying it because I know realize how much my mother has done for me... even after two months. It's hard work!

4. my dad. I love watching my father love his grandbabies. It warms my very heart to see them respond to him and to know that they are getting their "love cups" filled by the man I love and admire so ardently. He challenges my thinking, encourages my learning and supports my dreams and desires fully. He is such a great man and I appreciate him.

5. my brothers and my sister-in-laws. i'm beyond thankful for the family God has given me and the way that they have reached out to me (long distance) during my life. I have always been supported and encouraged to live life to the fullest from my brothers and their wives. In fact, I have a box of letters my brothers had written to me while we were growing up. I was still at home and they were off on their many adventures in college or the Air Force. I have a huge respect for and admiration as well for my brothers who are godly men with protective hearts. They have always loved me to the fullest and given me a platform to jump from. On all my adventures in life, I knew that I was able to do those because my brothers had gone before me paving the way so that I could follow and then go beyond what they had done. I always knew I would have a home with my brothers and a place where I would be accepted. My sister-in-laws have become real sisters to me and have encouraged me to become the woman, mother and wife that I am. I have enjoyed texts, skype and phone calls throughout these years to talk and relate with one another on a deep level. I can't imagine my brothers without their wives nor my life without my sisters.

6. my nieces and my nephews. laughter shared, chubby hands being held, milky mustaches, giggles, questions asked, dirty faces... these are some of the precious memories and moments I've shared with my nieces and nephews. From the moment I became an aunt~ a proud moment for me since it's my only natural delivery experience to date (not my own, but i was there)~ I knew that there was almost nothing better (i imagined and now know that becoming a mother is much better). being an auntie has been a thrill. I've laughed harder than ever before and thought about life in new ways as little ones ask me questions I'd never thought of. Now that they are getting older I am also receiving advice. For instance, today my sweet Waveland advised me on the type of cake I should have and what it should look like. I can't wait to continue learning from and passing on my own life's experiences to my sweet nieces and nephews. I am also grateful that my children will have such awesome cousins to play with and learn from as well.

7. this might seem random but here goes~ I am honestly very very thankful that I live in a country where I was able to deliver my daughters in a healthy way. 50 years ago (or maybe not even that long ago) I would not have been able to deliver my daughters via a c-section and there could have been many many complications with their delivery and their health. God is sovereign and as much as people like to have opinions about c-sections (don't worry, I was one of them. Remember? I prayed and prayed and prayed that I would NOT have one) I am now thankful that I live in a country where they are available if you should need/want one. One thing delivering taught me? Not to form opinions or judgements on what people choose/don't choose.... sometimes you don't have any options and every person's story is different.

ok, i gotta make this quicker or i'll never finish...

8. friends who brought us meals when we weren't functioning the first two months of baby life.

9. texts from LMSN who kept me going when I was struggling and feeling alone.

10. my doctor who saw me as more than just a patient

11. the friend who came to see me and set aside time each week to serve me. (I will take you up on it, soon, I promise!)

12. little moments I've been given to "take time for myself"

13. other twin mommys

14. JK and all the texts I sent her way with multiple multiple questions (get it? ha ha)

15. the Word and how it has met me in the quick 5 minutes I have to read here and there

16. being able to provide food for my babies

17. the warmth of a fireplace on a chilly fall day

18. getting to experience a midwestern fall

19. all the women who shared their own struggles and hard lessons learned

20. pumpkin spice lattes... is it bad that i have one almost every day? eek!

21. LT and all the bottle questions she answered. I'm also very thankful for the way you and your hubby have loved on my little girls. Thanks for already babysitting once and doing it with excitement.

22. warm showers, blow dried hair, and a little dab of make-up.... sometimes it's nice just to feel like a woman again and not have spit-up or poop on me for an hour.

23. salvation, grace and the knowledge that I will never be perfect but that's exactly the way I am accepted and expected to be.

24. hot coffee with my bible and journal in the mornings... hope to etch out some time like that again someday

25. family time, grace from our npo that we needed to focus on family first and adjust to life... no pressure to perform for them or get back in the grind before we were ready...

26. freedom to cry and be myself with so many people

27. fall leaves, nature, a slower pace to breath deep and let my shoulders release their tension

28. tender mid-night feedings. part of me wants these to go away and wants my daughters to sleep through the night, but another part of me enjoys holding them and having a quiet moment of "just us"

29. especially for the Lord and the way He has shown me how I am never alone nor will I be. He continues to meet with me and speak to me through His Word and through others encouragement. He has given me identity when I felt lost and given me purpose and desire in the midst of wandering/wondering if I would ever meet with Him passionately again. Don't ever take for granted if you have the time to sit for an hour or more and meet with God. It might not always be so.

the. list.

2011-09-26T10:56:00.000-07:00

About a year ago, I dreamed up and asked close friends for ideas to formalize a list.

the. list. thee list.

The list was to challenge me out of my comfort zone and into trying new things. I enjoyed tackling many things on my list and didn't even get close to others. It was a good year and I am so thankful I tried some new things. I tried a new cookbook and realized though new recipes are good, sometimes the goldie oldies are better. There's a reason why they are your favorites... so here are my excuses... i mean, my thoughts on the list and look out for tomorrow... a new list of sorts will be appearing (if I have time and if not tomorrow, soon!).

1. Write more letters and less emails

I think I did this. I definitely wrote a ton of letters. Not sure if they outnumbered my emails but I tried to send handwritten letters to people more often.

2. Take a floral arrangement class
3. Take a writing class

Instead of these two classes, Hubs surprised me with the gift of a sewing class. LOVED IT and look forward to taking another one soon.

4. Surf more frequently

Yeah, didn't even get close to this one. I don't think I even surfed once after setting this as a goal. Cest le vie!

*5. Buy a drink/groceries for person behind you in line

This is one I want to do more and make it a habit of sorts. I love doing this.

6. Deep sea fish

Nope. I got close to completing this one but was advised not to try it while pregnant. If I got seasick, there was nowhere to go and no way to avoid it for the eight hours on the boat. Boo. Still a lifelong goal of mine.

7. Write a children's book

Still a goal. Hoping to do this someday. I daydream about my future book, what the story will be, what will happen....

8. Go sailing

Nope, another lifelong goal. Someday.

9. Go to another new country

Nope.

10. Visit a Redwood forest

Nope. Maybe this year?

11. Try a new recipe each week

I got really close. I love trying new recipes. Once a week is a bit ambitious for me but it's fun to keep things fresh in the kitchen.

**12. Work through a cookbook**

Yup, tried this one and was disappointed with my cookbook choice. If I try this one again I'll research my cookbook choice more thoroughly.

*13. Small gift for a neighbor

Love Roger and Alicia our neighbors. Hope to continue getting to know them and gifting them with little goodies from our kitchen.

14. Go on more nature walks

I went on more walks.... in the naturous neighborhood behind ours in LB. Does that count?

15. Get all dressed up and eat at a fancy restaurant

Shame on Hubs and I for not doing this.

*16. Write an article for a magazine

Submitted an article/story to a magazine... did not get published. I'm considering this completed.

*17. Read "My Life in France"

Fabulous book

18. take a cross country road trip

With gas prices as high as they are, I could not convince Hubs to even seriously consider this. Though we always play with the idea and hopefully can accomplish this someday. I think it would be extraordinary. It might have to wait till the kiddos are older now. I can't imagine pulling over every 3 hours to feed.

19. climb a 14-er w/ family

Always, ALWAYS a goal of mine.

20. fun exercise every day

Spinning, pilates, yoga, walking and now pushing a stroller... I'd say I had a lot of fun working out this year.

21. finish Malcolm

Poor "Letters to Malcolm"... you continue to sit by my bedside.

*22. Go kayaking

Completed with Hubs for our two year anniversary. Woo hoo!!

*23. Host more dinner parties

Had some fun people over for dinner parties. Completed.

24. Get a tattoo

Za nen or in english, too bad. I'd still like to get a tattoo but we'll have to wait and see.

*25. Develop my sewing/crocheting more

Took the sewing class and worked on a couple crocheting projects. Was it this year I tackled mittens? I can't remember. But I sure do love to crochet.

26. Write and memorize 28 verses

Another lifelong goal.

27. Jordan's suggestion

This suggestion was "Send flowers to Mom more often" and I had a lot of fun sending flowers to my mom sporadically throughout the year. For no reason but just to say "I love you"... another lifelong goal I want to accomplish and keep up with. Hmmm I should go get flowers...

*28. Becca's suggestion

This was "get pregnant" and I think I did this one with gusto. Twins!?! I'm giving this one a double completed!!

It was fun to have the list but I'm also glad to be done. We'll see how ambitious I am with this next year. I might make my next list more along the lines of "shower", "clip your fingernails" "change diapers" "take a nap" etc. Ha ha!! How life has changed so much more for the better but change nonetheless.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have babies that need to be fed and loved on.

four years ago

2011-09-16T14:30:00.000-07:00

four years ago a boy walked into my life and made me feel different from any other boy in the whole world. i came home from japan and told my mom & sister-in-law, "I met a boy"... never before had a boy had such an affect on me and I was completely smitten.

I liked him almost right away and hoped that he felt the same way.

and he did.

september 16 he asked me to be his girlfriend.

What precious memories and what an awesome journey this has been.

then september 6 2009 we got married and we just celebrated our two year anniversary.

I love you Hubs.

Hubs gave me the best gift ever... my daughters.

2 months and a day change

2011-09-14T17:48:00.000-07:00

I am the mother of two month old twins.... where has the time gone?

Oh yeah, in late night feedings, pumping every three hours, bottles, dirty diapers, kisses right on the lips, crusty drool on their sweet cheeks and so many other sweet moments.

I have been writing a blog in my head for several days, weeks... but always starting over and not quite sure what to say. I know that we are all being transformed into the likeness of Christ more and more every day but these past months I feel like the transformation has become more physical, more tangible than I've ever known it to be in the past.

I am being changed. Or I am already changed and I'm catching up to the change... either way it's good.

I am a mother. I am a mother to twins and I love it.

LOVE IT!!

I would never trade this change, these moments, the sleeplessness for anything. Oh, sure! I wish I could get more sleep. But I know that's coming... I know that soon my girls will grow out of their clothes/diapers and I'll be in the next size and then they'll eat more and sleep more and before I know it I'll miss these sweet snuggles.

It hasn't always been this way though. I've struggled and I am sure there will be plenty of struggles ahead. I want to be honest with you because I have been ministered to by others who have shared their hard transitions into motherhood and yet, I'm trying to find the balance of "how much" to share.

So until I can find the balance just know that I'm here and I'm excited to get back to writing down my thoughts, experiences and OF COURSE providing lots of pictures of my little sugar britches!

Britches'?!?

Hmmm...

hard to believe

2011-08-13T21:31:00.000-07:00

Can't hardly believe my sweet babies are a month already...

Aslan spending time with Maribelle and Annalie (r-l)

for my daughters

2011-08-06T19:54:00.001-07:00

My dearest daughters, I could never fully express to you the joy, the wonder and the total dependence on the Lord you have brought to my life. From the day we first learned about your existence your Daddy and I would pause, give thanks to God and long with our whole hearts to meet you both. We often wondered what the two of you would look like, how you would act and how we would provide for you.

From the first day you have been an answer to prayer. Mommy prayed that she would get pregnant before her and Daddy's big move to Japan. She wanted to have her first baby (little did she know it would be babies) in America so that she could share her experience and the first days with family. Growing up she had always admired the way her Grandparents sisters and brothers had gathered regularly and stayed together as a source of encouragement and friendship. Mommy longed for this encouragement and friendship for you two. To know and to feel the love of a family that prays for each other, checks in with and just has fun with one another. As Mommy's Great Grandma would tell her children "stick together" so I am encouraging and telling you. Stick together, be each other's biggest fans, love one another... and don't forget to have a lot of fun with each other.

On July 12th, your Daddy and I went to the doctor's for a regular check-up. I was feeling pretty miserable because I was stretched to what I thought was "the limits" and had started swelling about a month prior. When I stepped on the scale I was shocked to learn I had gained nine pounds in one week because of the swelling and I also had higher blood pressure from all of the fluid that was remaining in my lower half. My body screamed, "I'm done." but God had not opened the door yet.

I met with my favorite doctor, Dr. Noesen and he teased me that I had "mega-swelling". Even though I was miserable and cried a lot I was thankful that the doctor said I was looking healthy.

July 12th I journaled

I am thankful today!

You are good, God. Thank You for helping my body through this time. I am thankful for You and the way You know me better than anyone else! Thank You for my pregnancy, for the health of my twin girls and good doctors. Thank You for an ability to laugh at my enormous belly, my swollen body and my aching back! I know that laughter is a gift from You!

Thank You!

Later that night, your Daddy and I were watching t.v. in our room. Since I put myself on bed rest (I was in no mood to be up and on my feet) Daddy had moved the t.v. up to our room so that I could watch t.v. during the day and pass the time. It wasn't my favorite thing to do but it helped me to relax.

At 11:30PM we said goodnight and went to bed. I had a really bad headache but imagined I was just tired and it would soon go away with sleep.

By 3:30AM I still had my headache and was not able to sleep.

"Great," thought I sarcastically, "now my brain is swelling!!"

I was nervous though that something was wrong and my body was SO uncomfortable. I told your Daddy I was going to call the doctor. Dr. Endo was on call and she told me to come into the hospital because they didn't want to take any risks with twins.

When we arrived at the hospital, Daddy and I waited while the nurse checked my vitals. I was having some pain and thought it was Baby B pushing on me from her position horizontally laying across my ribs. The nurse checked and said, "Nope! Those are contractions!" I had been having contractions for who knows how long but I always thought it was you or your sister pushing on me. My stomach was so tight that I never really knew what was making me hurt.

The nurse called Dr. Endo and at 4-4:30AM came back to our room with the news, "Dr. Endo reserved a room and we're going to prep you for a c-section."

The doctors decided to go ahead with a c-section because I was already advancing with contractions and the pressure of my swelling was giving me a painful headache. Isn't this funny, my sweet daughters? This was certainly not the way I imagined going into labor, but then again, this whole pregnancy had been one adventure after another so why have a "by the book" labor?

Although they began to prep me for a c-section I asked Dr. Endo if she would do one last ultrasound to make sure Baby A (Annalie) hadn't flipped head down. If Baby A was head down I wanted to labor on my own and go naturally or vaginally. Dr. Endo was so kind. She completely understood my desire and did one last ultrasound. It was confirmed that both babies were still breech and so we decided to go ahead with the c-section.

They wheeled me into the room while your Daddy waited for me to get prepped. I was moved onto the table and they sat me up to receive my epidural. Dr. Endo kept speaking to me quietly and calmly. She put her hand on my arm and told me to relax when the shot was going in. I felt very comfortable and was very excited when she told me that Dr. Noesen would be assisting her in the delivery. It was so cold in the delivery room that I had shivers and the drugs that were helping me for surgery made me shake even more. Pretty soon though I was relaxed and laying down, waiting for surgery to begin. Your Daddy was allowed in the room and he sat down by my head.

They put up a small curtain so that I couldn't see anything and the surgery began. I never once felt any pain or awkward pressure. I thought I might get sick with them "pulling" or "tugging" on my body but I didn't feel any pain at all and I didn't feel too nervous. Daddy spoke really calmly to me and we could hardly believe that you two were going to be born that day. It seemed so surreal!!

Dr. Endo said one thing that I remember distinctly and that was, "Call so and so and let them know we've reached the uterus." My guess is that they were calling the pediatricians because with twins I had double the amount of people in the room. Double the doctors, nurses, anesthesiologists, and pediatricians to help with my two baby girls.

At 6:45 AM on July 13th, 2011 the doctors said something and then I heard you cry Annalie, it immediately made me weep and makes me cry just thinking about that first instance when my heart leaped out of my chest and was attached to another human being. A human being from my very body. I couldn't hardly believe it.

Dr. Endo held you over the curtain so I could see you, Annalie and you were beautiful. You were crying and red but you looked so wonderful that I could hardly breathe. God really opened my heart to see His wondrous grace and mercy in giving you to me. I am in awe of His perfect plan making me your Mommy.

At 6:46 AM you were joined by your sister Maribelle and I rejoiced that you were crying and healthy. I wanted to hold you in my arms so badly but I knew I had to be patient.

Dr. Endo asked for your names and we gave them although we hadn't decided who was going to have which name.

