under construction

After nine years (with a couple breaks here and there in the midst of childbearing/raising) of this beautiful blog being my home I've decided to move to a new location... I hope you'll stay with me as I dig in deeper to all the wonderful things I am passionate about.  Connecting with people, creating beauty in this world (through diys, cooking, and learning new things) and yes, even coffee! What can I say? I'm passionate about coffee!

I'll be debuting on my nine year anniversary!

chalkboards make me happy

I am horribly obsessed with chalkboard paint.  I would like to paint everything in my home with chalkboard and then write myself funny little sayings, inspirational quotes, to-do lists, recipes, so on and so forth.

So it's not crazy that I would show you a simple way that I am incorporating different types of chalkboards into my life. :)

I took a frame (complete with backing and glass not shown here) from a thrift store. I believe it was $5 or so.  I took off the backing and took out the glass.  The glass I tossed in the trash but you could save it for other DIY projects.

I did not.

I have a problem with saving DIY projects for rainy days that never get finished during rainy days.  So bye bye glass! I need to focus on one task at a time (even though I have about forty projects half finished in the garage... gulp!).

Anyway, I painted the backing with chalkboard paint.  It was super easy and quick.  Took me about an hour to do and that's only cause I followed the directions to wait between coats. 

 Another thing I love as much as chalkboards is yarn.  Yarn makes my little diy world go round. Yay for yarns endless possibilities.

 Using my yarn and a glue gun I started to wrap the crap out of my frame.  I like my yarn sporadically wrapped and bunched in certain places... so this is not a perfectionists wrap job.

I also, just glued in areas where I felt needed glueing.  There was no rhyme or reason to my wrapping and glueing.

After it was wrapped the background/cardboard-turned-chalkboard wouldn't fit in the frame because of the yarn.  So I hot glued the backing onto the frame/yarn.  It was perfect.

 What do you think?

Pretty cute huh?

I might add flowers or different colored pieces during the different seasons.  Plus, at some point when I am inspired I will change my generic greeting... I figured "don't even think of ringing my doorbell and waking my baby or I will murder you" wouldn't be as welcoming as "welcome friends".  And since I'm exhausted generic will have to do for now.

ha!

What about you? Are you jumping on the chalkboard craze train? What have you created today?

Numbers nine, nineteen, and twenty-nine

Continuing my journey of thankfulness this week...

09: garden bounty (this week we feasted on carrots, lettuce and beets... coming soon tomatoes, more carrots, more beets, and onions)
19: living in a place where people gather (we've been lucky to have friends in and out our door as they travel to Colorado for other reasons! We love having guests!)
29: window seat for reading, people watching, weather watching and praying.

a beginning

Some time ago, I read a book by Ann Voskamp (wrote about it here, here and here) and it changed my life. Changed me so much I got a tattoo to forever remember the heart behind the book.

In a very small nutshell, Voskamp's book is about finding joy in the everyday life (the mundane, if I may call it that) by giving thanks for things in the (mundane) every day.  Seeing piles of laundry as a gift and reminder of loved ones having enough to wear, for example.*  I started counting my thousand gifts but somehow in the midst of babies, life, moving, babies becoming toddlers becoming big girls and another baby I have lost count of my gifts.

So I am beginning anew with fresh eyes to find joy among newborn life and still feeling a bit new in my community... life moments that can lead to self-pity or loneliness, I am choosing to find joy in the midst of my (mundane) life. Wanna join me? Leave a comment with the things you are thankful for today... I guarantee your life will be changed.

01: new curtains billowing in the baby's room
02: voxer and the technology to keep in touch with long distance besties
03: korean leftovers from an amazing cook and friend
04: thick rain showers that kept my garden going when I wasn't able to
05: sweet cries from the nursery that remind me of how precious life is

*Find Ann's book here...
**Join the challenge here...

Leaving

I really don't like goodbyes.

I'm terrible at them. I either don't cry or I cry too much.  I either am laughing and making it seem like it won't tear my heart a bit to leave OR I'm blubbering too much, snot dripping down my face and people are wondering if I'm going to be okay.

I do not like goodbyes.

There is so much to say and to do... so many last moments and before I know it they have all passed me by and I didn't relish in the beauty of those moments.

Life....

Life has not happened like I thought it would.  It has been harder in ways I couldn't have predicted and a HUGE blessing in other ways.

I have lived in California longer than any other place minus my childhood home.  Isn't that crazy?  It's a bit sad to me to be honest.  I didn't think I would be in California for a long time and I had a hard time adjusting so I pretty much rebelled against putting down any sort of roots for the first two (maybe more) years.  But then life happens. And babies happened.  And plural amounts of babies were not part of my plan.  Thank the Lord because I am forever changed and blessed by them.  But in the unpredictability of said plural amounts of Love Bugs I was in a good way forced to put roots down and appreciate the little roots that had grown in my heart without my knowing.

