Tuesday, January 26, 2010


While minding my own beeswax and finishing up my bible study for our training time, I was suddenly caught up in a whirlwind.

Let me back up... the bible study is on "God's Sovereignty" and while finishing up I got to the "personal application" part that asked, "What are some ways it would affect your life if you trusted God more for His sovereignty?" and whoosh! Whirlwind.

Out on the computer screen tumbled fears and different things that would change if my heart was at rest. But you see? My heart is not at rest. Instead I am filled with fears that I didn't realize were so on the forefront of my mind until my fingers started typing and wouldn't stop until my heart was unloaded.

Here are some things that would change and I pray do change as I learn to trust God in His Sovereignty...
If I trusted God more, I would trust my husband more and I would encourage him instead of criticizing his decisions. I would trust that he is trusting God instead of wondering.

If I trusted God more, I wouldn't think things like, "What if I have a baby in a foreign country and something goes wrong with me/the baby and I can't understand whats happening?"

If I trusted God more, I wouldn't fear death. I would fully believe it is the hope and beginning of life as the Bible teaches us and not what it feels like, the end.

If I trusted God more, I wouldn't have fears or I would know to silence them sooner instead of letting them grow and turn into tears and heartache.

If I trusted God more, I would be more gracious and compassionate towards others. I would be generous and loving. I wouldn't complain about where I'm at in life but would embrace all the fun adventures that life is giving me in the present.

If I trusted God more, I would see sin and lies as they are~ messages from the enemy who seeks to steal, kill, and destroy and not as possibilities that God is holding out on me.

If I trusted God more...
If I trusted God....

Doing this bible study has been good for me to see how needy of grace I am. Forgive me Lord for not trusting You in Your sovereignty. Teach me to walk in your ways and to embrace the life you have given me. Without grace I would be paralyzed to trying anything in life. I wouldn't take risks, make new friendships or even write this blog. I'd want to self-protect and preserve my life by hiding in my bed all life long.

I'm tired of being scared... it's time to start walking in the Truth that I serve the One who holds all things in His hand.

*The thief comes only to steal and kill an destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.* John 10:10
*What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? ...For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.* Romans 8:31-32,37-39


Nicole Suzanne Farley said...

Beautiful, Jo! Thanks for sharing your heart...

Kelli B said...

Jo, do you think this is the "root" of what you shared with me the other day, of being so sad and not knowing why?

Praying for you girlie.