Then Dr. Endo insisted that we all sing "Happy Birthday" to you girls and it was hilarious because she botched up your names and called you "Maribelle" and "Annabelle".... I didn't mind though because I was feeling really good and was just excited to hold you.

While they finished my surgery Daddy came over to me and was holding both of you. The first words out of my mouth were, "Don't drop them," which Dr. Endo and Noesen thought was hilarious that I said that. Little did I know how naturally being a father has come to your Daddy. He has not had a hiccup or misstep in caring for and sacrificing for you sweet angels. From the first moment you two came along your Daddy has been all about giving you the very best. I'm not surprised by this because he has always served and loved me well in our marriage.

You two and your Daddy went to the nursery to be weighed, measured, cleaned and checked while I finished up in surgery. Then you each joined me, separately at this time, in the recovery room where I nursed you both for the first time.

All the lactation consultants, nurses and hospital personnel kept "oohhing" and "ahhing" over what beautiful babies you were (are) and really helped set me up for success.

Although your birth story is not how I pictured it, I am 100% thankful that God always knows what He is doing and has been writing your story (far better than I ever could) from before the beginning of time. Your days were ordained and written for you before even one of them came to be. Psalm 139:16

There are no words to describe my love for you. There is not enough memory or storage on this blog to begin to tell you how you have changed and opened my eyes to all that God is.

He has filled my heart with joy and gladness.

I have always been cheered on and encouraged to be all that I can be by my family and my parents. Now it is my turn to overflow the blessings that have been given to me onto you.

I am ready for the adventure of raising you....

God be with me, enable me to love my sweet daughters and give me strength to pour out the Spirit You've given into their lives.

wanna snuggle?

2011-07-27T12:02:00.000-07:00

we found our girls snuggling one morning and couldn't resist sneaking this picture.

some kids....

2011-07-22T20:21:00.000-07:00

will believe in Santa Claus.... my girls will believe in Herky.

Go Hawkeyes!!

"Hey Mama, when's the game?!"

celebrate

2011-07-21T14:04:00.000-07:00

Aslan keeping watch over Maribelle and Annalie (l-r)

New Season..

2011-07-19T14:50:00.000-07:00

Thanks everyone for your sweet notes and messages around email, facebook, phone calls and texts. I really wanted you to know how much I love hearing from you and having my Mom or Hubs read the messages to me. I feel so loved by everyone.

Please don't feel hurt or ignored if it takes me a little while to respond to all the love I've been receiving. I am just having a little hiatus from internet so that I can rest when I find the time. (I'd rather be reading facebook and updating my blog but I better listen to my Mother and "take care of myself".)

I am humbled by your kind words and praises for our daughters.

Here are some fun facts to "tide you over" until I can give a full report and the birth story....

**Annalie's name is from the last half of my name "joANNA" and the last half of my mother's name "lesLIE"... Eleanor is my maternal Grandmother's name. Maribelle originally came from my Grandpa Icenogle. His Grandma's name was Isabella and he suggested we use that for our daughters. Hubs liked the "belle" portion of her name but wanted something different. Through him just thinking through different names he discovered Maribelle and we fell insta-in-love with her name. Eunice is my paternal Grandmother's name.
**if we do nicknames we're going to call Maribelle "belle" and Annalie "lie lie" (pronounced lee lee)
**we're feeding on a 3 hour schedule and it takes us about an hour and a half to an hour and 45 minutes to complete one feeding. We feed them at the same time or "tandem nursing".
**when the girls are sleeping they almost always turn their heads and face each other. This is consistent with when they were in the womb because they almost always had their heads together.

Love you all.
Now! I am off to take a nap! :)

June 2011

2011-07-03T13:01:00.000-07:00

June has come and gone, I still can't believe it.

While the days went by quickly, it's still hard to remember how I passed the time. You'd think sitting with my feet propped up on the couch would cause a day to go by slowly but somehow, it didn't and still does not. Somehow the days slip through my finger tips and are gone before I know it.

June was a good month for reading, cooking and visiting.friends. It was a month filled with laughter, crazy dreams and yet also a bittersweet ending to the month.

Reading this month included:

"The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society" by Anne Barrows and Mary Ann Shafer

If you are confused about the title and what the book could possibly be about then I can freely share that I was too. I don't know if I would have picked up the book by the title, but awhile back I asked you all, my beloved blog friends, to share your favorite books and I believe this book was recommended 3 times by 3 different friends. Anyway, you three lovelies were right. The book was incredible. I was so drawn into the story, I laughed, I cheered for the underdog and I was completely surprised by one storyline. It was so touching that I made my friend Alissa borrow it for her plane ride. We both fell in love with the characters.

GOOD BOOK!!

I also read "Tender Victory" by Taylor Caldwell which was phenomenal. I really can't say enough good about this book. It was triumphant and redemptive. It had romance and action. It was surprising, witty, and above all else just reminded me that there are good people out there in life and how important it is to be one of those "good people" in my own life. It's a good book. Thanks KF for sending it.

And finally, I finished the month off by reading "Silence" by Shusaku Endo. Hubs recommended that I read it and I was glad that I did. Wow, three out of three for good books this month. :) Silence actually took me by surprise and was more of a "thinker" than I was expecting. It's a book about Christian influence in the Japanese culture in the 1600's. It's fiction though the stories, I believe, are based on some truth that actually happened to people at this time. Really good book that will have you thinking long after you turn the last page, in my opinion.

Cooking this month has been interesting, to say the least. Since my feet now remind me of stuffed Chipotle burritos, I am forced to spend most of my day on the couch. Even sitting in a chair with my legs downward will lead to swollen feet. Swollen. I have the energy and desire to bake to my heart's content but alas, my feet prevent me from doing just about anything.

So when I finally get around to making something, it's gotta be quick, it's gotta be good and it's gotta be made with ingredients I have on hand and don't include a quick "oops I forgot this" trip to the store.

So here goes....

first, if you don't know about this blog

http://lizziecancook.blogspot.com/

can you please pause for one moment, click over and peruse the yumminess that is Liz's cooking. I haven't found a recipe that hasn't agreed with Hubs and I. In fact, I made the

*shredded bbq chicken sandwiches*

quite apologetically because Hubs doesn't really like bbq... actually not at all but I had all the ingredients and threw in some of my own (and selfishly it sounded good to me) while making it and when Hubs took his first bite he was hooked. Literally, we sat there wide-eyed, mouths chewing, sauce around our lips and were shocked at how GOOD these sandwiches were. Try them. You won't regret them. The one thing I would do differently is poaching the chicken a bit longer. I'm not sure if that would dry the chicken out (does anyone know) but my chicken was hard to shred and so I would have softened/cooked it a little bit longer.

We've enjoyed Liz's chicken devan, her blueberry coffee cake and Hubs' personal favorite of Liz's~ her blueberry muffin s. We've tried more, enjoyed more but those are my "yagottatrythis" recommendations. Seriously!!

This month I also revisited an old friend, the Pioneer Woman and was reminded why I love her so. She tickled our taste buds with her pesto pasta and cobbler recipe. I made peach cobbler which came out of the pan looking like junk but tasted like heaven.

Put a little ice cream right on top and no one can even tell that you scraped those little cobblers out of their pan and had to piece them together. Actually serve anything with this much butter and sugar and pretty much no one cares what they look like. :)

In June, I also made two of the hardest recipes I've ever attempted. I made homemade strawberry shortcake and doubled the recipe. (why oh why did I do that?!) It also made me realize that I am not a perfectionist (duh) and will try to scimp where I can. Point in case~ I made my own whipped cream and of course the recipe called for "whipping cream"... but I figured whole milk is the next best thing and since I already had whole milk I just used that. Needless to say, after staring at my kitchenaid on high speed for ten minutes and nothing literally nothing happening, I figured there was a difference to whipping cream.

Ten seconds of using whipping cream and voila! I had whipped cream.

Anyway, the recipe was just incredibly hard. Not sure why but I made a huge mess that Hubs came home too but the shortcake was amazing and even better... I have some frozen to bake later when the babies arrive and I need something totally unhealthy in a pinch.

The second dish Hubs and I made together was chilis rellanos. Cry me a river. It was a recipe that my brother and sister-in-law "passed down" to us when Hubs and I got married. They said it would be hard work. I believe the recipe is three-pages single-spaced but I thought, "Hey, if I don't do this now, when will I ever do this recipe?" and so we gave it a shot.

It was right around the part where the recipe says, "Freeze for an hour" that I looked at the clock which said, "7:00PM" and I told Hubs, "let's pause here, make it tomorrow, and eat leftovers".... luckily the recipe told you what to do if you wanted to stop mid-way through.

I finished the chilis the next day while Hubs was out and we thoroughly enjoyed the hard work it took to make them. They were incredibly tasty. I did not get a picture, sadly, because I was too hungry by the time they came along, that I forgot. And truth be told, they were, also, ugly as sin. And if you can believe it, uglier than the cobbler pieced together.

Needless to say, June was a fun and busy month with friends coming through our door. Welcoming baby Esperanza into the world and my college roomies surprising me with a weekend visit. It was a great month.

Sadly, my family and I said goodbye to my Grandpa Icenogle. Honestly, it feels a bit surreal to me because I was not able to be with my family and "say my goodbye" with everyone else. So although I can acknowledge the fact that my Grandpa is gone with my head, my heart just doesn't accept it yet. I know when I walk into my Grandparents home and his chair is empty that it will feel more real and I will be faced with the reality that I will no longer enjoy his company this side of heaven. If you didn't see the link I put up on facebook here's my dad's tribute to my Grandpa which I thought was perfectly written.

Grandpa Icenogle

July 1st was a huge sigh of relief for me. I feel like I can see the finish line with pregnancy. And although I am forever grateful for these nine months and having my little ones play inside of me, I am eagerly anticipating their arrival. They're about five pounds a piece, I measured (2 weeks ago) at 44 cm and I now am the proud owner of a back brace. I wear my brace like a badge of honor...

Twins arrive (on average) between 34-36 weeks and I am at 35 weeks.

Our next doctor's appointment is in two days and I am sure we'll do our best to keep everyone informed of their arrival.

With love....

34 Weeks

2011-06-24T12:47:00.000-07:00

34 Weeks ladies and gents!! 34 weeks of pregnancy have passed me by. Crazy!! And two remain till it's "safe" for the girls to make their debut and 6 remain till my due date (which no one thinks I'll last til then). So we shall see. It's a bit surreal that Hubs and I will have two little ones in our arms in a couple of weeks or more. Seems like another world... to go from couple to family in a moment.

I can't quite wrap my head around it yet. :)

The girls are doing really good. I'm so proud of them for staying inside and growing so big. They were around 4 pounds two weeks ago and are probably 4.5-5 lbs by now. We got to see them again this past Tuesday and they continue to be the cutest fetuses ever. :) They are definitely movers and shakers. They love music and spicy food. Baby B (furthest from cervix) continues to lie horizontally on the upper part of my uterus or closest to my heart. (awwwww....)

Baby A was still breech last we saw. She sits with her little legs out, bottom in my pelvis and head up near her sister. It's kind of cute that she's reclining but it's kind of also time for her to move. ha ha!! She's been moving and wiggling a lot recently. I am feeling really encouraged that she will decide to go head down once the time comes for her to do so. I have been praying fervently for my sweet daughter to do some flips and I am met with a lot of peace and encouragement when I do so. In my head is the image of the widow who knocked on the Judge's door (Luke 18). Even though I'm not crying out for justice in this case, I am praying to not lose heart and Jesus said to pray without ceasing. :)

In other news, my feet and hands have puffed up quite nicely in the last 4 weeks or so. It was kind of sudden and today is the fattest they've been for awhile. I included a picture from my honeymoon (ahhh sweet bliss) and a picture from today (ahhh sweet pumpkin feet)... can you see a difference?

And just for a fun... a collage to see where I've come from these past 34 weeks.

I love how big I thought I looked in the pink pants picture and again in the tank top picture. Oh sweet naivety! (p.s. i'm holding up a "3" and a "4" in the last picture for 34~ kind of hard to see)

Keep praying for us and we'll keep you posted on sweet babies' progress, position and delivery!!

With love....

the twenty-first of june

2011-06-21T12:17:00.000-07:00

Some days hold just a little more twinkle in them than other days. Do you have days like that? The twenty-first of June is the day my Grandpa Schupbach was born, the day my parents got married, and the day my brother Jonah was born. I've never known such a fun day (and it's the first day of summer, officially) and wanted to commemorate the speciality-ness of it all.

Happy Birthday Dr. Jonah!

Love you more than you know and so thankful for all that God has done in your life.

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad

An anniversary is an event we do not celebrate as we should.

Shame on us. Seriously!

To give this anniversary and the celebration the blog post it deserves I link you to my Dad's blog where he so eloquently remembers the day he met my mother and all the days there after.

Click here

And to my Grandpa, who has since gone Home, I remember and love you for all the wisdom, gumption and life you passed on to me. Your footprints remain and we faithfully follow you.

Happy Birthday!

26 (9)

2011-06-14T16:21:00.000-07:00

"Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future. She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue."

proverbs 31:25-26

new eyes

2011-06-12T19:54:00.000-07:00

If you've ever seen "The Notebook" or heard about it and decided in your mind that you knew just how romantically hopeless this story was, I implore you to read this post and look at the movie with new eyes.

Notes on the Notebook

Then leave a comment here or there and let me know what you think. I was blown away by the analogy my Dad made and asked him about it. He said, "When I woke up in the morning, my thoughts turned to God and I thought of this". He later encouraged me to not let my mind be made dull by entertainment but instead to see God in all things since He alone permits all things to happen.

Read the post and enjoy seeing a "chick flick" with new eyes.

26 (8)

2011-06-10T12:35:00.000-07:00


Kudos to Creator of the Cake & Picture

"Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her. And there I will give her her vineyards and make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. And there she shall answer as in the days of her youth, as at the time when she came out of the land of Egypt. And in that day, declares the LORD, you will call me 'My Husband' and no longer will you call me 'My Baal'. For I will remove the names of the Baals from her mouth, and they shall be remembered by name no more. And I will make for them a covenant on that day with the beasts of the field, the birds of the heavens, and the creeping things of the ground. And I will abolish the bow, the sword, and war from the land, and I will make you lie down in safety. And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the LORD. And in that day I will answer, declares the LORD, I will answer the heavens, and they shall answer the earth, and the earth shall answer the grain, the wine, and the oil, and they shall answer Jezreel, and I will sow her for myself in the land. And I will have mercy on No Mercy, and I will say to Not My People, 'You are my people'; and he shall say, 'You are my God'.

hosea 2:14-23

a great passage claiming God's promise for redemption through love and security.

we are his.

26 (7)

2011-06-09T10:59:00.000-07:00

"For if you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?" Then Esther told them to reply to Mordecai, "Go, gather all the Jews to be found in Susa, and hold a fast on my behalf, and do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my young women will also fast as you do. Then I will go to the king, though it is against the law, and if I perish, I perish."

esther 4:14-16

courageous women rock!

26 (6)

2011-06-08T14:11:00.000-07:00

Therefore I tell you,do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you,even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you,O you of little faith?

Matthew 6:25-30

26 (5)

2011-06-07T10:42:00.000-07:00

Truly, truly I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.

john 12:24

May 2011

2011-06-01T18:54:00.000-07:00

May has been a "let's get 'er done" kind of month.
And as long as it felt at times and as many projects as we accomplished I am still a little surprised that June is here.
*gasp* Did I just say June?
Yes, yes I did.

With May came a Cubs game which they won (take that nasty Dodgers~ woop woop!), two baby showers (both lovely and over-the-top in the generousity and love showered (no pun intended) on me), the finishing up of ministry (for the most part), a little bit of reading, a whole lot of crafting, maternity ward tours, breastfeeding classes, laps swam in the pool, my childhood bestie gracing me with her presence and entertaining Hubs with what a wicked child I was (ohhhh man, I could be mean when I wanted to be), a reunion of friends, a new discovered love of quinoa, Hubs birthday, a dentist appointment, love found in a salvation army, the doctor laughing at my huge uterus and then told me said uterus was squishing my insides and that's why sometimes my legs go numb (hmmmmm....), and finally a book coming into the library that I had been waiting for which Hubs swooped up on an errand run so that I could flop myself onto the couch and put my beginning to swell feet up.