And I prayed at the beginning that I would cry leaving this place because although I couldn't see it and didn't think it would happen, I wanted to be sad to leave the place that was so hard to get used to.  I've never felt like such a foreigner in my own land and never so out of place and out of sync and like... a nerd in a place quite like I have living in California.

California has dug up the ugly parts of my heart and for that I hated it.

But now I am sad to be leaving it.  Weird, how that happens huh?

California, thank you for changing me.

recharging the batteries

*Thanks to everyone who responded to my last post! Love you all and praying for those who were honest about their own struggles!

I talked about my trip down "postpartum depression lane" and one thing that helps me when the days get hard is to do things that recharge my batteries. And recharging my batteries was one of the best pieces of advice I received when I was in the throngs of babyhood.  I'll never forget when a dear friend and fellow twins mama told me that I needed to take time every day for myself and do what was good for me! She went on to explain that for her, it was drinking a small glass of wine just to relax.  She laughed and said she'd even had a glass of wine at eleven a.m.  Judge all you want... but it helped her to face the day and relax.  Actually, better that you don't judge, cause that's just a bad habit to develop, encourage and entangle yourself in.

Anyway, I love my friend and I loved her advice.

So I'd like to talk about things that can recharge our batteries and I'd like to hear from you; what recharges your batteries when you need them filled. I especially want to hear from you introverts. I feel like introverts will have some great insight into "unplugging" and "recharging"! So let me hear them.  What are some ways you recharge?

For me... there are a couple things...
1. reading a good book.  I always try to have several books around. When I expressed to my bestie Kelli that I always read my books too quickly she suggested that I check out several books at one time.  Kelli's so smart. :) If you're stumped about what to read I suggest getting on this site Goodreads to see what your friends are reading, read through reviews and get suggestions as to what to read next.  I currently have six books to read in the month of February.  Everything from spiritual encouragements to raising chickens in your backyards.  You can't go wrong with reading a good book!

2. a night out with friends.  While I still have my flaming "extrovert" moments those are further and farther between.  So even a night out with 1 friend is still a good and necessary recharge to my batteries.

3. doing something for someone else. I need to write down a list of things I want to do and budget for them because when I take time out of my day and think of someone beside myself it helps me remember that there are others out there besides me. Disclaimer: this is different than thinking of my Love Bugs. It's good for me to think of fun ways to love them, new stickers, trips to the park, spontaneous trips to the aquarium, etc. but I'm thinking of doing things for others who aren't in my every day schedule. :) This includes care packages for friends, crochet projects for new babies and sending a beloved piece of snail mail to someone I'm thinking of.

the small things in life make me so happy

Something I've been trying to do recently
4. is to record at least one thing from the day. Something special from the day like something I saw, people I was with, things I did, moments.  Trying to capture those moments help me to not get too focused on the upsets and frustrating times.

Finally for now,
5. taking 15 minutes every day to pamper myself. Some times I do a mask, sometimes a glass of wine, sometimes I literally make a cup of tea and STARE out the window. I don't talk to anyone, I don't get on my computer, I don't do anything but relax.

What do you do? How do you relax and recharge?

responsibility & realization

I love this picture because it shows that even though I was about to enter a dark time I was at first, very excited and very full of love for my Love Bugs.

When the girls were first born I had postpartum depression.  I hesitated for the longest time calling it that because I felt like it wasn't the kind of pd that you hear about on the news.  But it was bad. for me. I would cry waking up in the morning dreading another day. I ignored friends phone calls because I didn't want to make petty conversations and didn't want to hear their cheerful voices.  I wanted to be alone and felt alone.  It was dark. I told Hubs we needed to prepare ourselves if this was the "new me". I was concerned that this would be the "mother Joanna"... always anxious, scared and weepy.  I cried every day for the first five months of the girls lives.  Every. Day.  And that is not an exaggeration. I cried every day.  My thought life went wild with crazy thoughts and I have lingering moments that can still can take me down a bad place if I'm not careful. 

Mostly my feelings related to wanting to run away and imagine "what if" things had been different.  I could rationalize away my desire to run away with the thought that if I were gone, Hubs would find a better wife.  Sounds crazy, doesn't it? And yet, I fantasized those thoughts all the time.

One of the hardest things about motherhood was the realization that I was totally responsible for two very little lives.  I wasn't able to separate the decisions of feeding and napping and swaddling or not from the decisions to homeschool, potty train, spank, let them drive a car, have cell phones, etc.  All the decisions I would be making came swooping in on me all at once and I was very overwhelmed (and very tired).

