Friday, October 14, 2011

three. months. later.

(Annalie and Maribelle)
 I can hardly believe it's been three months.
Part of me wants to say, "only three months" but it has truly flown by.
Maribelle and Annalie or Belle and Li Li are truly a blessing in our lives.  I can't imagine my life without them and I don't even want to try.
This month we spent the entire time in Illinois with my family getting some r&r and help with the girls.  It's been such a HUGE blessing that I thank God for every day and tell Him how undeserving I am to have had it.  It's not quite over though we are in the final week and a half.
It's going to be crazy going home to California.  I know I will still need lots of help because it's quite exhausting caring for them.  We want to get to a place where Hubs isn't Mr. Mom any longer but right now that is a role he is in.
If you want to help us out and are in the area, let me know.  I could use help every day!
This month the girls discovered their hands, love to suck on them and are soooo close to getting their thumbs. They are talking and interacting more which is so much fun.  They smile and love when you coo back at them. They're little flirts with their Daddy and their Grandpa but they're not too scared of strangers.  They'll flash you a smile if you're good to them.
They've started sleeping through the night (10:30-7AM ish) sporadically and actually not the same night. ha ha
Maribelle slept through the night for the first time on October 9th (yes, I remember! I was thrilled) and then again the next night but Annalie didn't. Then Maribelle and Annalie both woke up together the 11th.  Both girls slept through the night 12th but that was because we had a long day traveling to visit family and then Annalie slept through the night last night (13th) but not Maribelle.
Small steps, I guess.
But I'm thankful for any rest we can get.
This month I've officially thrown out "the book" which is to say that struggling to get my girls to follow a book and do what the book says wasn't working and was stressing me out.  I'm realizing that all advice from books and people must be taken, evaluated to what I think is best and then either discarded or tried. And if something doesn't work, then "cest le vie"!
I need to stress less and enjoy more.  This will be easier when I have more rest in my daily life but for now I am reminded constantly that stress is no good!!

(Belle and Li Li)
Please continue to pray for us and pray for my transition back to California.
What sweet little babies! My heart melts!

Saturday, October 08, 2011


Jesus said to them, "I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger; and whoever believes in me shall never thirst... This is the bread that came down from heaven, not as the fathers ate and died.  Whoever feeds on this bread will live forever."
John 6: 35, 58

What does it look like to "come to" Jesus?
 Is it getting a good quiet time in or is there more to it than that?  Is it physical?  Is it spiritual or is it both?  Can you have something on your heart or is it better to be open?
Can you be surrendered to His will but also have a question you want answered?
Can I be open to any outcome?

What does it mean to no longer hunger?  And for what do I hunger for?  Have I ever felt satisfied?  Is there a satisfaction this side of heaven?  Do I come to you, hungry, longing? Or do I come to you already full?

Am I longing for the wrong desire?  Am I longing to feel full rather than to feel You?

I remember feeling lost after the season ended so long ago and how it's been hard to regain a passion and vision since then.  Is that because the season was my desire and my longing instead of You?
I will never feel lost or unsettled if I long for and find my satisfaction in You...