Whew, are you tired from all that? I'm pretty sure that is all one sentence too. Woo hoo for awesome run-on sentences. :)
May was a good month to focus on the Twinkies and their soon-but-not-too-soon arrivals. I can hardly wait to see them in their nursery. I promise to put pictures up soon but I really feel like there needs to be one more finishing touch. But for the most part, if I had the Twinksters tonight and brought them home tomorrow (which would not happen) then I would be all set to go. Diapers? Check. Receiving blankets? Check. Adorably cute and smothered in pink clothes? Double check.
Remember when I found out I was having girls and wrote this post and I said, "Unfortunately I don't naturally tend to flock towards pink. Don't get me wrong, I love pink. I love any color that is bright and wild but so far, as far as baby stuff goes I've tended to stay around aquas and emeralds."
Well, I have definitely changed my mind and had my mind changed for me. While I am still hoping to get all sorts of bright fun colors added to their closet, I am also not afraid to admit that I now happen to "flock" towards pink... and ruffles... lots and lots of ruffles.
It's just too darn cute!!

To top off the Narnia themed nursery which I gave a preview here I was blessed (I really believe this is a blessing) to find an affordable and adorable wardrobe at a salvation army. I really have my friends Sam & Tivian to thank because they clued me into this fabulous salvation army which is located in a more "well-to-do" area of so cal and their selection of furniture is fabulous! And did I mention affordable? Well it was and even marked down from their first price because it had been there, waiting for me, for two weeks. I simply had to have it. I wasn't even looking for it and stumbled past it once or twice before I even noticed it.

Most of the crafts and focus this month have been centered around the nursery. We finished the mobile, we cleaned out the wardrobe, we washed all the laundry, and I even organized all the clothes by age so that we can have less shuffling through clothes later on in life when my brain is fuzzier. Now all we need are two cute little ladies to fill our lives, hearts and time with.

This month, non-baby related... I read
The Treasure Principle by Randy Alcorn and totally loved it. It is a little book and a quick read which is great because I feel like Hubs and I will be referencing it and folding over pages to come back too.
It's led me to some serious thought about our giving and how to encourage others to give. Really great book, I'd pick it up if I were you and oh, look it's only a cent on amazon. Crazy!!

The first two weeks of May I did a Weeknight cookbook challenge and can I just confess something to you? I'm crossing this off my "28 things to do" list. It just wasn't the book for me. I made enough recipes to last through two weeks and was not overly impressed with very many meals. Maybe they're too fancy for me? I'm not sure but I could care less. I'm not a fancy food kind of girl. Given the right occassion, sure, I love fancy meals. But in my home I'm totally a "what's tasty" kind of cook and to me, these meals just didn't cut the cake. Plus, if I'm sharing these with ya'll my beloved readers I'll be honest, there was only one that really tickled my fancy and that was the previous post, Thai Chicken Satay. Now that is a meal to make.

So I'm sorry to say but I'm crossing that off my list.... and even though I would normally feel like a failure for not finishing something on that list.... let's be honest, I'm not going to finish a lot of things on that list. But the fun part is, I cooked and ate a lot of things I normally wouldn't have. Veal, anyone?
That's the whole point of the list anyway, to get me out of my comfort zone.
Enough said, I'm heading back to my comfort zone for a little while and yes, I hope to finish more on the list. I still have my eye on that.

We've had quite the month and are looking forward to some resting and relaxing this month before the girls arrive. We're hoping for a natural mid-July birth but know that the Lord will set apart the day and the way whenever He sees right.

How was your May? Hows your summer shaping up? I'm curious what adventures people will be taking, what books you'll be reading and what new things you'll learn. I'd love to learn alongside you so keep me posted on what is going on in your life as well.

Thai Chicken Satay (12)

2011-05-30T10:10:00.000-07:00

Here's a recipe sure to please just about anyone at your dinner table... from the Weeknight cookbook.

Thai Chicken Satay
Ingredients:
limes, 2 large
rice vinegar, 1/2 c
chunky peanut butter, 1/3 c
fresh cilantro, 1/4 c minced
ginger, 1 T minced
garlic, 3 cloves minced
soy sauce, 3 T
light brown sugar, 3 T firmly packed
asian sesame oil, 1 T
skinless, boneless chicken breast halves, 4 cut into thick strips
romaine lettuce, 1 small head, cored and leaves shredded
cucumber, 1, peeled and sliced

What to do?
Marinate the chicken
Place 8 bamboo skewers in cold water to soak until ready to use. Grate 1 teaspoon zest from the limes and squeeze 1/4 cup juice. Whisk together the lime zest and juice, vinegar, and peanut butter until smooth. Stir in the cilantro, ginger, garlic, soy sauce, brown sugar and sesame oil. Reserve about 1/2 cup of the mixture in a separate bowl for use as a sauce. Add the chicken to the marinade and turn to coat. Let stand at room temp for at least 10 minutes, or cover and refrigerate for up to 2 hours.

Cook the chicken
Meanwhile, prepare your grill for direct-heat grill over medium-high heat and oil the grill rack. Or, preheat a broiler (grill). When ready to cook, remove the chicken from the marinade, discarding the marinade. Divide the strips among the 8 skewers, threading the strips on lengthwise. Place the skewers on the grill rack, or put them on a baking sheet and placed under the broiler. Cook, turning once, until seared on the outside and opaque throughout, about 6 minutes total. Divide the lettuce, cucumber slices, and chicken skewers among 4 plates. Drizzle with some of the reserved sauce and serve, passing additional sauce at the table.

Eat and Enjoy!

30 weeks

2011-05-27T11:04:00.000-07:00

I had to take these a little differently today because Hubs is gone for the morning and I wanted to get them posted before the day got away from me.

30 weeks pregnant.

My fundal height is measuring in at 40 cm. (wowzers!) My doctor laughed when she measured me and I said, "Wait! Wait! Let me guess..." and I was right. 40!

I'm still feeling good for the most part.

I am usually ravenous in the mornings and not particularly interested in food at night.

I feel stuffed pretty much 90% of my day.

I'm officially several weeks in my third trimester and officially on house rest. It has been good to stay home more and I actually love that I can nap and lay around whenever I am tired. I'm usually winded after climbing the stairs and usually take naps after running an errand or two.

I've been on a mission to get all my to-do list from the past year and a half of living in our townhome done the last week or so. We bought curtains for our living room, set up the nursery, bought a kitchen cabinet (farmhouse style) and got a new couch.

Whew! Hubs has been working hard. He's done 100% of the projects mentioned above and has never complained about my wild ideas, since I can't lift or do a lot of things at this stage, he has steadily loved me through all of these projects. Thanks Hubs!

The latest with pregnancy is that we will receive two more ultrasounds (4 weeks apart).

The next ultrasound is scheduled in two weeks to measure their growth and make sure they are on track. We don't want one of them hogging all the food and growing a lot faster than her sister.

The second ultrasound will be at 36 weeks and that one will be more for "final" positioning of the babies. If both girls are breech (which they were this last appt) then we will schedule a c-section for 39 weeks. If Baby A (closest baby to the "exit") is head down they'll wait for me to go into labor on my own.

We are praying for not just one but both babies to go head down so that I can labor on my own but I keep reminding myself, "not my will, but Yours be done" and I know that God is writing the story of these little girls' lives and I want to keep my heart and mind open to His plan for them.

I know God doesn't "mind" me praying my own heart and desires while I can though.

So I am praying but understand that it may happen differently than we are imagining.

Please pray with us!

Inging

2011-05-26T10:07:00.000-07:00

I got this idea from my beloved friend Jamie O. over at High Countries (click on title) for doing a blog and since I have no news worthy of an entire blog than I thought I'd just catch you up on all the little happenings around our home.

Dreaming

about all sorts of random things. I have the most fantastic and vivid dreams during pregnancy. Last night I had two that I remember...

#1 was me drinking our plant water... ok, so back story on this one~ I am trying to start my own plant from a leaf that I cut from my ivy. I called my Grandma up and followed her directions to starting it and she mentioned that I should put plant food in the cup of water in order to speed up the process of the cutling starting it's own roots.

In my dream, I drank the cup full of water and miracle grow and told Hubs it was to help the babies grow. Weird!!

Dream #2 was longer and more indepth but basically my high school bf Sarah and enrolled both of us in grad school in Wisconsin. And I was seriously considering going and living in the dorms again. CRAZY!!! When I woke up though I had an intense desire to go back to the midwest and also to return to school. I hope I can do both someday soon.

Wearing

Hubs' old boxer shorts, a maternity top that no longer covers the bottom half of my belly and a beanie to keep my wayward hair in place.

Buh. Since I'm the same size as a single pregnancies final days I am running out of options for clothes. Yes, I could go out and buy some large and extra large shirts... but I'm hoping to make it through the summer without having to make another maternity outfit purchase. It's pretty comical to me and before you go judging me for my outfit, I am staying at home 80% of my days these days anyway. So no harm done to the general public.

Praying

that these little munchkins inside will decide to shift head down in the next couple of weeks. It's been a battle in my head because I would really love to go for a natural birth and see what my body can do and experience the process of laboring... but I also will not at any cost put my children at risk. Move babies, move! I woke up this morning and it was the first thing on my mind. Their positioning... and so I started to pray and pray and when I finished I glanced at the clock and it said, "8:28"

Oh, how i love when God does this. It's like my own little message from Hm. For quite awhile now, I can't even remember how long, but for some time God has laid Romans 8:28 on my heart whenever I see the clock strike that time. It has been a comfort to me in the past and was today.

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

Freezing

a ton of desserts from Hubs' birthday last week and being blessed by two showers in the month of May. I felt overwhelming blessed by my Navigator women's shower and the church ladies shower. Thank you to all who came and helped hostess!! I felt blessed and loved and so lucky to have a wonderful group of friends in Long Beach. Praise God!!

Eating

mostly just cereal these days. Milk sounds soooo good these days and the cereal is quick and easy for when I'm suddenly struck with hunger pains. I eat big meals in the morning and tend to slow down for the rest of the day. I don't feel very interested in food at night.

Celebrating

our wedding anniversary by eating the top of our wedding cake. Okay, it actually wasn't as romantic as that. It basically went like this...

Hubs: "can we get this cake out of the freezer?"

Me: "but it's for our anniversary..... ooooookay, but we still have to eat it."

after eating it, Hubs: "this is gross"

Me, shoving a forkful in my frosting tinted mouth, "Really?!? I don't think it's so bad."

So we celebrated our one year, 8 months and some change anniversary by eating two (or maybe I had more) bites of our beautiful wedding cake.

Waiting

for my books I put on hold to come through for me in the library. I'm trying to do a lot of leisure reading this summer while I can but the books I've been wanting to go through (which a lot of you beloved readers suggested to me) are all checked out at the library. Hmmm...

Thanking

God for all the daily life blessings that He has given to me. I'm working my way slowly up to a thousand gifts.

I know they're there, Lord, please give me the eyes to see them.

and baby makes three...

2011-05-19T10:06:00.000-07:00

My best friend Kelli just had her little girl....

Welcome Miss Maebry Joanne to the world.

She was born on May 18th at 11:20AM and weighed 8lbs. 10 oz.

What a sweetheart.

Kelli was a champ at laboring. I can't wait to hear more of her story and of course, to kiss her sweet cheeks (Maebry's cheeks not Kelli's) and love on them next time God crosses our long distant paths.

Congratulations!!!

the last little bit... of a birthday

2011-05-17T23:20:00.000-07:00

Oh sweet Moses how this boy makes me giddy and tingly inside.

I can't imagine a life I love celebrating more than I do my sweet Hubs.

Hubs is so much more to me than just a Hubs.

Hubs is the calming voice of reason when I am floundering about in a sea of emotions...

He is the steady flow that neither pushes me too fast nor too slow...

He is very tender, very sweet and very aware of others and their needs.

I wish I were more like him.... he is such a generous person with his time, his money and his energy.

He'll answer random phone calls of friends who are wanting to treat their girlfriends to a good dinner and want Hubs advice on where the best korean/chinese/japanese/dim sum/sushi, etc. can be found.

He is a man of quality.

When I first met Hubs almost 4 years ago I was intrigued by his countenance and the way he handled himself. He was a gentle leader. He was in charge of a group of students traveling overseas and he was always gently steering them without being overly zealous or bossy. He is a servant leader. I was continually impressed with him. He teased me and challenged me in a way that was cute but never too misleading (although after a couple months I was like "dude, quit flirting with me and let's date already!" but that is just my personality speaking)

I was giddy and glowing and totally 100% in love with Hubs.

Although I told myself I wasn't and I knew I had to hold back and show some restraint.

So we took our time and dated.

and he was and still is totally worth the wait.

Hubs, you have always given me the tingles. You always make me feel like the most beautiful woman and the most appreciated floundering child of God that I am. You are quick to remind me of grace and forgiveness and always quick to give me both when I need them. You love me well and excel in leading me back to the cross where grace flows freely.

It's never about you. That's why I love your birthday because it's the one day I get to make it about you. And I hope that I can make more days than just today about you... because baby, my life is incomplete without your quirky little behaviors that I have grown to love and grow fond of.

I love that you eat chicken feet

and pig feet

and love fish cheeks.

I love that you would drive out of your way for a black noodle dish that I don't quite understand.

I love that you help out friends when they ask you to do things like drive across Arizona in the hottest weather in a vehicle with no air conditioning.

I love that you want to encourage more people in life.

I love that you desire to grow more in your friendships.

I love that you eat my cooking and have learned to say "it's not my favorite".

I love laughing with you.

I love lazy days when we're home together.

I love holding your hand

and carrying your children.

I love that you talk to the Twinkies and "discipline" them when they're kicking me in the ribs.

I love that you are soft-hearted and tender towards our nephews and nieces.

You are honest.

You are genuine

You are my favorite.

I don't know how else to say it but just that I love you more than I ever thought was possible. Thanks for asking me to be your wife.

Happy Birthday Hubs!

This is how much I adore you.

Oh, and thanks for letting me wear these glasses. :)

from the book to the canvas

2011-05-10T19:09:00.000-07:00

When I found out we were pregnant, regardless of the gender of our wee ones, I knew I was going to do a Narnia themed nursery.

If I could transfer myself to any place in literary history, hands down I would go to Narnia. You can keep your Hogwarts and your... uh, is it the Pacific Northwest for Twilight?.... I would go to Narnia any day. So when I started to dream up my Narnian nursery I knew it needed three essential things working for it... a. it needed a wardrobe door. Instead of a normal door, you'd enter the nursery through a wardrobe and b. it needed to be moveable since I know we won't be in our two bedroom apartment forever and c. it needed all the characters from all the books that I loved and held dear. I'm a huge fan of Lucy Penvesie but I can also see the value of Miss Jill Pole, the courage of a Reepicheep, the simple humility of a marshwiggle named Puddleglum and of course, the pauper turned hero Shasta. If you have no idea who I am talking about, add the 7 books of Lewis' to your summer reading and enjoy!

Why Narnia? You may ask. Let me tell you why I am infatuated with Narnia. Several reasons, I was practically raised on Narnia. It's the innocence and the bond of my heart to my brothers as we were read the stories together by my father. It's the reminder of a childhood that was precious and protected by said brothers and my parents. It's the story of children conquering and overcoming evil in this land that they come to love and even yearn for. It's the reminder to me of better things to come. It's the story of a forgiving King of the land who created, cared for it and gave the land it's name and animals. It paints a beautiful picture of what heaven will be like, what it is to be reunited to old friends and how the yearnings of a place you can't quite get to are not the yearnings of a "fool" but of someone who knows what "better" is and that "better" can't be experienced here.

hmmmm....

Sorry, I don't know if any of this makes sense.

In short, the stories of Narnia are to me the best stories of how ordinary children become their potential heroic selves and overcome the evil that persistently threatens to ruin and deteriorate the land that they love.

Anyway.

So the wardrobe-as-a-door idea is still on hold and seriously, this may always be a sweet dream of mine. But the one thing I could do was make "moveable art" that included all my favorite scenes from the books.

Here's how Hubs and I took the books and made them into art....

well labeled stickies so that when Hubs went to scan and print the images he'd know what size to print them as.

multiple prints of the same image so that I could practice and make mistakes without ruining our only copy. We also took images from all the books trying to include the stories as a whole. Even though Lucy and her discovery of Narnia is my favorite part, I want my babies to be able to enjoy and discover their own favorites in these stories.

metallic gold paint to highlight some features of the paintings.....

mod podge! oh, how i love thee.

and canvases of all shapes and sizes.

take an image.... spread mod podge on the canvas, then slowly lay the paper on the canvas smoothing it so that no air bubbles can get trapped. No matter how slowly or carefully I did this, I got air bubbles. But it adds character so I didn't mind.

after the paper is secure and dry for the most part (shouldn't take too long depending on how much mod podge you used) you can mod podge the top.

then I added little gold highlights to different paintings. Like Prince Rillians' sword as he is killing the serpent, the walls of the "inner garden" and Narnia "growing" from Aslan's song.