Two little lives and little faces stared at me. Sometimes they were silently wondering up at me and sometimes they were screaming or squirming.  I didn't know what they wanted and I didn't know how to give them whatever that was that they wanted.  I felt so much love for them and yet so much fear for screwing them up.  One of my closest friends and fellow twins mama JK told me, "You can not screw them up." and I literally thought of cross-stitching that on a pillow somewhere where I could see it every day.  If I hadn't been sleep deprived and living in a constant fog of "what the heck is happening" I may have actually done it.

With time and sleep has come the ability to realize that I need to face only the day that is before me and not to worry about what may or may not come.  The decision to potty train (and how), to homeschool (or not), to spank, drive, cell phones, dating (oh Lord, be near), etc. etc. etc.  ALL those decisions will come later in life and I will receive the grace when time is needed.

One of my friends once said that God doesn't give us grace for imagined fears.... and what she meant by that was, God isn't going to give me the grace to face the fears of having teenage twin daughters NOW because that is not what God is asking me to walk through TODAY.  He is giving me grace for today.

And boy, did I need it today.  The Love Bugs were in a mood this morning.  The only way to describe the mood is to italicize it.  It was a mood.  I guess bold doesn't hurt either!! And the feelings of running away came creeping up on me.  Being a mother has been one of the hardest journeys God has asked me to walk and yet, one of the greatest.  Don't get me wrong, I love my Love Bugs and I wouldn't trade all the lessons I am learning but they are difficult.

So when I am overwhelmed with responsibility I am reminded that all things are ultimately in God's hand and He was faithful to see me through the first year of the Love Bugs' life so I know He can see me through anything.


I wanted to write this to encourage you that God will see you through whatever it is you are facing.  Even when we don't feel like we are able to be faithful to God... when the road is dark and the way seems impossible. 2 Timothy 2:13 says, if we are faithless, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny himself.  It's God's very character to be faithful.  Trust and rely on Him.  He will not let you down or disappoint you.

There are days when I want to give in to the thoughts and just give up because it seems easier.  But then I do the things that "recharge my batteries" and I am able to face the moment.  If only that moment. I'd like to keep talking about this because it's one of the reasons I haven't blogged recently.  I have these little voices that tell me you all don't want to hear about this season of my life... and you know what, it's okay if you don't but it's also good for those who have been there and may be there someday. Life is good but life can be hard and when it gets tough its good to know you are not alone.  Not only does God give us His people who have gone through similar circumstances but He has also given us His Spirit who comforts us in our times.

To my 20s

Originally stolen from this friend here:

Dear 20s,

Wow! I can't believe I'm writing this letter and sending you off on a fare-thee-well of your own.  It's been amazing to look back and remember the love, laughter, sadness, and life that you gave to me.  When I endured my teen years, I think I can say I did some growing but it was mostly physical and I didn't quite know who I was or who I wanted to be so mostly I thrived in my teens because I had loving arms around me to guide me through those years.

But you, my 20s, my wonderful, beautiful 20s.  You were the first years that I really ventured out and made decisions for myself.  You were full and abundant and the perfect gift from the perfect One who knew I would need all the ups and downs you had to offer.

I learned so much about myself.  I learned that guys make good friends but its better to have girls be your best friend.  I learned that I enjoy life more when I am sharing it with someone~ preferably over a cup of something warm and delicious.  I learned that passion for a place or people is a good thing but passion for Christ no matter where you are is even better!  I learned that I love ice cream more than any other food on this planet and if I could eat it by the gallon tub, I would with no shame!  I learned that mountains are hard to climb but they are always worth the view at the top. Always.  I learned that sometimes friends and family push you but that's because they love you, believe in you, and are with you.  I learned that sometimes friends come and go in and out of your life for seasons at a time but that doesn't mean I love them or they me any less.

I learned to love. I learned loss.  I learned not to throw myself into just any old relationship but to wait for a man to pursue. And he did.  I learned that love is scary but it's good.  I learned that introverts still like people, they just express their love for people differently.  I learned to take criticism and to be hurt but to love that person who was doing their best.

I learned that I'll probably always prefer jeans and my Iowa sweats from freshmen year and that's okay. I learned that carbs are bad, no wait, they're good. No wait, they're bad. No wait, they're good. No, wait... I learned that everything we eat is made from corn and that dolphins are being tortured in other parts of the world.  I learned that I don't really like documentaries because I end up caring too much about things I'm not sure I want to "stake my flag on the hillside" for. I learned what I do want to stake my flag in and how to let others have their own hillsides.  I learned to love them anyway cause they love me anyway!

