Wednesday, January 27, 2010

never an organized person

I was never really an organized person. In fact, I scoffed at people who kept to-do lists and schedules neat and organized. Oh, sure i bought planners. Thye beckoned to me from their shelf at Barnes and Noble, Borders, bookstores and mall kiosks. I would pick them up, flip through their white pages and dream of keeping a planner of my life's (very exciting) events. Then I would buy lovely white unfilled out planner, put it in my purse where I would carry it for about 3.25 months and then take it out, dust it off and put it on my shelf where it remained pretty much untouched. Oh sure, the first two weeks of January were filled out lovingly but then the rest of the pages remained... white... and sparse.

I like the thought of planners but I never liked having to answer to my planner.

that is. until. now.

Since getting married I've had to forgo my careless and forgetful life. I enjoyed the first month of watching my husband carry out the laundry wandering, "Why is he carrying that load of... what is that?" And then it hit me. I can't simply live in the dreamlike oblivious state where I normally exist. If I am going to be a homemaker (which I want to be) I have to exit the fantasy life of "I'll-do-laundry-when-i-feel-like-it" and "dinner-hmmm-i-guess-i'll-eat-cereal" where I've existed off and on for 26 years.

Now I have to live in the world of meal planning, grocery shopping with a purpose (and not just meandering around talking on my cell phone although i do get some meaningful time with my long-distance girlfriends while I aimlessly walk through the aisles), keeping up with laundry (two times a week!!?!) and cleaning that little room I never go into much less think about during the day unless it's time to shower or ... go potty.

Don't get me wrong. I want to think about these things and be mindful of them. I just never had to. I did my laundry when it started to fall over onto my roommates side of the closet. I made fun meals when I was in the mood and then ate cereal when I didn't feel in the mood. I lived a very self-centered life.

Ha ha! I just had a little thought while writing that of serving on my Grandma's china a fancy dinner of cereal. I wonder what M would say?

M? What would you say?

Anyway, where was I going with this? Oh yes, the planner. Well, folks. I now own, have filled out (with multiple pretty colors) and depend on my planner. It gets worse.

I also was inspired by passionate homemaking blog (see right hand side for link) to make a daily to-do list with scripture to a. keep me focused on what to do and b. remember a key verse from scripture.

She has two kids. I have none.

Lord help me if I ever decide to add to this family. I may never enter dreamworld where the laundry folds itself again.

Future kids, do you want cereal for dinner?

Tuesday, January 26, 2010


While minding my own beeswax and finishing up my bible study for our training time, I was suddenly caught up in a whirlwind.

Let me back up... the bible study is on "God's Sovereignty" and while finishing up I got to the "personal application" part that asked, "What are some ways it would affect your life if you trusted God more for His sovereignty?" and whoosh! Whirlwind.

Out on the computer screen tumbled fears and different things that would change if my heart was at rest. But you see? My heart is not at rest. Instead I am filled with fears that I didn't realize were so on the forefront of my mind until my fingers started typing and wouldn't stop until my heart was unloaded.

Here are some things that would change and I pray do change as I learn to trust God in His Sovereignty...
If I trusted God more, I would trust my husband more and I would encourage him instead of criticizing his decisions. I would trust that he is trusting God instead of wondering.

If I trusted God more, I wouldn't think things like, "What if I have a baby in a foreign country and something goes wrong with me/the baby and I can't understand whats happening?"

If I trusted God more, I wouldn't fear death. I would fully believe it is the hope and beginning of life as the Bible teaches us and not what it feels like, the end.

If I trusted God more, I wouldn't have fears or I would know to silence them sooner instead of letting them grow and turn into tears and heartache.

If I trusted God more, I would be more gracious and compassionate towards others. I would be generous and loving. I wouldn't complain about where I'm at in life but would embrace all the fun adventures that life is giving me in the present.

If I trusted God more, I would see sin and lies as they are~ messages from the enemy who seeks to steal, kill, and destroy and not as possibilities that God is holding out on me.

If I trusted God more...
If I trusted God....

Doing this bible study has been good for me to see how needy of grace I am. Forgive me Lord for not trusting You in Your sovereignty. Teach me to walk in your ways and to embrace the life you have given me. Without grace I would be paralyzed to trying anything in life. I wouldn't take risks, make new friendships or even write this blog. I'd want to self-protect and preserve my life by hiding in my bed all life long.