Then Hubs sprayed the paintings with a finishing spray so that, should the prints ever endure a highly humid climate... ahem, Japan... they won't melt or become sticky. They're supposedly "sealed" for life.

then we hung them in our sweet daughters' room.

Oh look, here's all my friends....

My only qualm about these is that I'm not used to such .... uncolorful decorations. But if I know how to do anything it's add color so I'm on the hunt for my next project which will be adding color to the walls and room...

also, I should add that the canvas collage is not finished because we have two more pieces to add that are not from the book but are pieces of art from two amazing artistically gifted people; a painter and a photographer. :)

More to come on that later.

blessed

2011-05-06T22:41:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling overwhelmedly blessed this evening.

Nothing physically has changed. I'm not free of back pain, leg cramps or a stretching uterus. Nothing has changed except my heart.

I was sharing with some lady friends about how I learned recently that it isn't recommended to feed the babies together for the first four weeks. So for the first four weeks I'll be feeding every 2 1/2 hours one baby at a time in which feeding could possibly take up to an hour.

And as I was sharing I was .... let's be honest, basically complaining about the half an hour that I would have all to myself.

And I felt a little tug on my heart... a little "God tug" and the words from Luke 1 came to my mind, "Blessed are you among women..."

Now I am not claiming to be carrying our savior, or to be even as remotely as surrendered as Mary was (although I strive to be, Lord) or even claim to be more blessed. I think every woman on earth is being blessed in some way, shape or form.

My shape and form happens to be an oversized but gorgeous uterus that I cannot take my hands off of most of the time.

Blessed.

I hope I can enjoy and relish in every little moment... even the ones that would be "normal" to vent about. Like the extra poopie diapers and the spit up and the crying and. and. and.....

Nope, I'm blessed.

I think we need to remember and recall to mind that life, even in all it's ebb and flows...

is a blessing.

A blessing.

That's why I am going to start my "thousand gifts list".

I told you about reading this book One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Areand how it has changed me and opened my eyes (click here for my thoughts). But the truth is, I am forgetful and while I am able to recall some of the nuggets of gold to mind I am quickly forgetting the habit of being thankful for daily life.

So I want to start a small journal where I write down the thousand every day things I am thankful for.

#1 little nudges that inevitable begin when I lay down to rest. Private moments with two sweet daughters.

Blessed.

April 2011

2011-05-03T09:33:00.000-07:00

I love this picture. I love my butter dish. I just had to say that.

I'm such a country nerd.

April was a month full of surprises.

First, Hubs surprised me with four weeks of sewing classes.

Sewing class was one of my favorite things to do this month because I was able to not only sharpen some of the tools I had learned from my mom or the web but I was also able to meet some really fun people and connect with women in a new way. It was fun to have classmates and to be able to talk to new people. There was also four pregnant women in my class of about 10-12. The class was on making aprons and pot holders from a pattern. Super fun!! I made mine out of a coffee cup fabric and even "quilted" my pot holder.

Lots of fun!!

The second surprise was actually for my Dad. Hubs and I surprised Eddie Joe on his birthday by traveling to Illinois to see him and visit family for a long weekend. It was wonderful!! Eddie Joe then surprised me with the above butter dish as a gift.

I did not get any reading in this month. Seriously, nothing on my shelves has tempted me and I haven't made it to the library yet.

Babies had a growth spurt. I passed my glucose test. I made another egg bake that didn't end up in the alley. I had raging hormones and one of the hardest weekends emotionally for me for no apparent reason.

My mom was in town to visit at the very beginning of April and we did a TON of sewing, watching movies and eating yummy foods. It was such a blessing to have my mom in California to see our lives here since neither her nor my father have been out since Hubs and I had our CA reception. My house was full of boxes at that time. Boxes and well-intended wishes for what I could do with this house. But now, our home is filled with stories, love, tears and laughter. It was fun to share my home and life with her.

Mom and Dad will both be back out to California when the babies are born to help. Woo hoo!

Overall, April was an awesome month with lots of little fun moments tucked inside of it.

26 weeks & babycation

2011-04-30T09:53:00.000-07:00

I'm not going to lie. Looking at this picture kind of makes me hurt.

ha ha!! Just kidding... well, kind of.

26 weeks into this pregnancy and I am still feeling for the most part good. I have days where I am more tired than others but overall still feeling good.

I had a growth spurt from 24 week check-up!

Ready for this? I had my check-up on April 12th and measured 30 cms as I recorded on the last update. Hubs and I laughed.

I went in to the doctors on April 28th and was measured at.....

ready for this?

......

35 cms.

Wowzahs!!

So in 16 days I grew 5 centimeters.

We still laughed but I laughed a little less harder and had to ask my doctor if she was at all concerned about this. 40 centimeters is like the "ding" on the dinnerbell in my mind. Ding as in, you're done. Your turkey has cooked, the thermometer has popped.

So naturally hearing that I was already 35 centimeters and it wasn't even technically May (remember I'm due in August- three months away) kind of made me panic a bit.

My doctor said she wasn't very concerned about it. She said I'd probably go past 40 cms and that all that stretching and growing would, yup, be painful but that it was all going to be okay.

She also reassured me that I had had a growth spurt and wouldn't necessarily see a growth like this again. Maybe? Maybe not?!

I always wanted a growth spurt but never imagined it would happen to me sideways and not length-wise. *sigh*

Anyway, 26 weeks marks the beginning of what my doctors call "house rest" and what I thought they were calling "house ar-rest". They had a good laugh about that one when they heard me call it that. Now I like to call it my babycation as in a "baby vacation".... or my rest for my babies. So what do I plan on doing during my babycation?

Finishing the nursery, prepping for babies, reading, cooking, and if I can, find a nice pool to jump into (well, not so much jump more like clumsily climb into) and swim around this summer.

Ah, babycation sounds nice. And right in time for summer!!

Please pray that the girls get as close to August as the Lord wills!!

sometimes i drool

2011-04-25T18:48:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when I have a minute or two I like to peruse blogs and recently I've gotten into home decorating blogs or DIY or just crafty blogs in general.

I like to read about the projects and see the transformations that many of these bloggers do themselves. And while I would consider myself a beginning crafty person I still look to a lot of these blogs for daydreams and inspiration... and then I drool.

I mean, how can you not drool over the yellow accents and the ingenuis idea this blogger had to use a barn door as her bedroom door.

That's right I said a barn door.

Be still my beating heart!

Photo Credit and Blog Credit

And if that weren't enough her headboard is literally lovely!

I can't stop staring at this.

Photo and Blog Credit

This blogger had the nerve to do an awesome pantry. If this is this lady's pantry I would love to see the rest of her house. I love the paint choice. I love the chalkboard labeling. I love that she has shelves and shelves set aside just for her entertaining/decorating purposes. Who has that many cake stands and glass vases?!?!?! *sigh* I actually just recently found this blog and love love LOVE that she loves colors!! I think we will have a beautiful blog friendship.... the kind of friendship where she doesn't know I exist and I stalk her blog to watch for updates.

Oh internet... thank you!

She EVEN has a *sigh* baking station!! How fun!!

Photo and Blog Credit

And let's not forget the blog that helped me get started with my drooling.

Jones. Sweet Jones! Her tutorials and diy information is so easy I've done a couple of her projects already and loved them. I have a beautiful canvas art piece that I did from her blog above my bed but unfortunately I'm not happy enough with it to post a picture. I think it's because I need more color to help it stand out. So it's a project in process for now.

I love this project of hers and want to do a woven fabric pin board for my girls' room. But again, I love her colors. That blue is so beautiful and really makes the fabric board stand out. Not sure if I could do this with beige fabric.... might just bleed into my wall. Hmmm....

Photo and Blog Credit

And finally for today. I love Holly Mathis interiors because she seems to be a gal after my own heart. I love her rustic almost country charm. Love this table!! And if I can say this about someone else's table I love how "beat up" it looks. It looks loved and lived in.

*sigh*

What are some ideas/blogs or projects that inspire you or make you drool?

moods and memorization

2011-04-23T17:33:00.000-07:00

Either I have writers block or I am not as interesting as I like to think that I am but gosh, I just cannot sit down to write a blog that I think would be entertaining.

Is it me or do pregnant people have slower minds? Seriously.

To top things off today I'm mood swinging, so I am actually feeling a bit weepy about the whole not being able to write a decent blog issue and wish I could just blow some steam.

Pffffft!!

Moods are an interesting thing, aren't they? As a woman I have had to learn and relearn and relearn and discipline myself to follow through on the fact that feelings and moods and emotions are fleeting. They feel very real because well, it's how I'm feeling. But the truth is that they are not always Truth. Emotions can be mean to me. And moods, well, those are always (as of lately) swinging.

So what is stable in life? What grounds me?

And that is SCRIPTURE!

More and more I'm finding how wonderful it is to be slowly memorizing scripture in my life. It's so important for me to speak Truth to myself when I'm not necessarily feeling it.

Recently, Hubs and I were caught in some nasty turbulence. I'd like to say I handled it like a champ but to be honest I fuh-reaked out and was crying like a baby. Probably like two babies with all the hormones I got going on. I was feeling vulnerable and seriously imagining my death. We were in a small commuter plane and bouncing around like popcorn being popped. I was sobbing and telling Hubs, "I can't do this. I can't do this."

And then I thought of Isaiah 26:3 which I had memorized which says, "He will keep in perfect peace, him whose mind is steadfast because he trusts in You."

And I repeated that to myself over and over and over again.

Naturally I freaked out the lady next to me who pulled out her barf bag and stared at me until we landed but it brought me so much comfort to know that not only could I ask God to give me peace but He actually promises to give me peace.

I realized memorizing scripture helps us to connect to God in more than just a "feel good" way. It also helps His word to come alive for us.

If I can encourage you in any way, I would definitely say memorizing scripture is useful for us to connect and be "in step" with our Father. It helps us to keep in mind the things that are on God's mind and reminds us of the Truth when our emotions tell us otherwise.

So today, although I am feeling somewhat emotional about life I can recall to mind the promises God has given to me through His word and bank on the Truth of what He says.

What verses have you memorized that have later come to mind? (scary situation or not)

24 weeks

2011-04-15T10:57:00.000-07:00

I always look so tired in these photos, don't I?

Well, here we are, week 24. I'm in my 6th month and feeling relatively good for the most part.

Hubs is pointing to my belly... just in case you missed it.

Here's some fun facts about life in the 24 week...

our babies are each a pound and a half.

they measure at about 12 inches

and they're both growing steadily.

Right now they are just developing their more intricate parts like the delicate vessels of the lungs and more brain developments. They're also focusing on getting fatter as right now they are still pretty thin and even transparent. Poor things. Maybe I should eat more cake. :P

Baby A is head down (way to go girlfriend!!) with her legs up around my belly button.

Baby B is still laying right up under my ribs. Her head is now at my right side and she moves around like crazy!!

They are both really active little girls and usually wake me up in the middle of the night.

So here is the latest news that made Hubs and I laugh...

our doctors routinely measure my "fundal height" and in case you didn't know the fundal height is

the distance from my pubic bone to the top of my uterus (thank you babycenter.com for the accurate defintion). Generally this measurement should equal the weeks I'm at in my pregnancy. So at 24 weeks a person (with a single baby) would probably measure between 23-25 centimeters or so.

My doctor told me I'm measuring at 30 weeks!

Wow!!

This just made Hubs and I laugh. We are so blessed and it's so fun and interesting to be growing.

Seriously, this news wasn't hard to hear at all it was just so much fun to hear how fast I've been growing!!

I'm trying to think of what else there is to tell you.... still having interesting dreams... took my glucose test.... chose our names but not our middle names yet.... nope, we're not telling anyone!

oh yeah and if the background of our picture looks weird, it's cause we're in NORMAL!!!

Woo hoo!! We surprised my Dad for his birthday and flew back to my home yesterday!! I was hoping to "show off" the midwest in springtime to Hubs this weekend but in true midwest springtime fashion it'll be rainy and 50's all weekend.

Boo.

But who cares. I am totally living it up with my family this weekend!!

Hope you have a good weekend too!!

crafty time

2011-04-11T16:54:00.000-07:00

I was feeling a bit crafty today. So I tackled a project that I was hesitant to do at first. My mama had brought me these beautiful aqua curtains but something. was. missing.

I couldn't quite put my finger on it until I started a different project and then it hit me.

Embellishments and applique.

Do I know how to applique? No, I'm not even sure that's how you spell it but it looks right.

So with a pattern to look at it (but wasn't using since I already had my curtains) I just kind of "winged" it. No pun intended.

So here you go, a sneaky peaky at the nursery decor.

See? Beautiful curtains but I wanted just a little bit more!

Not the straightest or best stitching but cest le vie! The curtains came together!!!

These are not E.T. hands but actually tree branches.

This little darling is my favorite!!! Even though the pattern didn't have a flying bird I wanted one. So I made one flying.

ta-da!! My birds, the wind blowing the leaves and a little friend, coming to join them.

How fun and cute for my sweet little daughters!!!

tradition (to be sung to the tune of the Fiddler on the Roof song)

2011-04-09T14:20:00.000-07:00

Is there anything more fun than traditions? Traditions are usually kept to special ocassions like Christmas, Easter and birthdays. I am all about my Christmas traditions. I have a hard time with people who want to sleep in on Christmas morning and have had to learn to be flexible getting a household full of children and adults up and going when all I want is for everyone to run down the stairs at 6am, the smell of cinnamon rolls wafting in from the kitchen, and Santa Claus quietly slipping out the door- not quite fast enough to not get caught by my nieces and nephews. Lord help my sweet children if they prefer to sleep in because I will not allow for it on Christmas morning. Sorry sweet babies doing cartwheels in my uterus as I type.

While I am all for my Christmas traditions and developing birthday and Easter traditions, I am also intrigued by those who have traditions for non-holidays.

My friend Jin posted a picture of chocolate chip pancakes and a caption that read, "Saturday Morning tradition"....

and it made me think, "Why can't you have a tradition and a fun special treat for normal days like Saturday?"

So today, Hubs and I enjoyed chocolate chip pancakes and. they. were. heavenly. Really amazing. I mean, are you surprised by that comment? That they were delicious. It's your basic comfort food food groups; carbs and chocolate. So really, there shouldn't be any surprise that chocolate pancakes are amazing.

And drool worthy.

And because it was Saturday and I had time to make them and then take about two billion pictures, I did and now you can enjoy the pictures.

But first.... a couple questions.

1. Can you just make a tradition or how do they begin? Can I call this a tradition or do I have to have chocolate chip pancakes for the next ten years before they are tradition worthy?

and 2. did you have any traditional foods that you eat for Christmas, birthdays or a plain ol' day of the week? If so, what was it and do you keep it up?

Enjoy the pictures and don't forget to hum Fiddler on the Rood while scrolling through them. It'll make the experience more enjoyable. Oh I heart Tevye!

don't hesitate to lick the spatula. well, your own!! You shouldn't be licking mine or it'll only sadly be the taste of dusty computer screen.

Hubs put syrup on his. I did not. I preferred the simple butter and melted chocolate taste. Try any topping and let me know what works!

The Twinkies gave the chocolate chip pancakes two flips! I think that means they loved 'em!!

overrun... with a thought

2011-04-08T18:46:00.000-07:00

We've been overrun recently with some friendly visitors. With spring in the air, we've had an affluence of caterpillars making their way towards our home which will provide warmth and shelter for their sweet little cocoons.

For the most part we are not bothered by them except when they tried to make their cocoon on our open door (oops, I left it that way so I could sit inside but feel like I was outside).

I'm excited to see their cocoons change and for them to spread their little wings and take flight eventually.

Caterpillars remind me of an analogy that the authors used in the book, "TrueFaced" which I read last semester. They said that if the DNA was taken from a caterpillar and looked at, you could essentially say, "This is the DNA of a butterfly" and they related this to how we are changed and made into our righteous selves through Christ. Even though we may feel like we are the same ol' person with the same ol' sin and mistakes that bog us down.

