Tuesday, November 29, 2005

I heart the Air Force!

I would like to give a "shout out" to my Air Force friends~ those in and those who were formally a part of the AF.
Today my father and I ventured to Chicago. We took care of my VISA for Japan. But then the adventures began as we went to visit my Grandpa Icenogle in the Hines Blind Rehabilitation Center. My Grandpa took part in the greatest war this world has known, World War Two. Actually he was over in Japan for the signing of the peace treaty. He was a photographer and was even on the cover of Time Magazine with a caption that said something to the effect of "Shooting at the Same Target" which was under a picture of my Grandfather and a Japanese photographer both capturing the "beginning" of peace on film. He is at Hines right now learning how to use email and the computer through the Center which will equip him with special magnification computer programs. It's pretty cool. While we were there Grandpa showed my father and I the stone that Grandma had "bought" for him (the above picture). I had to take a picture of the stone to capture the lump of pride I felt in my throat. I am so proud of my Grandpa.
The other picture is of the memorial which stands in Clear Lake, WI. My brother Jordan will forever etched into that stone for the service he did in the post-desert storm operations. (Jordan if I got that wrong, just let me know) :)
Both Jonah and I have sought after Jordan's name, just to trace his name with our fingers and pay our respects. It's funny because Jordan has never seen it, except through pictures.
I come from a family that is proud of this country and has fought to protect it. This is a special "thank-you" to Jordan and Grandpa Icenogle, I am so proud of you two and love you both very much.
And to Matt, soon it will be your turn to "venture" beyond the gates of the Academy. Enjoy and make the most of this time... soon you'll be using all you have learned.
I am proud of you guys!

Monday, November 28, 2005

Further In! Further Up!

I decided last night that the name of my Japan newsletters would be "Further In! Further Up!"

This came to me as I was riding home in the car from Thanksgiving in Denver. I was thinking of verses that I was claiming from the Bible for this season. And I thought of Isaiah 55. I have been meditating on that chapter for the past two months. There is just so much from that one chapter alone that I want to claim that it would take a long time for me to explain how the Lord has used that chapter in my life.

But the verses that have spoken to me the most are verses 8-9 which say, *“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”*

I like those verses because they speak of how high God's ways are and how even our best plans for ourselves are nothing in comparison with what God desires for us. I love the thought that God has something bigger in store for me than what I could picture or even plan.

These verses go with the line "Further In! Further Up!" spoken by Aslan in C.S. Lewis's The Last Battle which is the last book of the Chronicles. Aslan dashes off into the "new Narnia" and challenges the other characters to chase after him and explore their new home.

I always pictured Aslan challenging the children (who are now grown~ tear) to grow out of what they had previously loved to experience something greater. It's about being stretched and allowing the Lord to stretch and grow you. It's saying goodbye or "no" to something good to allow God's best in.

That's scary, huh? I don't know what God's best is... in fact, sometimes I think life can't get any better than how it's going at that moment... but when He asks me to be moved, be stretched... I want to say yes.

A song that I love (thanks Brannan for reminding me) is by Sara Groves. (editor's note: Her Conversations cd is excellent in my opinion). She sings the following:
Great is thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me

Morning by morning I wake up to find

The power and comfort of God’s hand in mine
Season by season I watch Him, amazed
In awe of the mystery of His perfect ways
All I have need of, His hand will provide
He’s always been faithful to me.

I can’t remember a trial or a pain
He did not recycle to bring me gain
I can’t remember one single regret
In serving God only, and trusting His hand
All I have need of, His hand will provide
He’s always been faithful to me.

This is my anthem, this is my song
The theme of the stories I’ve heard for so long
God has been faithful, He will be again
His loving compassion, it knows no end
All I have need of, His hand will provide
He’s always been faithful,
He’s always been faithful,
He’s always been faithful to me.

Friday, November 25, 2005

Leaving...

I just wanted to let everyone know, all my faithful readers... that I have purchased my plane ticket for Japan.

I am leaving the 14th of December and will arrive in Tokyo the 15th of December. Crazy huh? (crazy in a good way)

Although I am very excited and have been waiting for this opportunity for many years I am also realizing I may go through a grief process. The people at the Navigators said that there would be a grief process leaving the States... although I believed them then I didn't think it would happen to me. I thought I would beat down the door to Japan...
Some things I'll miss...

my father making coffee in the morning
Jordan and Rochelle five blocks away, having the best of friends in them
Scrabble with my Grandma
Lenora's first two years
my Mother and I sharing girl stories
time with friends in Iowa City and Lincoln
Jeremy's humor and Alaina's warm hospitality
Becca's hugs and Jonah's thought-provoking questions
fires in the fireplace in the family room
snow
being able to call certain someones anytime I feel like it

But!
Some things I look forward to

learning Japanese (seriously)
learning to cook fun meals
new friendships
working with the Roods, the Hayes, and Mary Vacha (yee-haw)
karoke till the wee hours
sharing my heart
laughing
learning about a new culture

Although, it's true I am leaving... I know that I take so many good memories and lessons in my heart to share with my new friends. I know that you, who have touched my life, will impact a little bit of my heart in my new home. And when I return I will have a little bit of Japan to share with you!

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Philippians 4




To my girls: Nox, Laura, Pepping, Rachael, and Katie...