I'm tired of being scared... it's time to start walking in the Truth that I serve the One who holds all things in His hand.

*The thief comes only to steal and kill an destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.* John 10:10
*What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? ...For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.* Romans 8:31-32,37-39

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Healthy Dose of Humility

Some times I'm just not as cool as I like to think I am...

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Passionate Homemaking

Katie Gibbs clued me into this fun new blog... Passionate Homemaking.
Go here...
Passionate Homemaking

She is also having a giveaway! Go here for that!!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010


Mikey and I were struck by the seemingly insensitivity of the reporter during a CNN report on the earthquake in Haiti.

A little girl was trapped under a collapsed building and as workers debated desperately about what to do, the reporter stood next to her two little legs that stuck out and did his report. I was aghast with the reporter and said so to Mikey.

Yet, the more I think of it, the more I realize that I am like this reporter, though I sit here in my nice warm townhouse (complaining about not having enough room for a sewing machine).

Lord, forgive me for not having the compassionate eyes to see people the way you see them. Lost, hurt and shepherdless.

May we all take time in our day-to-days and pray for the people of Haiti whose lives have been changed in an instance with this tragedy... and may we and I, most of all, have the eyes to see not only those in Haiti but the hurting ones all around us.


tapped into my gifting

Do you ever have a task where you come alive and you think, "THIS! This is what I love to do!"

I've had a couple of those moments recently where projects that I am working on where I am just coming alive and I feel like i am really tapping into my gifting.

Projects like helping with the women's conference little details. For example, I am doing a "walk through" of what the facility looks like tomorrow and I get to brainstorm about what "details" would make the women who attend feel special and loved.

I love this sort of thing. I love thinking about table decorations, gift bags, possibly going to the flower district in LA to hunt down flower deals and minute little details that may go unnoticed but are so important to have around.

Women can't just meet in a room with white walls, white tablecloths, and blah-ness! We need life and energy flowing through the room and I get to help create it.

I've been having so much fun.

Other things that have energized me are the daydreams of getting a sewing machine. I've decided to make it my 2010 year goal. By the end of this year, I hope to have a sewing machine and have a place to put it where I don't have to take it out or lug it around. :)

I found this book while perusing Barnes yesterday *and so help me, I can not recall the title of it* and absolutely drooled over it. It was all about homemade sewing projects such as; baby slings, purses, reusable grocery bags, wall decorations, rugs for the kitchen and for the bathroom, among other things.

My wonderful husband who understands my need to express my creativity by taking on seventy-two projects at once offered to buy the book for me. But *sigh* I need to get a table so that I can get a sewing machine so that I can get the book.

Until then, I will continue to tap into my gifting by various ministry projects, making a home and cooking for my husband. :) All of which are things I absolutely love to do.

What are things that tap into your gifting? Do you love to paint? Write letters? Sing? Play an instrument? What things thrill your heart?

Tuesday, January 12, 2010


I am going crazy. In our little townhouse which I love for many reasons there is one thing I am continually saddened by. No "my own" space.

It's true, we have an office, which I gladly gave up to my husband because he needs his "own space" much more than I do. Besides I don't want to hole away from the world somewhere (I'm not that introverted!). I just want a cute little desk somewhere that I can call "my own" but still have it where the party's at. A little "my own" space in the living room would be great because I can have "my own" without bothering others. Ohhh I'm drooling right now over the thought of writing at a desk, making grocery lists, patching up my pants (and Steven's) all there, right there at "my own". Right now I have piles of books, letters, stationary, cookbooks, pretty writing utensils, yarn and sewing lying around in mod podges because I have no place to call "my own".

I am on the hunt for a small (because I have no room to have a "my own") desk or table that would fit in our living room, in the corner, where I can decadently throw my goods on and not worry that there's no room to eat, live or exist. I need "my own" space.

Do you have your own space? Your own room? Your own desk? How do you organize?

Monday, January 11, 2010


I've realized something about myself recently.

I'm pretty naive and I'm fairly simple. Oh, don't get me wrong there are moments where I can get uppity about things unfortunately. But I've realized I'm fairly simple and I like simple things.For instance, I like being considered a "homemaker" and just now am realizing all the implications that means. Sometimes I toy with the idea of working just to "get out" and meet people because I'm so social but I love the fact that God has provided for us and that I can stay home and minister from our home.