How encouraging is that? That though I struggle with sin and wonder if I will ever become the person I was made to be, it's imperative for me to know and believe and claim for my life that I am actually already that person in Christ. God never expects perfection from us. Even after we've reconciled our hearts with Christ, we're still not expected to be perfect. We're expected to rely and cling to Christ. And His perfection works in us. Although you may look like the same ol' caterpillar, God no longer sees a caterpillar when He looks at you through Christ.

He sees a butterfly.

If anyone is in Christ, He is a new creation. The old has gone, the new has come.

2 Corinthians 5:17

sweetness

2011-04-04T11:47:00.000-07:00

Guess who got new goggles for her swimming class?

shocked my mama

2011-04-01T21:53:00.000-07:00

My Mama's in town. I couldn't be any happier. I'm loving our time together and only wish I could see my Dad too. We love you Dad!!

Today I showed my mom my sequence of pictures

(click here for weeks 6, 10 & 14)

and I think she was a little surprised.

"I popped... I think.... don't you... think I popped between 18 and 20" I asked.

"Yeah, you popped." she said.

She's been quick to love on me and remind me that I'm beautiful. The love of a mother.

Here I am.

22 weeks in.

Feeling good.

Still semi-active.

Eating whatever I want (no aversions).

No big cravings.

Babies are just about one pound.

And the cutest thing they're doing this week (according to my baby books and online) is developing their tooth buds.

How cute is that?! Little tooth buds!!

In other news, Mikey and I are registering for cloth diapers. We're super excited to try out diapers for the newborn stage and see if this is something we want to do. Cloth diapering would save us a ton of money and seems like a good plan. So we're taking the first step and trying out the newborn size. If we like them, we'll get the next size, when the Twinkies need them. If we don't, we'll go to Plan B.

We registered for the diapers with a friend on her blog:

Calicloth Diapers

If you're interested take a peek. We're pretty excited.

Getting a lot of baby prep down and sewing for most of tomorrow. Woo hoo!!

Don't worry Dad, we'll send you some In-n-Out. ;)

March 2011

2011-03-31T23:33:00.000-07:00

March was such a great month. I'm feeling really good although I am slowing down with this pregnancy. Already. I have one more month left before I am home-bound, which I am fully accepting as good advice. I'm already feeling pooped.

I can't imagine what I'll feel like in a month or even three months from now.

The babies are doing well and everything looked good at their 20 week check-up.

March was a stretching month for Hubs and I as we tried to connect with loved ones who live in Japan. I remember watching the footage of the tsunami washing over Sendai and not fully realizing the tragedy that was happening before our eyes on live television.

We're thankful to God that all of our friends in Japan are safe and now we pray that relief efforts will truly help people and meet them in their distressed time.

I had a lot of fun with my "Chicken Week" posts that I finished about a week ago. Click here to review all those tasty recipes. It was wonderful to stretch myself with some new recipes but there were also some major failures.

Overall, a 5 lb chicken was too much for two people and a week's worth of chicken recipes was too much chicken for Hubs and I. I would do 1-2 recipes stretched over the week and go with a 3 lb. chicken. I never intended for people to eat chicken every day for a week like we did but just in case that wasn't clear... I'm still not advocating for it.

I finished two books:

Babywise: by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam which was a great read and something I think Hubs and I are going to try so we can give our baby girls some structure to their little lives. I really enjoyed this book and it's challenging me. I'm not a scheduled person. I don't like too much structure but what I am learning and what I am sure I will continue to learn a lot more once Baby Girls come is that, it's not really about me anymore. I'm excited to give my daughters some structure and to love them while still learning about their own personalities and their preferences.

I also read One Thousand Gifts:

by Ann Voskamp. This is an amazing book about drawing closer to God and Ann's journey to learning what the central line to communion with God is. Let me tell you, this is a book you will read and reread over and over again because Ann offers insight and challenges throughout the whole book. I felt like I was barely able to scratch the surface of her thoughts as they swirled around me, encouraging me to draw close to the Lord on my own.

Read it. It's good.

I haven't been crocheting much but I have been deco paging (a new bedroom canvas~ pictures coming soon) and sewing for the arrival of Baby Girls. I'll have to post some pictures of all the projects we've been working on. Hubs and I went to the Art Supply Warehouse on Westminster and can I just say, "I love you Art Supply Warehouse." So cheap. I cannot believe how cheap their canvases are and supplies in general. The only thing I was a tad disappointed with was their price with dye colors. But it actually saved me from an impulsive and possibly bad idea.

But yeah, if you're in the area and want to do some artsy stuff go there! You will love it.

March has been good. I'm excited for April. Lots of fun stuff coming up in April but hopefully it won't go by too fast because then... I. am. home.

What have you been up to this month?

rose colored glasses

2011-03-24T23:04:00.000-07:00

Hubs and I had our 20 week ultrasound today and everything looks amazing!! It was so wonderful seeing the twinkies and to finally know where they are located since I've felt a LOT more movement this past week.
They are lying horizontally across my belly instead of next to each other. One is, I guess, on top of the other. How exciting.

So here's the news.... we are 95% sure we are having TWO GIRLS!!! Hence the blog title. I'm sure we'll be seeing a lot of pink and life through pink tinted lenses for awhile. Unfortunately I don't naturally tend to flock towards pink. Don't get me wrong, I love pink. I love any color that is bright and wild but so far, as far as baby stuff goes I've tended to stay around aquas and emeralds. Who knows. Maybe my girls will shake their head and beg for pink stuff later. :)

The ultrasound tech has only been wrong once in her 31 years of doing ultrasounds, so we're pretty sure we'll be bringing home two pink bundles of wonderfulness this summer, Lord willing. :)

Baby Girl A is number 1 or letter A because she's closest to the birth canal or the exit. :) She weighs about 13 oz and has a anterior placenta. Which means the placenta that gives her all her nutrients and oxygen is actually on the top of my belly not on the backside. Which may explain why I haven't felt her as much. I thought she was more mellow but maybe it's just the extra cushion between us. Anterior placentas are not a problem. Baby A has her head towards my left hip and her legs moving up towards my right side of the ribs. She actually has her feet on top of her sister's head. So I've been feeling a ton of activity on this side of my stomach because I have a head, hands (of #2) and the feet of #1. I hope Baby A isn't being too mean to her sister. As far as measurements go, everything looks right on target for growth and development for Baby A.

Baby Girl B has her head on the right side of my body, under my ribcage area. Her body and legs swing on over to my left side. She's about 13 ounces as well and measures right on target for her due date. Overall, everything looks awesome and they were pretty cooperative with the technician.

The only problem we had with the ultrasound was that I began to get sick from lying on my back so long. I remember talking to my bestie Kelli about this, not being able to sleep on our backs and I really wondered, "is it really that bad?" but YES! Let me tell you, after a couple minutes on my back I got really hot and nasueated from not getting enough blood to flow to my brain. Blech. Twice we had to take a break and let me roll to one of my sides. I guess the weight of my daughters and all that comes with them was too much for the major blood vessel that flows through my backside. Blech. It was not fun at all.

So needless to say, when we found out we were having girls my reaction was more or less mellow. I was just trying to not throw up on the side of the table. But I made it through.

We're doing good. We're excited and we can't wait to meet our little Twinkies. What a huge blessing from God. We're super excited with our news.

Chicken Week Recipe #4 & 5 (12)

2011-03-14T22:17:00.000-07:00

I had another failed chicken recipe try. Daaarn!!

I was so sad that it didn't work. It was a Japanese recipe that Hubs and I love and I wanted to pass it on but alas, it failed. I think I cooked it too long or maybe the chicken just didn't work cause usually it's fresh chicken. Anyway, it didn't work!

But I have a lunch recipe for you and a dinner recipe for you.... so enjoy the final two recipes of Chicken Week! Woo hoo!!

Chicken & Mango Salad (from the Weeknight Cookbook with my own adaptations)

Ingredients:

2 c of your already made chicken

2/3 c canola oil

1/4 c white wine vinegar

1 T dijon mustard

2 cloves of garlic

1/2 c apricot preserves

1 stalk celery, thinly sliced

1 small red onion, halved and thinly sliced

1 mango, peeled, pitted, and thinly sliced

buns

butter lettuce

Now what:

First make the vinaigrette. In a food processor or blender, combine the oil, vinegar, mustard and process until blended. Add the garlic and preserves and continue to process to a smooth puree.

Assemble the salad. In a bowl, combine the chicken, celery, onion and mango. Add the vinaigrette and toss gently to coat. Toast the buns, line the buns with the butter lettuce, load the sandwiches with chicken salad.

Eat and enjoy!!

And now on to dinner... this is a recipe from my friend Liz who is amazing and ya'll should check out her website. http://lizziecancook.blogspot.com

She's quirky, bubbly and totally awesome!

I give you bird!

Just kidding. I give you Chicken Pho

Here is Liz's explanation and recipe because I can't say it any better than my sweet friend.

If there were a food about which i could write a book, pho might be that food. pronounced "fuh", pho is a delicious vietnamese brothy noodle soup that kicks classic chicken noodle soup to the curb, in my opinion. i crave it. my husband and i fell in love over pho. the wonderful sauces and herbs you add to it make a heavenly aroma. and we've seen pho restaurants with some of the goofiest names, such as "9021pho", "pho that", and "what the pho?". i mean, come on!

it is typically served with sliced rare beef, tripe and tendon, and the broth is made in a slow cooking process involving oxtail. well, kids, this blogger isn't much for red meat or for all-day cooking affairs, so when dao, a vietnamese friend of ours, offered to teach me how to make a simpler, quicker chicken version i squealed at the opportunity. and it is delicious!

chicken pho (phở gà in vietnamese)
2 cans chicken broth
2" of fresh ginger (whole, but peeled)
1 quartered small onion
5 star anise
2 chicken breasts
1-2 T. fish sauce, if desired (you can substitute salt)
1 lb. rice stick noodles (damp or dry)

garnishes:
fresh basil
fresh cilantro
bean sprouts
sriracha sauce
hoisin sauce
hanh dam (thinly sliced onion soaked in vinegar - so good)

bring broth and 3-4 cans water to boil. add ginger, onion & anise and bring back to boil. once boiling, add chicken breasts, simmer for 15-20 minutes until cooked through. remove chicken, cut into thin slices, set aside. (i taste the broth here and add fish sauce or salt to taste - you want it to be salty as adding the noodles later will lessen the salinity). bring water to boil in another pot and cook noodles til just done (don't overcook!). drain and place noodles in individual bowls, add some chicken, and cover in broth. rip up basil & cilantro leaves into soup & garnish as desired!

originally

2011-03-12T23:13:00.000-08:00

Originally I was going to title this post "Definitely not 'Man Food'" but now it's just

"what not to eat for dinner tonight"....

I made a not so hot meal tonight. It just didn't flow with Hubs and I. We finished our meal, pushed back our plates and I said with half a thought, "Hmmm... that wasn't very good." To which Hubs sighed with love in his eyes and said, "I'm so glad you said that."

Because usually I love things he doesn't always like and he loves things I have seen people eat on fear factor.... okay, maybe not that radical. But I did eat some of the things he eats regularly for dares in Japan... so, ya know.

So no recipe tonight.

Sorry.

But I promise to still give you plenty of recipes because ladies and gentlemen, I got plenty of chicken in my fridge. I was actually quite surprised when I saw how much chicken I had in my fridge when I made dinner tonight. Might have to think about making lunch and dinner tomorrow and posting two recipes tomorrow for Sunday. I'll see how energetic I'm feeling but hopefully I can give you a little more than just a sorry looking photo.

If the photo looks tasty to you (it did to me in the cookbook) comment, and I can send you the recipe.

But don't say I didn't warn you.

Don't forget to say a prayer for the Japanese people who are still trying to locate loved ones and start the process of putting back together their lives. Hubs and I were devastated to see the land we love so much filled with so much grief.

I'm so thankful that Jesus is able to share our grief with us.

Thankful for the verse

Because of the Lord's great love for us, we are not consumed. For His compassions never fail, they are new every morning, great is Your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22-23

Chicken Week Recipe #3 (12)

2011-03-10T19:05:00.000-08:00

There is no one I love quite like how I love my Grandmothers. I think every Grandmother is like a sunny flower and mine are no exception. So to celebrate them both, I'm including in my chicken week a recipe from one of them. Although I may include a recipe from the other one later on.... hee hee only time will tell.

And Jamie, you seem to be my favorite fan of chicken week so I am sorry to say there is cream of mushroom soup in this recipe and although there are ways to substitute that, I feel bad not knowing if you can use this. Hopefully you can find some in Japan. ;)

Here we go....
Grandma Schupbach's Chicken Casserole
Ingredients:
1 cup of noodles (cooked in chicken broth, did you save yours? We did and used it! Yay!)
2 cans of cream of chicken soup/mushroom soup (either or)
1 cup of mushrooms fresh (or 1 can)
1/2 c. chopped onions
1/2 c. chopped celery
1 c milk
1 c cheese
2 c of chicken (cooked please, if you're not using cooked chicken)
bread crumbs

Now what?
mix all the ingredients together, put it in a casserole dish, top with bread crumbs. Bake for 1 hour at 350 degrees. You want the bread crumbs browned and the casserole bubbly.

With two people eating it we barely touched half of it. So this amount could work for 3-4 people perhaps or two and leftovers for tomorrow. Woo hoo!!

Say what? Secret hint:
My beloved Grandma makes this recipe doubled. She freezes the casserole, thaws it when she wants it and bakes it at that time. I have done this and it was SO convenient to have a hot meal that was also homemade in my freezer waiting to be cooked. Just put it out on the countertop a couple hours before hand or put it in the refrigerator a day or two ahead of time. :)

Voila!!

Chicken Week Recipe #2 (12)

2011-03-09T23:14:00.000-08:00

Chicken and Spinach Quesadillas
Ingredients:
chicken which you already have
fresh button mushrooms
baby spinach
flour tortillas
monterey jack cheese
sour cream
salsa

What to do:
Grease (with spray or oil) a large, heavy frying pan over medium heat saute the mushrooms until tender about 3 minutes. Add the spinach and chicken and saute just until the spinach is wilted, about 30 seconds. Transfer to a bowl.
Divide the chicken mixture among the tortillas, spooning it onto half of each tortilla and leave a 3/4 inch border uncovered. Sprinkle evenly with cheese. Fold the tortillas in half over the chicken mixture to enclose loosely.
Wipe out the frying pan with a paper towel and return to medium heat. Grease with spray or oil again. Working in batches, add the quesadillas to the pan and cook until golden brown. I put a saucepan or something heavy on top to make sure the cheese melts and really sticks to the insides. Cook 1-2 minutes on first side, flip with a spatula and cook another 2-3 minutes longer.
Top with sour cream and salsa.

Yum!! Quick and easy!

a secret...(chicken week (12))

2011-03-08T22:21:00.000-08:00

Sorry Mom, it's not a secret about the babies...

It's a secret that my sister-in-law shared with me and I wanted to share with ya'll.

If you take about 60-90 minutes to make the above chicken you can have up to 4 meals in a week from the meat of one chicken. I'm going to show you how this week (a big thanks to hubs who will be eating a lot of chicken and a lot of american style dishes).

For starters and just a disclaimer. This is with the thoughts of cooking for 2 possibly 3 people. I decided to use a 5 lb. chicken with the roasted directions down below. We'll have to see if I can make it through the week using only this chicken. I'll conclude the week with thoughts on whether or not the 5 lbs was good.

It's just a fun idea I've had and want to try. I thought it might be nice to pass along an easy way to cook some meals throughout the week by putting a little time into one meal (the roasted chicken). Maybe roasted chicken could be your "sunday dinner" and throughout the week you can use the chicken in a variety of ways.

This, however, will not be a good week for those who hate eating chicken.

Sorry friends.

Trying to make life easier for some will not work for others.

Let's begin shall we?

Recipe 1 of Chicken Week

Classic Roast Chicken (from the Weekend Cookbook)

Ingredients:

Whole chicken (we're going with a 5lb-er to feed a family of 2 for 5 recipes)

Fresh rosemary, minced

salt and pepper

Now what?

Prepare the chicken:

Preheat the oven to 450 degrees Fahrenheit. Place the bird, breast side up on a rack in a large roasting pan. Pat the chicken dry with paper towels, while reassuring it that everything is going to be okay. I feel like this allows the chicken to relax and therefore be more tender and juicy. You think I'm kidding but I do talk to my chicken and it does taste amazing.... coincidence? I think not. Rub the outside of each chicken with rosemary and a generous amount of salt and pepper.