*Therefore, my brothers, you whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, that is how you should stand firm in the Lord, dear friends!
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles. Moreover, as you Philippians know, in the early days of your acquaintance with the gospel, when I set out from Macedonia, not one church shared with me in the matter of giving and receiving, except you only; for even when I was in Thessalonica, you sent me aid again and again when I was in need. Not that I am looking for a gift, but I am looking for what may be credited to your account. I have received full payment and even more; I am amply supplied, now that I have received from Epaphroditus the gifts you sent. They are a fragrant offering, an acceptable sacrifice, pleasing to God. And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.
The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. Amen.*
(pieces of Philippians 4)

I miss you guys like crazy. I was reading Philippians 4 and was thinking of you all. Thank you for meeting all my needs, like the Philippians church, my needs of friendship, love, accountability, strength, and Jesus. Thank you for showing me Jesus. Thank you for your teachable hearts and forgiving me as I humbly led you. I was thinking of our two years together and how much I miss our weekly times of accountability. Stand strong in the Lord, my beloved girls. I love you more than you'll ever know.

faithfully yours,
jks

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

I want Jesus!


I was clearing out the fitting rooms in the GAP today when I glanced in the mirror and there they were, my eyes. This shouldn't be a surprise to anyone, least of all me, that there my eyes were on my face, where they had been for the last 23 years. But it wasn't a shock to see my eyes, it was a shock to see the sadness and some wisdom behind them. Maybe not the kind of wisdom that is gained through years of learning but the kind of wisdom that is gained through years of living.

It's true that my eyes were a little crazy that morning because I had managed to cry twice before I even made it to work at ten a.m. so of course there was some quiet stillness in them. It took me as surprise that my eyes could look the way they did. In fact, it shook me up that I decided right then and there I would dedicate a blog to my eyes and write it when I got home.

Today I was reading Os Guinness's "THE CALL" and I was inspired by a paragraph he wrote early in the book. Guinness says this, "The secret of seeking is not in our human ascent to God, but in God's descent to us. We start our searching, but we end up being discovered. We think we are looking for something, we realize we are found by Someone. ... What brings us home is not our discovery of the way home but the call of the Father who has been waiting there for us all along, whose presence there makes home home."

Wow! Seriously! That is fabulous. And with that said, I begin to think of my own yearning for a home and for a sense of belonging. The tears that were shed this morning were for a "hope not seen". I had been reminded of a wound that I had carried for many years before the Lord healed me. But just as a physical wound can scab over and heal, a scab can still be picked. And that's how I felt today, that my heart had been "picked".

When my dad prayed for there to be healing for my friend, I couldn't even join him in his prayers. Not that I didn't want to pray but I couldn't speak without crying and I told my father, "I can't even imagine sitting with my friend and being able to "just be" with her." Things have been so bad for so long that I had forgotten my love for her. I miss her. I have a yearning for there to be restoration in our relationship. I desire first and foremost for her to be restored and reminded of her first Love, but I desire to see the laughter and the joy that once danced in her eyes.

I hope I don't offend anyone with comparing this to a movie but it reminds me of the third LORD OF THE RINGS (Return of the King) when Sam asks Frodo if he remembers the shire and Frodo says, "No, Sam... I can't recall the taste of food... nor the sound of water... or the touch of grass..."

And that is how I felt this morning. I felt that I couldn't remember her laughter, our secret conversations and childhood games of pretend. But God is good to remind me of the word: IMAGINE.

Last summer I had memorized Ephesians 3:20 *Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us* to cling to the promise of asking BIG things from a BIG God and today the Lord reminded me of that word, IMAGINE. Even though I couldn't imagine a time of healing and couldn't possibly imagine how the Lord would do it, He said to me this morning, "As bad as you want healing and restoration, I want to do it immeasurably more."

And just as Sam flung Frodo on his back as if he didn't weigh a thing, I will pick you up and carry you to Jesus. I won't come pridefully as if I did it on my own but humbly on my knees. I will take you to Jesus through my prayers.

I long for Jesus. I want Jesus. I long for Heaven and the end to tears, torment, and pain. I long for their to be restoration and healing. I long for laughter that never ceases and joy that bursts from our souls. I want Jesus. But as I say that I am reminded of the "job" given to us as Believers that is not yet finished. Jesus commanded before leaving his disciples for his message of restoration, hope and eternal life to be sent forth and not to remain in their own lives but to go out. *Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.* Matthew 28:19-20

There is work to be done until then, every tribe, tongue, and nation will hear the name of Christ and be represented at the throne at the end of times...

Revelation 7:9 *After this I looked and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and in front of the Lamb. They were wearing white robes and were holding palm branches in their hands.*

*Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised. For "Yet a little while, and the coming one will come and will not delay; but my righteous one shall live by faith, and if he shrinks back my soul has no pleasure in him." But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and preserve their souls* Hebrews 10:39

*And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death* Revelation 12:11

So whether I am in Illinois or Tokyo (see above photo) I will work for this restoration and hope that Jesus offers. Whether I travel great distances or cross the street to reach out to my neighbor, I want to see the Great Commission finished in this generation. I long for the day when all my tears will be gone and laughter will once again dance behind these eyes of mine. I want to see people from every nation, tribe and tongue proclaiming the name of our Father.

I want Jesus.