I love that I grew up in the country. I love that it shocks people that I never saw a Starbucks til college. I love that my Grandma sends me Country magazine.
I love that homemade bread is one of the best smells to me in the whole world. Sure, I love going to the mall, spritzing a little D&G on me and smelling like a million dollars but there is nothing like the smell of bread to warm the house on a chilly afternoon.

I love that I'm fairly old fashioned. I love that my Grandmother's have passed down recipes, advice and crocheting patterns. I love that one of my favorite lessons at the nav conference was from an older woman who is a grandmother herself, who takes time to make people feel welcomed, loved and valued all by using a tray! I love that my own Grandmother taught me to crack eggs the way she learned from the depression era. I love that my other Grandma has passed on her silver candy dish and her china to me. I love using it and making the women who come through my door feel special.

I love that I'm kind of nerdy and old fashioned. That when I break out my crocheting people ask me "Isn't that an old person's hobby?" I love that I want to learn to quilt and am making it a lifelong goal to learn someday.

I love that I am still a country girl at heart. I love that among my life ambitions, I want to have children and have a home where weary people can rest and be refreshed. I love that I am trying hard to marry Asian cooking with Midwest cooking. Stir fried steak and potatoes?!?

I love that the thought of baking a cake thrills me to death. I love that I have an entire shelf (and perhaps someday an entire bookcase) devoted to cookbooks.

I love that my husband, while driving through rural California (yes it exists) asked me, "Could you live here?" and I answered after giving it much thought. "Yeah, I could live in a more rural area. I think you just adapt." And I love the thought that maybe my kids could grow up like me, without a mall next door and big backyard to play in.

I love making a home and being a little old-fashioned about it. I'm okay with not being the coolest staff member at CSULB and definitely not the coolest person in "the know". I love my friends who are and I love what they teach me about accessorizing and dressing (I love my friends) but I think what I'm trying to say is...

I love that God made me a homemaker.

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Talkin' bout a Resolution... welll, you know! We all wanna change the world!

Name that tune. Well, I did change one of the words... resolutions!

Resolutions. That's possibly on everyone's minds or has been the past week or so. Do you have resolutions? Do you like them? Do you finish them? Do you forget about yours?

I am the easiest person to make resolutions because I am a friend to almost all resolutions. I'm up to a challenge and then in July when I remember, "Ohhh yeah, whatever happened to that." I'm a quick forgiver of my resolution.

Resolutions and I get along fairly well.

So every January I make them.... I can't help it. I like the start of a new beginning. When all the world is like fresh snow blanketing a field before all the footprints and trampling muses it up. Resolutions are fun.

One of my new years resolution is to read more. So far, so good. I've read one book (technically two although I finished Old Man and the Sea before January 1st but it only took me 24 hours to read it.... to count it in my new year or not? hmmm) Anyway, I am in LOVE with Lord Peter Wimsey. If you don't know who that is, you HAVE TO find out. He's witty, charming, smart and I imagine, dashingly handsome!

So I've already finished one book and now am on the second of his escapades about Europe. He's really quite wonderful. It gives me a great sense of satisfacation knowing that not just Twilight can hold my attention and keep me up reading late at night. Whew! I'm not such a pre-pubescent reader! Praise God!

What else should I read? hmmm The reading world in my oyster and there is no one to stop me from devouring it all. Who knows what this year may bring?

What are your thoughts on resolutions and what are you going to do in 2010? I encourage you to choose something, stick to it til March and then laugh about it in July. Just kidding. That's what I do, anyway. Maybe I should make a resolution to finishing my resolutions......


Monday, January 04, 2010

Before I go...

let's upload some photos of the cutest kids in the world, shall we?
Lenora Daye (4)
Waveland (2)
Edwin (2)
Adelia (almooost 2)
Sooo cute!
How I love these little ones!

Sunday, January 03, 2010

the warm bubble I call home

(Lenora, Adelia, Waveland, Edwin)
I've noticed the last couple of trips home that I kind of wrap myself in the warm bubble that I call home. I frequently lose my cell phone and don't care, emails go unanswered, facebook goes unchecked and I sort of let things go that I normally wouldn't.
I like these things. I like this feeling that when I am home I don't have to be plugged in as much as I am when I'm "out".
Mikey calls it a vacation but I like to think of it more as being in tune with whats important.
This gives me a lot to think about as I enter into a new year.... maybe I'll take more time to be unplugged in 2010.