Roast the chicken:

Roast the chicken for 20 minutes. Reduce the oven temperature to 400 degrees and continue to roast until an instant-read thermometer inserted into a thigh away from the bones bone registers 170 degrees. (about 40 miutes longer) Transfer chicken to a carving board and let rest for 10 minutes.

At this point, Hubs and I ate wings and thighs for dinner while saving the remainder of the body for the week. You can do the same or carve up the chicken and save all of it for the week.

Now, Hubs and I like to save the bones and boil them in a big pot over a couple of hours. We do this while watching t.v. or getting other things done. The chicken bones do not have to be supervised as long as you keep an eye on all party supplies and alcoholic beverages. Chickens will do just about anything to avoid a boiling bath. :(

We strain the bone water after it has boiled/simmered for a couple hours and then we let it cool and then we put it in freezer bags and freeze it. For what? You might ask my pretty little pets. For homemade soup and totally healthy broth that can be used in any recipe that calls for chicken broth. We don't add anything like salt to the broth because it can always be added afterwards when we make a recipe. We like the purity of the broth. Plus, it usually doesn't need anything.

Okay, did I cover everything? I think so. Don't forget to come back here tomorrow and later on this week to catch all the yummy recipes new to me and some of my favorites from this one chicken.

brown paper packages tied up with string...

2011-03-05T21:14:00.000-08:00

a few of my favorite things...

just in case you doubted my love... grapefruit, i love you!

yellow accessories, especially on our back patio birds

and yellow accessories on me.

fresh flowers that open before my eyes

pretty slices of lemons and mint leaves garnishing...

first time homemade lemonade and messy hair days.

And one of my top favorites is my Grandma's potato salad.... it makes me so happy to eat it.
(and a special thank you to Alicia for my blog title. Youngest children rule!)

18 weeks and a lesson in what not to say to a pregnant woman...

2011-03-04T11:07:00.000-08:00

Here we are... 18 weeks!

So far so good. I'm feeling good, feeling energetic and able to eat just about anything. I'm still craving the most unhealthy foods but trying to keep my sugary choices down to a minimum.

I'm still cuh-razy about grapefruit. How good is that fruit? Seriously? It's amazing and I love it.

I'm now 100% in maternity clothes and actually in this picture am in larger than normal "regular" clothes. I went shopping at my friend Michelle's store... well, where she works and I purchased a few "comfort" items to lounge around in and able to walk around Long Beach in.

She persuaded me to buy the cropped pants in hot pink, not my usual blues/greys/blacks and I'm so thankful she did.

Michelle, you are such a fashionista! Thanks for pushing me out of my comfort blah zone and into snazzy pants zone. ha ha

Okay, now, just a quick lesson before signing off for today.

Please, when you see me, do not ask me if this is what size I'm supposed to be. Am I larger than other 18 week pregnancies? Yes! Am I larger than some women who are in their 7th month? Yes.

But I am having twins and I have no idea how large/small I'm supposed to be.

All I can say is I'm exercising and eating healthy.

So... please don't ask me if this is what size I'm supposed to be.

I've learned that pregnancy is a good time to learn many things. For one, patience. Patience to go to my next appointment, patience to feel the babies moving, patience at the restaurant taking a long time to serve my food when I'm starving and ultimately patience for nine months to take, well, nine months. I wish it would hurry but I know it'll be gone before I'm ready for it to be gone and I'll miss having the babies inside of me.

I'm also learning a lot about comparison. I know plenty of people who are further along with one baby that I am bigger than. And plenty of people who are at the same stage as me that I am bigger than. It can really get a girl down to be bigger....

but I can't compare. I'm trying my best to eat healthy and exercise regularly and if I gain a ton of weight or look like I'm nine months at six months, so be it. I'm not going to get down about something I can't ultimately control (unless of course I eat an entire cake and then I do have some responsbility for my weight). haha

Anyway, I am learning to love and I do, my body and it's amazing changes. I'm loving how it was created to be stretched.

18 weeks down! I'm officially in my 5th month!

February 2011

2011-03-02T21:47:00.000-08:00

February has been a whirlwind of events. Hubs and I waited till almost February to get the word out but I would definitely say that February was the month of everyone finding out we're having twins. :)

We're still so excited to realize day by day what a blessing pregnancy and the idea of becoming a family is to us.

Hubs and I were able to be a part of and help in some ways with a student conference our region holds every year. We were also able to help with an orientation this past weekend where we shared how God has been leading us to go back to Japan and how to discern where God may be leading the students who attended. It was so much fun to be a part of both of these events and fun to visit with friends but whew, I get tired a lot more easily these days.

It took me almost a week to recover sleep-wise after the first conference so I told the people in charge for the second weekend that I would be sleeping at home and commuting on days that they needed us. :) I got a LOT more sleep the second time around.

I made some tasty dishes this month. I homemade some chili and even used tomato juice that Hubs and I had canned earlier in the fall. (note picture above) There's something so fulfilling about using the herbs/vegetables/fruit from your own little patio. I love to call it my garden but in reality it's hardly that. Or at least, not the gardens I'm used to. It's a modest collection of a few herbs, small strawberries and a little tomato plant. I did not use the tomatoes from my plant to can. Oh golly, no! I'd never have enough. Plus, they're just cherry tomatoes. But it's still refreshing to use the plants from our backyard. Hubs has done such a great job taking care of everything back there and it's lifegiving for him. Right now we're overgrown with cilantro so if you're in the area and want some, let me know. :) I had daydreams this month about starting an actual beautifully larger garden in our backyard and was excited that planting this spring would possibly lead to some fun adventures this summer and fall. But as patios would have it, ours has limited "direct/all day" sunlight. And where the sun doth shine already, we doth planted there. :)

So I've given up the daydreams of seeing carrots, giant swiss chard, cucumbers and sweet peppers blossoming this season. I'll have to tuck those dreams away for another day. I will admit that I do daydream about taking my babies out to the garden to nap on a big blanket in the shade while I work in my garden, weeding, watering and tending to it. In my daydream I have one of those beautiful large hats on that ties underneath the chin with the ribbony type material.

*sigh*

Aren't gardens so romantic?

There is something so beautiful about rows, beautiful vegetables all lined up like school children waiting to go to class.... I would love a picture of my grandmother's garden. She always had the loveliest and largest gardens we would play in and eat peas from.

*sigh*

Aren't Grandmothers wonderful?

Okay, for all my guy readers out there (hello. are you there?) I'll move on.

In February, I didn't do much crafting. I sent boxes of crafts though. I finished some fabric flowers and some cute burp cloths and sent those to my sis-in-law who just had our newest nephew; Abel Henry. What a lovely name, don't you think?

*sigh*

Aren't old fashioned names just wonderful?

I have to admit and I'm only able to tell you this because Hubs vetoed it harshly before my mother vetoed in herself. I love love the name George for a little boy.

I do. I love the fact that George was my Great-Uncle who got my Grandpa into a lot of trouble and I'm sure vice versa, I love that George means "farmer" which translates to me "earth" which just reminds me of the simplicity and goodness that flows from below. I close my eyes and picture the dark soil that I know and love that runs through the veins of Illinois.

....wow, is anyone still reading? I'm probably boring you all. :)

Dad, I know you're still there. Am I your daughter or what?

Anyway, I love the name George but Hubs unfortunately does not. He can't picture a little baby named George and even though I think "Georgie" makes the cutest nickname I have been denied. Maybe I'll keep it for a plant I own one day.

Speaking of plants and gardens. I did, sadly, manage to kill a plant this month. I have no idea what happened. It was a house fern and supposedly an "easy" one to take care of but i woke up one morning to find it black and shriveled. I've actually been nursing it for awhile so it made me quite upset to find it dead... buh! But alas, it's dead and good riddance. When I researched online how to revive and care for it, I came to realize that it was actually not what I would consider "easy" but instead quite fickle of it's surroundings. It can't be too humid but a little humidity is nice. It can't have too much sun but wants sun. It wants heat but not directly. It can't be moved. at. all. and it apparently hates me.

So the high maintanence plant goes in the dumpster and I go back to the store to get another one.

Remind me to tell you the story of when I tried to grow asparagus.

This month, I read Jane Eyre.

One of the best books ever.

Read it.

The movie is coming out and I challenge you to READ the book before seeing the movie.

It's actually quite quick of a read despite it's size. I tried to read a chapter before bed and oftentimes read more than one and would struggle with my eyelids growing heavy. It's just so good.

Also, this month we had our 16 week check-up where the doctor assured me I am not gaining too much weight (so don't ask if I'm normal size, that's just not nice but it's been asked) my heart beating out of my chest (pounding seriously pounding) is quite normal and the babies heartbeats were healthy yet quite different. One is faster than the other.

How cute.

Yeah, so about the heartbeat. I would get these intense moments of a heavy heartbeat where I felt like my heart would jump from my chest. One time Hubs said he could see the vein in my neck pulsating. WHAT?!?! Crazy huh? Well, the doctor told me it's just because I'm pumping double the volume of blood.

Again, I say, the pregnant body is amazing.

That's it for the month of February.

Oh, Valentine's Day... you want to know what we did?

Well, to make a long story very short since I rambled about gardens and Illinois' soil, we came home the night before Valentine's Day to find out toliet had been overflowing for some time....

from our neighbors plumbing as well since we share pipes.

So we were up till 1AM cleaning up toilet water.

I'll spare you the details!

*sigh*

Isn't getting a bleached bathroom and going to the laundromat to wash out your towels romantic?

I'll leave you with that thought.

Much love to you.

Belly shot on Friday and a fun series of recipes next week... provided I feel well but so far so good with the 2nd trimester.

something interesting...

2011-02-27T22:11:00.000-08:00

the problem with a blog is that there is a nagging voice in my head that tells me I can't write something here unless I have something valiant to write about from "up there"....

and when my head feels blank and my stories seem trivial it's hard to get on the ol' blog and share my life. I have fallen into the trap that I have to entertain you, make you laugh, cry or think and really that isn't what this is about.

this blog is a place for me to spin the tales that go round in my head, share them without fear and let the laughter, if it may, be from me only. because life isn't about performing either, right?

So here goes. Some less than interesting but real life things that have happened....

i threw up. for the first time in pregnancy. i've gotten off so easily this pregnancy and i am certainly not complaining. i am more amazed at the human pregnant body. again, i stand amazed at the way my body is changing and how my mind can't form complete thoughts and how this is all a part of hormones racing, heart thumping, blood surging and babies devouring the better part of who i am. and what i mean by that is how the babies will get nutrients first and any part of my blood that will benefit. again, certainly not complaining just amazed. i am currently on iron pills so that i don't faint every time i stand up.

anyway, i digress. throwing up. ah, yes. so i waited too long to eat. i really shouldn't have done that. by the time the food got to the table, my stomach acids were extremely angry and raging. seriously, i could feel that this was not going to be good but i ate anyway, hoping to appease the stomach acids with the simple gift of food but it was not to be easily appeased.

so at a restaurant i threw up.

at home that night i decided to just head to bed and hope for better things. but as I was washing my face i noticed tiny red dots...?!?! hives? I called my doctor and found out that nope, not hives but broken blood vessel capillaries from the force of getting sick.

amazed at the pregnant body. Who does that? Who breaks their capillaries?

while pregnant i've taken more time to read. i have recently fallen in love with jane eyre and would definitely name my first born rochester if mikey would let me. hmmm maybe i should ask. who knew a book that thick could be so captivating and amazing. the page number really scared me off at first because i hate not finishing a book. i hate having the book linger over me for months and months, sitting on my bedside table begging me to finish it. i don't like that feeling and yet it happens. so i stayed clear of poor jane eyre. But alas, i was pleasantly spellbound and surprised by how charming the story was. two thumbs up.

i have been having some mild cravings these days. i am easily enticed by my nose and eyes. i've been daydreaming about cinnamon rolls (to which my dentist said, "oh joanna. not those.") and my dad's apple fritters. dancing delightful chicken tenders from DQ (only from DQ) topped off with a DQ blizzard. I want my grandma's vegetable soup and hot wings from Buffalo Wild Wings....

don't ask me why, don't tell my I'm crazy. I just see or smell or think about these things and I am half-driven to find the closet DQ and sit there for hours... or at least over the course of a couple of meals. blizzards for lunch and chicken tenders for dinner.

and the funny thing is.... now, thinking about all those things makes me have heartburn. pregnancy is so intriguing to me.

overall, things are good. I am moving in to a month of nesting and rearranging our home. I'll be sure to keep ya'll posted on how life (the interesting and the... not so) is going for us.

a recipe to make for dinner... (12)

2011-02-22T22:18:00.000-08:00

This is a recipe to try. I am not joking...

Go to your local grocers and buy some salmon because this is a recipe you will make more than once.

Miso-glazed salmon from the Weeknight cookbook (and p.s. it's made with bok choy but mine had already gone bad by the time I made the salmon. Cest le vie! No bok choy!)

Ingredients:
1/2 C white or yellow miso
1/3 C mirin or dry sherry
1/4 C sake or dry white wine
3 T light brown sugar
2 T soy sauce
4 Salmon fillets about 1 1/2 lbs.

What To Do With Whacha Got:
Marinate the fish
In a shallow glass or ceramic dish just large enough to hold the salmon fillets in a single layer, stir toether the miso, mirin, sake, brown sugar, and soy sauce. Add the salmon to the marinade and turn to coat. Let stand at room temperature for 10 minutes, turning the fillets occasionally. Alternatively, cover and let marinate in the refrigerator for up to 2 days.

Cook the fish
Preheat the broiler. Remove the fillets from the marinade, reserving the marinade. Place the fillets on a foil-lined rimmed baking sheet or broiler pan. Place under the broiler and broil until the fillets are caramelized and lightly charred on the edges, 3-4 minutes. Carefully turn the fillets and brush with the reserved marinade. Broil until the salmon is slightly charred on the outside and just cooked throughout, 3-4 minutes longer. Divide unto 4 plates and serve.

Sorry I do not have a picture. It was too delicious to pause and take a picture of.

Enjoy! And again, you have to try this recipe.

Don't worry all you "no-more-recipes-tell-us-about-babies" readers. There will be updates coming soon. I had a weird-o weekend with feeling sick and back to square one so I wasn't in a mood to blog about throwing up in a Japanese restaurant. Oops! Did I just write that "out loud". Yeah, it wasn't my most glorious moment. But pregnancy will do that to ya!

The good news is that March and April will be months for focusing on babies before I go on mandatory house rest. So I'm sure I'll have puh-lenty to say and blab about in the months to come.

But just to wet your appetite until then.... here's a lovely little mental picture for you.

Hubs. I. Wrestling a double stroller in Babies R Us.
Yup, not one of our loveliest moments.

steaks with herb butter (12)

2011-02-08T21:59:00.000-08:00

I am still working my way through the "Weekend" cookbook that Hubs and I chose to go through this year. I took a break for awhile... from cooking in general because I was not feeling well with morning (all day) sickness and the thought of meal planning did not appeal to me at all.

So I opened up the cookbook and was REALLY excited to try this lovely little dish.

And did I mention it's in the "20 Minutes Start to Finish" section?

Oh yeah, baby!

So I give you the weekend cookbook and a recipe even my asian-loving-man-licked-his-lips-pushed-back-his-empty-plate and declared, "THIS was good." And when Hubs says that, we all should listen. Cause he knows food.

steaks with herb butter

Ingredients:
3 T unsalted butter, at room temperature
2 T snipped fresh chives (we did not use these)
1 T rosemary minced
Salt
freshly ground Pepper
4- 1 inch rib-eye steaks

What to do now:
Prepare the herb butter.
In a small dish, stir together the butter, chives, rosemary, and a pinch each of salt and pepper.

Cook the steaks.
Meanwhile, prepare a gar or charcoal grill for direct-heat grilling over high heat and oil the grill rack. Or, preheat a broiler (grill). Season the steaks generously with salt and pepper, patting it firmly into the meat. Place the steaks on the grill rack, or put them on a baking sheet and place under the broiler. Cook, turning once, for 6-8 minutes total for medium-rare, or until done to your liking. Divide the steaks among 4 plates, top with the herb butter, and serve.

the pregnant mind

2011-02-07T14:58:00.000-08:00

Oh, the mind of a pregnant lady. It really makes me chuckle quite often and I am definitely the entertainment of Hubs' day... well, when am I not.

But pregnancy has definitely made me more flighty and oblivious to things around me.

I stammer and stutter.

I asked my Mom on the phone, "Wh-wh-wh-wh-when do you do that?" one time while talking. Although it makes me laugh it can also make me quite frustrated. I feel like my mind is twenty steps ahead of my mouth.

The other day I told Hubs, "I'm craving grupefrait.... grupefrait?"

To which we both just started laughing hysterically because I obviously meant "grapefruit" but was not able to say it. Oh man.

My dreams have also become a source of entertainment as I quite often have very distinct and memorable dreams. Then when I wake up, I'm usually too scared to go to the bathroom, get a snack or even open my eyes. Even if the dream wasn't necessarily scary I get really scared at night.

For two-three nights what we thought was our CO monitor beeping going off at short intervals throughout the night was waking me up and allowing my mind to run quite wild at the thought of what could be setting it off.

Not only does my darling snore peacefully through all the beeps but he also doesn't have the even more heightened imagination like I do.

I was CONVINCED that there was a man by the CO monitor making it go off (did I mention it only went off at night) and even though my bladder was about to explode and I kept thinking, "You have to do this. You have to get up." I couldn't. I just couldn't. I mean, could you if you thought there was a man blowing on it to make it go off??

Oh pregnant mind.

So what did I do? Well, the sensible thing of course. I woke up Hubs (who shouldn't have been sleeping so peacefully anyway) and asked him to take me to the bathroom which is literally three steps across the hall.... but I had to walk near the CO monitor so it made sense... sort of, to me.

No man, and actually it was the fire alarm running out of batteries.

So Hubs thinks I'm funny... not necessarily in the moment but definitely the next morning.

Last night was one of the "scariest" dreams.

Okay, relatively speaking because I have definitely had worse but this was the strangest scary dream of pregnancy.

To preface....

You all remember Wilbur. My beloved Scarlet Finch that won't eat any of the seeds but the sunflower ones so we end up with a mess. We're worried he was drawing up gang lines because he fought some other birds once and now has a lady friend.

Does that jog your memory?

Well, the other morning Hubs woke up and opened our blinds only to find a CAT staring at him from the perch of our fence. Hubs said it was so freaky. I am so thankful that I didn't see it because I would have screamed. My man can handle that sort of creepy stuff. Ew. Anyway, apparently the cat likes to "watch" our birds eat. I'm sure it does, probably envisioning how fat and juicy they would taste. It really makes me mad but I haven't seen the cat yet to do anything about it.

That is.

Until last night when the cat and I first encountered.

Prego dream #1: the cat was sitting on the fence eating a duck. I was yelling for Mikey to help the poor duck out.

Prego dream #2 (the worst one): the cat was actually eating the fallen seeds from the ground and had more of the yucky wild animal (like it's a rat or something) feel to it. I DID NOT FEEL IT. I mean that the feeling you get when you see it was more like a dirty creature rather than a sweet little animal. Anyway, I tried to scare it from the pile and it ran away but it was actually a "mutt" or a "mixed race" cat. It had the tail of a raccoon, the fur of a beaver and the mobility of a cat.

Anyway, it ran away but it woke me right out of sleep and I was fuh-reaked out.

I could not go back to sleep. I wasn't necessarily worried the cat was inside or anything but I was just too "riled up" inside to do anything logical at that moment. I could not relax to fall back asleep.

So I almost woke up Hubs to let him know that I had figured out why the cat was hanging out but I figured it could wait till the morning.

I'm sure Hubs is grateful for that.

So I'm not sure what it is about prego minds and their ability to focus so keenly at night and then get totally lost during the daytime. I forget my phone and later find it in my pocket. I lose my keys. I walk out of the house almost everytime thinking that I forgot something. It's crazy really.

But the nice thing about being me, is that I can laugh most things off. Yesterday for example, I gave an announcement at church and ended it with, "Okay, talk to you later." as if I was leaving a message on the phone. Sheesh!!

I tell Hubs, I happen to think I'm very funny.

The nice thing about thinking I'm funny is that I'm able to laugh at myself and many of my situations. Take for instance, going to a Packers superbowl party when I am a Bears fan. There is clearly only one solution to that dilemma. And that, is to have a sense of humor.

And he would agree... unless of course it's at 2AM and my bladder will explode unless he protects me from the beavcooncat.

I don't think he would even humor me if that were the case.

as promised

2011-02-04T09:49:00.000-08:00

As I promised, here are the baby bump pictures we've been waiting to post till word got out.

Six weeks!

I like to think that I am one of those flat belly ladies but truth be told I always have had that little pudge where a baby should and does now live.

So although I would never show this ever for any other reason, I guess I have nothing to hide now.

10 weeks

And today's photo!

14 weeks!

Welcome to the Second Trimester.

Overall, pregnancy has been decently good to me. I get extremely tired some days. I still get really hungry although I've stopped waking up in the middle of the night for a snack or two. I'm still able to walk and get around where I need to. I feel mostly energetic at this point. Not back to 100% (will I ever?) but definitely more energetic than the start of the first trimester. Around Christmas I literally laid around all day just sick. Blech.

Yesterday I was laying down for a quick rest when it occurred to me that I am going to be a mama to these sweet babies. When I walk in their room, it's me they'll stretch their arms out to. For a little while they will need and want me. When they cry out in the middle of the night and finally learn to talk, they'll cry out "mama" and that. will. be. me.

Maybe this hit every other expectant mother right away when she was waiting to get pregnant or when she found out she was pregnant but it's just hitting me. Things hit me in stages. When we found out we were pregnant and then the surprise of twins, I think I was still trying to believe that I had someONE inside of me. SomeoneS I should say. :) But now that the belly is growing and there is no denying it's not just holiday cookies and treats, it's two little lives growing up inside of me.

Wowzers. God is good.

On a lighter note, I saw a lady I knew from church at the grocery store and she said, "You're really starting to show."

To which I could happily reply, "Yeah and did we tell you it was twins?"

I know I'm going to be huge and lovingly stretched to my limits but there is something nice about being able to tell people, "Oh it's twins." and it's especially nice to know it's twins when I read my "where you are at" stages in my pregnancy book and it says, "You should just be starting to notice a bump."

hahaha That makes me laugh. I'm pretty sure I had a noticeable bump like a month and a half ago. At least noticeable to me.

Anyway, hope you enjoy the pictures.

wilbur and his lady friend

2011-02-03T16:06:00.000-08:00

Wilbur has been sharing his feeder with a lady friend.

Hubs thinks they've been ...um, up to no good but I haven't seen any shady business yet.

So far, Wilbur has been a perfectly good gentleman.

and just in case anyone thinks I am exaggerating when I say that Wilbur is a picky eater, I caught him in the act of spitting out a seed. He will only eat the sunflower seeds and he spits out all the other seeds. See?

January 2011

2011-01-31T22:13:00.000-08:00

January 2011 was a very quiet and restful month for us here at the Wang household.

I didn't do much cooking because I was feeling pretty under the weather for a lot of it. But somehow I still managed to try some new recipes out.
I made these amazing blueberry muffins from Liz! Sooo delicious. Even Hubs thought they were pretty good. How could I tell? Oh, just the quarts upon quarts that kept showing up in my refridge with Hubs gently nudging me saying, "They'll go bad if you don't do something with them."
Sheesh. But I can't complain. :)
I also really enjoyed improvising with my crock pot, noodles, chicken and alfredo sauce. Doesn't sound very adventurous but Hubs and I hit our grocery budget mid-way through the month (a prego gals gotta eat) and I needed to make due with what we had in the cupboards.
It was super easy and tasty.
I also, by the way, redeemed my egg bake fiasco from last year. I searched all over for that blog but I couldn't find it. I'm wondering if I just put it on facebook at that time in my life.
I'll never do that again, blog. I love you way more than facebook.
Anyway, last year, I accidentally dropped an egg bake (casserole) in the alleyway and shattered it on our way to feeding 30 some student leaders. Instead of just throwing it away and moving on, I stood there like a goose, sobbing over my egg bake.
I can imagine that turmoil now that I am crying every second or so from the raging hormones but I can't imagine what was happening to me then? Tired? Frustrated? Emotional?
Probably all three.
The incident was so tramuatic I called my mother who was with my grandma and my grandparents sent me a check for a new pyrex and a note advising me to get one with a carrying case. The love of Grandparents knows no end. I don't know what I would do without my Grandparents digging me out of rough patches like egg bake fiascos.
Well, that was last year. This year I made not just one but TWO egg bakes (or breaks as my friend Alicia likes to call mine) and sent them merrily on their way to the student leaders meeting. Once they were out of my hand I seriously considered popping the cork of sparkling cider (for the babies sake) and celebrating. Even if they had smashed themselves to bits and pieces getting out of the car, I had done my part.
Don't you just love a story of redemption?
I know I do.

In January, I read... a lot.
The list includes:
Prince Caspian: Book 2 in The Chronicles of Narnia
The Voyage of the Dawn Treader by C. S. Lewis (Book 3 in the Chronicles of Narnia)
The Silver Chair (The Chronicles of Narnia, Full-Color Collector's Edition)
The Horse and His Boy (The Chronicles of Narnia, Full-Color Collector's Edition)
The Magician's Nephew: The Chronicles of Narnia
The Last Battle (Narnia)
and on a slightly different note
The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini

Overall, I enjoyed my books. Of course, I cannot ever come to the end of the Chronicles without shedding a tear and yearning to be with those that I love. The end of the Last Battle is how I picture heaven and how I hope for things to be. Running and adventuring through a land that seems so oddly familiar and yet more beautiful than words can express. Old friends around every corner who are at the peak of their youth, waiting for you with open arms to welcome you home.
*sigh* I love Narnia.

The Kite Runner was an alright read. I think I would have enjoyed it more if I was not in the bowels of an emotional meltdown. I sobbed for quite some time after finishing the book.
Pregnancy or the book? Who knows.
It was tragic but gave hope for "ordinary people" to do extraordinary things.
I did read the book in almost one whole day, so I think that speaks to how it captured my attention from the beginning. I simply could not put it down. I was drawn in and captivated by the author's description of life for these young boys.

Other than that, Hubs and I have just been creating a to-do list for the next six months or so of time. But for now, we're enjoying the last little bit of our January.

Twinkies

2011-01-30T17:55:00.000-08:00

It's okay, if you have no idea what you are looking at. It is REALLY hard to see, especially in this photo what "it" is but what they are is two sacs which hold our two little babies.

That's right. Hubs and I are expecting twins.

We found out we are pregnant over thanksgiving and got to share the VERY early news with my family which was such a blessing for me. But then a couple weeks later we had to call them all up again and tell them, "Oh and actually our doctor told us today that there are TWO."

And if you can't see the little babes I'm willing to bet you can read the "header" which our doctor kindly put there for us.

"Hi Mommy and Daddy! Surprise!"

and what a surprise it really was for us.

I think Hubs just took it as calmly as he usually receives news. I, on the other hand, have been everywhere. It's hard for me to comprehend that there are two little babies inside of me. I feel slightly overwhelmed in a good way. An undeserved blessing to first of all, get pregnant and then to have twins which we are ecstatic for.

My friend Deb told us that God gives us what He knows we can handle and gives us the children He wants to entrust us with. That really comforted me and gave me a confidence in the Lord that I can do this. Not by my strength but by His strength and His spirit I can be a mother to twins.

So we're taking it one day at a time.

And laughing about things as they come up.

Here's answers to some frequently asked questions and I'm sure I'll have more stories to share as the days and weeks go by. Just wanted to share the initial story with you as the word is finally out.

And of course, if you have any other questions, please ask and let me know. I have a feeling the love of talking about my children will only grow as they are born and get older.

How far along are you/When are you due?

I am 13 weeks. Almost out of my first trimester but definitely out of the "danger zone" for miscarriages. I am due August 5th but many multiple babies come early so we're praying that they wouldn't come any earlier than mid-July.

Do twins run in your family?

Actually twins run in my extended family but when I asked my doctor if this was why he wouldn't really give credit to my family history. I think genetics may have something to do with it but he said, "You're just having twins. There's no way to know how this happened." So I was surprised he said that. But yes, twins do run in both sides of my family.

Have you had any weird cravings?

Arbys roast beef sandwich... oh yum! And breakfast meats like sausage and bacon. Yum! I also cannot get enough of Japanese food. I absolutely wish I could have sushi now but doctor's orders say a big "no" to raw fish. I eat chicken katsu, miso soup, okonomiyaki, soba noodles, and gyouza. I am just starting to reintroduce mexican into my life. I was absolutely grossed out by the thought of mexican food (very sad) but can eat some of it now.

Do you know their genders?

Nope, not yet. We have to wait until Week 20 and hopefully they will cooperate with the ultrasound and give us a little peek. But we are definitely going to find out.

How are you feeling?

I am doing well. I didn't have any severe sickness. For the first couple months I felt like I had an upset stomach all day. I eat CONSTANTLY. Some nights I have to get up once or twice to eat because if I have an empty stomach I get queasy very quickly. Not fun. But I'm one of the lucky ones. I hear terrible stories of people who are sick and even have a family member who was sick her entire pregnancy. Yikes. :( But I'm starting to feel better as long as I eat. :)

How is Hubs doing with all this?

Hubs worked through a lot of "is this a good time to start a family" and questions about being a parent. This is where we are super different but where we compliment each other. If decisions are a pool, then I jump in and determine if I want to stay in the pool. Is it too cold? Do I like the pool? etc. But Hubs he likes to assess the pool, does it look like fun? He might even dip a toe in. Too cold? Then he'll stay out.

So in the pool of "should we have children" I was already doing handstands and sommersaults and all those fun pool games you enjoy. But Hubs took his time and really went to the LORD about the pool. Not that I hadn't but like I said, we're just different about decisions. So when Hubs jumped into the "should we have children" pool he had already decided the pool was going to be awesome.

And then when we found out the pool was actually for twins (am I losing you with this analogy?) Hubs was like, "why not?" whereas I was like, "Umm the water is kind of deeper here."

But in real life, it's not a pool and there is never the option to get out for us and so we are just enjoying our sommersaults and back flips and playing marco polo.

If I lost you with that analogy, in short, Hubs is doing awesome with the Twinkies. God really spoke to him about having kids in general so he never wavered when we were told it was two. I never wavered per se but I also have been dealing with my own thoughts of things. Like two cribs and two feedings and what if they are on different schedules and I never shower until they graduate high school.

But I wouldn't trade my twinkies for anyone else and I know God gave us twinkies with His hand on us. I'm thankful for His Spirit.

Thanks for reading and praying for our sweet babes. Belly shots are sure to come (ohhh man!) and stories galore. Enjoy the ride with us!

Wilbur (psst, i also cross some things off my 28 list)

2011-01-26T11:12:00.000-08:00

Earlier this month Hubs and I decided to do some yardwork... and unfortunately when I say "Hubs and I" I mean that Hubs worked really hard hacking up an old grapevine and replanting our roses and I supervised from the kitchen window. I was actually rearranging our living room (I know, again!!). I am strange. But anyway, we decided to get a small little bird feeder and see if we could attract any birds.

Trying to get birds to eat free bird seed is a lesson in patience. We had birds in our trees and birds flying above the feeder and sitting on our fence but for almost two weeks! No birds!

See? Full and free for the taking. I almost pitched this thing into the trash. I know, two weeks doesn't seem like very long but like I said, lesson in patience.

And then one day, Hubs heard a little twittering.... and it was the bird.

I'll call him Wilbur.

Wilbur had officially arrived and my heart soared to see our feeder being used by such a pretty little thing. (sorry for the awful photo~ I took it sneakily through a dirty (oops) window)

So Wilbur has arrived and our story is complete.

Or is it?

It seems Wilbur is quite the fiesty little fellow. I'm not sure if I should be happy about our little guest or not. Wilbur is very territorial. We have never seen another bird eat at our feeder and in fact, we have seen some pretty serious "bird fights" in our backyard. I'm afraid our feeder is advocating for birds to draw up gang lines and I'm not sure we want to stand for this.

So not only have we encouraged gang lines but we are also encouraging picky eating.

Wilbur will ONLY eat the sunflower seeds in our feeder and knock everything else in his way onto the ground.

What are two kind-hearted people to do with a gang associated, picky eatin' bird on their hands?

I really don't know.

But I'll be sure to let you all know when something happens.

Chances are Wilbur will tire of our boring little feeder and go find some new backyard to terrorize. I hope we haven't scarred all our other birds for life.

On a lighter and random note: I completed #5 and #13 on my list of 28 things to do this year.

I took blueberry muffins to my neighbor and Hubs and I bought a drink for the girl behind us in the drive-thru at Starbucks.

But the way I see these two, I'd like them to become habits more than just a one-time deal. So although I'm crossing them off the list, I hope to introduce them into my lifestyle.

word of the day

2011-01-25T12:24:00.000-08:00

I have a lot of thoughts rolling around in my head. There is so much I want to share with you and tell you but it's hard to find a starting point.

So I'll start with a blog I read the other day and maybe that will lead me to a point... eventually.

So I love this blog, Jones Design Company, (click on the name to get there) and the other day Jones posted this blog about being intentional but the part of her story that hooked my attention was that her friend wanted to paint the words

be intentional

above her bedroom door.

And that got me thinking...

"What word/phrase has been on my heart and would I want to put on my door frame so that I can better be reminded of what God is teaching me?"

There are so many words that float through my day that it's hard to choose just one but the most persistent two images/words that come to my mind are

sparrow and

cling

The word sparrow is on my heart these days because I recently read the verse in Matthew 10 that says, "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows." (v. 29-31) and that to me is a reminder that God, who cares for the concerns of a small little bird is much more aware of my needs.

It's comforting to me, to know that God is aware and cares for me.

And the word cling has been on my heart for quite some time. I'm not sure how long I've been wrestling with this thought but it's been since the fall. I blogged about it earlier and mentioned how Jeremiah 13:11, while a strange verse to take to heart, reads, "For as the loincloth clings to the waist of a man, so I made the whole house of Israel and the whole house of Judah cling to me, declares the LORD, that they might be for me a people, a name, a praise, and a glory, but they would not listen." And yes, I realize that perhaps in the message bible this would read "whitey tighties" but I can't help it. I was completely struck by this verse and not just how we are supposed to cling to God but how we were made to cling.

Can I get an amen?

And while we're on the topic of processing words/phrases that God gives us to reveal more of Himself can I encourage you that this thought of painting something on your doorway as a reminder, as a sign to you, is not something new. It's not even something Navigator or Joanna or Jones Design Company related.

It's totally 100% biblical. And even cooler, it's Old Testament.

Thanks to my Dad who forever remains my "go-to" for bible references and information.

Listen to this in Deuteronomy 6:4-9

"Hear, O, Israel: the LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates."

Whoa! How cool is that? The daily reminder of God's word and His promises for you is something God encourages us to do.

My Dad told me that this portion of the Word is called the "shema" and that every Jewish child was required to memorize it. Jewish people would (and perhaps still do today) touch it on their way through the doorway as a reminder to them. It's good and biblical to write ourselves reminders of God's promises. And not only write them but take them to heart and truly let them become a part of our every day lives.

I have more thoughts on this and I feel like my head is reeling but let's just leave it here for today.... let's revisit this thought of God's word being on the forefront of our minds and even written out on our walls, doorposts and more importantly, our hearts.

So what words have you been struck by, meditating on, or can't seem to stop thinking about?

What words move you and inspire you to move closer to the Lord?

26. (2) (3) (4)

2011-01-16T14:19:00.000-08:00

Some verses that have ministered to me and continue to...

*For as the sun and the snow come down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.* Isaiah 55:10-11
Good verses reminding me that God's word will accomplish His purpose.

*And your ears shall hear a word behind you saying, "This is the way, walk in it," when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.* Isaiah 30:21
A verse that is crucial for me when I step out in faith.

*Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things* Philippians 4:8
The verse that helps me focus my thoughts on things of the Spirit and the Lord and not of my own flesh and selfishness.

books.

2011-01-08T12:02:00.000-08:00

I love books. Seriously. I love books.

I love the way books smell. I love the way the way they look with their hardcover spines beckoning you from the shelf. I love that they took work and that a piece of the author is in them. Books are no easy feat I imagine.

I love how books take you to another world, how they teach, encourage, strengthen and inform you. You can pick up a book and travel to another country, to a made-up country, to someone's life, to someone's wishes, into someone's sorrows and even into their wildest dreams.

But it doesn't stop there. By experiencing books you yourself can be changed. Your dreams can reveal more about who you are and what you were made to do.

Books are so ingrained into my brain that I wanted my wedding pictures to include the bookshop where my Dad used to work and where I could get lost in the aisles of the books that smelled slightly like brown pages and love-worn covers. If you don't know what that smells like go to your used bookstore, take a deep breath and enjoy the sweet smell of hard-covered confectioneries. (And yes, I realize bookstores carry paperbacks. And I own and am not opposed to paperbacks but I just loooove hard-covered wonders!)

Books. Books. Books.

I'm naturally full of books in my brain because Mikey and I "joined" our local library.

I am ashamed to admit that the last time, I can recall, being at a library I used it for naptime. I lived off campus and the library was on campus. It was also the only place of campus to be guaranteed silent. I would snuggle up on a love seat and snooze till my next class. Of course, I used the library for studying. But I was more likely to be chatting with my friends and since chatting is frowned up at the University of Iowa's main library, I was better off just going to a coffeeshop.

So here I returned, to the local library and man, talk about being a fish out of water!! Do libraries still use the Dewey decimal system? Remember those film strips? I remember that Dewey was a worm, right? Oh, gosh, I guess he's a worm in my memory. I remember we had to watch how the libraries are arranged and set-up in elementary school probably to avoid youngsters trashing the place.

When I walked through the door I felt like that elementary student again, I seriously felt so ridiculous. I was secretly hoping they'd give us a tour or orientation or something to help me figure out where to even start in the library. Alone I thumbed my way through different subjects and titles, perused the magazine aisle and dvd section, made my way across the computers and ended up finding, on the way out the door, the crafting section.

So many options. I can visit so many places and people for free at the library.

But now I'm at a loss.... so because I have a library at my disposal I would like to ask you....

What book or books would you recommend reading?

I'm eager to dig my way through the dewe... I mean the computer system and find some books. I'll take old classics or new treasures. I'll take fiction or non.

Got any book recommendations?

December 2010 in January...oops!

2011-01-04T20:49:00.000-08:00

I'm doing a review.... a little late but better late than never.

December was an interesting month with lots of new emotions. Mikey and I made Christmas our own and were graciously offered many invitations to different events and to all of you who extended an invitation to us, we're so thankful for you.

We got a Christmas tree. Mikey's first and my first as a married woman. We decorated our home and even had a few gifts under the tree from Santa. :)

This month was filled with resting. Both Mikey and I have been under the weather at different times and with school ending and our vacation starting we took our rest seriously and did a lot of things as close to home as possible.

Cooking looked like diving into family traditions. Something new I tried to make myself was my Grandma Schupbach's chicken casserole. It was really fun to make it myself!

This month I crafted some new little baby gifts but I can't tell you anymore because my family/friends who are expecting may read this and ruin the surprise. :)

And reading... well, since I rested a lot I read a lot. It was a wonderful month for stories.
My Life in France by Julia Childs
Whose Body? (Lord Peter Wimsey Mysteries) by Dorothy L Sayers
Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis

I'm working my way through the Narnia series. It's been a lot of fun to remind myself of how good a writer that Lewis was. No offense to the movies and to anyone who enjoys them but blah! They are nothing compared to the books!! Read the books first. Let your imagination come alive! Don't watch the movies!

Okay, now that I am off my soap box I will move on (seriously, read the books!). This year I am not setting any new years resolutions because as I said in September my year "begins" then and I set some really high and lofty goals for this year. So, to keep me on target and to remind ya'll (if you want reminding) I put my goals on the side with an asterisk next to the ones I've finished.

**ahhh, i just finished writing the list on the side and oh no! I have a lot to do the next nine months. Okay, September, come slowly!!**

Happy January to everyone.

A New Years Resolution Worth Making

2010-12-28T21:05:00.000-08:00

One of the things that should be making your resolution list, if you are a follower of Christ's, is to have a consistent quiet time. It's not as hard as you may think to have some consistency in your daily walk with God. I know that it is hard for me when I don't like having a schedule. But when something is important I've realized I'm willing to make time for it. And nothing is worth more than making time for God.

An easy way to ease into quiet times, if you aren't used to them is a Navigator old school tip called "7 minutes with God". 7 minutes broken down into 30 seconds of praying that God would prepare your heart, 4 minutes of reading and 2 1/2 minutes of praying back to God what you read or a simple prayer such as ACTS (Adoring God, Confessing sins, Thanksgiving and Supplication).

If you have trouble with a desire to be in the Word or applying the Word to your heart, I would simply recommend praying that to God. It may seem weird at first to pray, "God, I don't desire your Word" but taking that step and admitting and praying about your lack of desire is one step actually closer to the Lord, not further. It reminds me of the disciples when they prayed that Jesus would increase their faith (Luke 17:5) or when a boy's father prayed "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief" (Mark 9:24).
Start reading in one of the Gospels, I recommend John or Luke. Or start in Psalms. Psalms is perfect for reading through, if you're interested because you can read by the date i.e. Psalm 1 on the 1st of the month and then the next month read Psalm 31 on the 1st day. It's helpful for me to do this because then I can remember where I am at. Read an entire chapter or read a verse. It's not important how much you read, but it's more important to read until God speaks to you. Sometimes I can get "stuck" on the first verse and that's ok too. God wants to speak to you during your quiet time, so let Him.
Another thing I like to do when I read my bible is journal. It helps me to process what I just read and pray without much interruption. My mind tends to wander pretty badly, so I find that writing down my prayers helps me stay on task. If I'm thinking my prayers quietly I tend to start thinking about my to-do list before too long.

So there you go, a new years resolution you should seriously consider. I know I want to start my 2011 and end my 2011 with a more consistent time with God. And remember, it's not about checking off a plan but more important to spend time with God.

November 2010

2010-12-01T23:02:00.000-08:00

With a few hours left on December 1st, I would like to remember November.

As I sat here, gathering my thoughts, I realized what a fun, blessed and full of 28 things done month November was.

Let me tell you... ahem,

Hubs and I traveled to visit some sweet friends. The time in the midwest was full of surprises. Warm weather, a trader joe's opening, chinese pizza, ah-mazing scones, friendships that continue though distance and time separated us, beautiful fall leaves, Christmas trees, etc. etc.

I proceeded to develop my crocheting and sewing more in such fun new ways. #25 on the list. I made mittens. I made clutches. Too much fun!!

Since Hubs and I had some down time in the midwest I was able to plan and shop for the menu for Thanksgiving week with my family. Since I didn't have my trusty recipe books with me, I had to use the internet and two cooking magazines to get me through. It was too much fun and shall I say I am doing well with #11 on my list? Some of the tasty nubs included; pho (vietnamese chicken noodle soup- thanks Liz), chicken and black bean tortillas, two layered pumpkin cake (thanks alissa!!), and cham soup.

Now what is cham soup, you might be asking?

well, I will tell you. Cham soup is the greatest mistake that ever happened to me. All my recipes came from one desire... the desire to use up most of what my parents already had in their freezer and deep freeze. (The deep freeze is in the basement. Basements are what midwesterners have to store all their overhaul of things... like children (Hubs and I slept in the basement) and food (the deep freeze)). I know you sweet Californians don't have basements so I thought I'd enlighten ya!

Back to cham soup. There I was digging through the deep freeze looking for chicken broth which my mother promised we had. I found it. Took it up and started to thaw it. Hmmm.... looks interesting. The dark meat was beginning to look weirdly dark and purple. So I asked, "is this really chicken broth?" yup, my parents promised so I threw it in the le crueset (my dad has accumulated an almost entire set from ebay and garage sales. I love cooking at my parent's house!!) and proceeded to cut up the chicken and coat it in a mixture of corn starch and water and then dumped them in. When I lifted the lid I noticed something... the dark pieces of meat where actually... ham like. And so it was. The best mistake to ever happen to me. Chicken noodle soup with just a smack of ham in it. (anyone?)

It was probably the best hearty soup we have ever had and I deemed it cham soup. If you want more details on the recipe, let me know.

Then my family and I gathered and I always look forward to those moments. I love to hear the giggles of the children and the either indepth or foolish bantering between my brothers. Most times a conversation contains both. I love that my sisters (in-law) trade advice back and forth about babies, husbands, food and beauty. I love that we play games and pretend to have energy after the children are asleep. I love that from the first floor we can hear a sweet voice (2 yrs) singing "Go Tell it On the Mountain" and another (3 yrs) answer back, "Stop it!" and it's not mean. It's just that the singing has gone on... and sleep must come.... eventually.

I love that my family trades books and websites, authors and stories as easily as others swap handshakes. I love that Hubs fits in and has easily found his own place.

Time in the midwest was good. I had a lot of poetic moments and memories flood my heart from time to time. I love visiting places that remind me of my childhood. I don't often get to visit the old town where I spent a lot of my childhood. I don't get to drive the fifteen minutes into town from where I grew up and I don't get to pass the sweet house, tucked back between two hills where my best friend lived. I don't get to go there often and I know I'll be scolded because I should. I just should.

But time, money, travel and life passes me by and so when I get the chance to visit a place where I remember my childhood I quickly take a hold of it and squeeze all the juice of love, life and laughter out of it.

One of those places for me is Mattoon, IL. That town has barely changed and my Grandparents home with it since my mama was a baby. I love that I know my way around town. That when I pull into the drive I can see, in my mind's eye, my brothers riding the tandem, one of them up in a tree and my cousin out in the lawn. I love that the dolls my nieces play with are the same I did and before me, my mama. I love that there is a little corner where my Grandaddy's grocery store used to stand. I love that this town hangs yellow ribbons from their light poles with the names of those in the armed forces through downtown. I love that when I ride through downtown I feel like Miss Bagelfest 1992 when she rode down that street on her parade float. Well, I don't remember if there was a Miss Bagelfest but yes, there was a festival for bagels because Lender's Bagels was made there. I love that my mama taught me to drive stick on the streets surrounded by corn a "block or two" from her home. I love watching the school buses go by and hearing my Grandma talk about how when my mama used to ride those she was the first one picked up in the morning and the last one dropped off (because they lived on the edge of town) and my mama would always fall asleep and the bus driver would always have to wake her up. I love that if you pull the kitchen door just so, you can see the names and heights of all the grandkids growing up through the years. I do not like that I am the same height I was when I was 16. Why did I stop? I love that the tile seems to be the same, the wallpaper and the furniture. In my mind I can see my mama getting ready for all her dates, her wedding and bringing home her first born baby to this house....

I meant to tell you about November... but it seems November meant more to me than recipes and clutch patterns. Oh I love that I sew and cook and that I am slowly learning to carry on traditions but I think I love more that what November gave to me was moments and memories like those above.

Words, although I tried, cannot do justice to what a wonderful and blessed month this was. I will always treasure November 2010.

the look of happiness

2010-11-23T08:25:00.000-08:00

oh the sweetness of a nephew!

Can being an auntie get any better?

Cultivating

the nursery

a love

Hubs for hubs

6 months!

guess who?

i *gulp* took a step

one of those

one word (a copycat)

ing & pictures

and every mother's child....

5 Months

The 3 C's

the heart of it

the best medicine

oh for grace

4 Months Old

honest motherhood

three. months. later.

questions

eucharisteo

the. list.

four years ago

2 months and a day change

hard to believe

for my daughters

wanna snuggle?

some kids....

celebrate

New Season..

June 2011

34 Weeks

the twenty-first of june

26 (9)

new eyes

26 (8)

26 (7)

26 (6)

26 (5)

May 2011

Thai Chicken Satay (12)

30 weeks

Inging

and baby makes three...

the last little bit... of a birthday

from the book to the canvas

blessed

April 2011

26 weeks & babycation

sometimes i drool

moods and memorization

24 weeks

crafty time

tradition (to be sung to the tune of the Fiddler on the Roof song)

overrun... with a thought

sweetness

shocked my mama

March 2011

rose colored glasses

Chicken Week Recipe #4 & 5 (12)

originally

Chicken Week Recipe #3 (12)

Chicken Week Recipe #2 (12)

a secret...(chicken week (12))

brown paper packages tied up with string...

18 weeks and a lesson in what not to say to a pregnant woman...

February 2011

something interesting...

a recipe to make for dinner... (12)

steaks with herb butter (12)

the pregnant mind

as promised

wilbur and his lady friend

January 2011

Twinkies

Wilbur (psst, i also cross some things off my 28 list)

word of the day

26. (2) (3) (4)

books.

December 2010 in January...oops!

i gulp took a step