I learned to live in another country.  I learned how to take embarrassment and shake it from my shoulders.  I learned that smiling often communicates more than words. I learned that you can love people like family even when they're not technically family.  I learned to cook Korean.  I learned discomfort. I learned that friendships take work and need to be occasionally "brought into the light" to be checked up on.  I learned to celebrate other's successes and be excited for the things that you wish you had yourself.  I learned to snowboard!

I learned to feel lonely.  I learned that I hate death and all that it entails.  I learned that family is important to me and the passing on of what we have with each other to those who come after us.  I learned I am blessed to be a blessing.  I learned that I love sitting around kitchen tables sharing stories and memories.  I learned I love to bake.  I learned that when you're 20 you think you have all the time in the world and nothing bad will ever happen.  But then something happens and you realize, sadly, that life is fleeting.  I learned though, that sadness is not the end.  That depression happens but so does joy!  I learned to be depressed and to be scared but not to give up.

I learned that at the first sound of someone's voice you could immediately feel both love & fear.  I learned that some women are gifted with natural mothering instincts and some are grown into their mothering, neither one is better or worse and your baby (babies) won't know that you cried for the first six months of their lives.  Probably when they're old enough to understand that, they'll love you so much they won't care except that you were sad.

I learned that I am often times loud, I say the wrong thing, and I laugh at my own jokes but I'm comfortable with that, because that is who I am and I happen to like who I am.  I don't think I could have said that at 20 but it's a new thing God is doing and I like it.

Oh, 20s. I'm such a sap that when I woke up yesterday and knew it was my last day in my 20s, I felt sad.  Sad to be leaving you.  You've been better to me than a friend.  You've been teacher, healer, giver, and life to me.  I couldn't imagine life without my 20s.

And guess what? I'm not leaving you behind. You happen to be coming along with me as I start romancing my 30s.  I hope you'll be a good friend to my 30s and remind my 30s not to let me be too serious about things.  Growing up is good for some people but for me & you, 20s, we gotta stay young, wild and free.  None of this settling down for too long, okay? You tell my 30s that we like having adventures!

So long for now 20s. Thanks for all the memories!

five years ago

Five years ago I said "yes" to this handsome man (to date and get to know a bit better) and it's been an awesome adventure ever since.  Such fun memories have been and are waiting to be made.  I love you Hubs and am so glad you didn't want to be "just friends" even though I am pretty sure that's what you said on the phone... oh, miscommunication. You silly beast.
Hubs, you've been such a faithful and loving "boyfriend" from that day way back when.  Thanks for loving me like Christ loves the church, putting up with my shenanigans and listening to me when "I just need to talk"... You're the best!
I love you!

And I miss my lip ring. :(

the end (31)

August 31st
The simplicity challenge has had its ups and downs.
I've found that making charts and filling a binder full of great ideas doesn't make me an organized, productive person.  It just means I know how to work the printer.

Here's the overall finished product of trying to simplify life and gain some discipline;
*I rose earlier than usual.  I tried to get up every day before my family so that I could have a quiet time, check email and get organized before the rush of day.  I did fairly well in this area, praise the Lord.  I really REALLY enjoyed getting up (honestly) early.  It was wonderful to have a quiet house to myself. Sure there were days (like today) where I couldn't peel myself out of bed.  But overall, getting up early was a good habit to start and continue into September.

*I engaged with my neighbors a bit more.  Not a whole lot but I tried to stop and have conversations with them instead of passing greetings flung through the air.

*Exercise is always an area where I can grow but I've managed to get a little better and even a small step is a step.

*It was hard to stay on budget... must be better at this.

*Cleaning... hmmm... yeah, this is also an area where I can grow and be more disciplined.

I have learned that I do a good job cleaning when I have friends over.  So I would take care of cleaning and engaging my neighbors if I had them over more often.  Must think seriously about this.

It's been a good month.  Simplicity is never something I will attain in life but I can always try.

What about you? Have you learned anything on your own quest to simplicity?  Any tips or tricks to pass on to the rest of us?

hear ye, hear ye

I think we need to make more announcements with the calling out of "hear ye! hear ye!".  It seems to bring people together...

and here's something you'll really want to gather round for and sink your teeth in to. Literally.

I found this website through a friend and am hooked.  I am in love. I am making promises to this site that I can't keep but I can't help it.  They just keep coming out of my mouth like I'm a 13 year old in love for the first time.  Okay, that's not true.  But if you visit this blog you'll see why I'm head over heels in love.  A healthy & tasty & not full of "where do I get that ingredients?"... I love cooking healthy but sometimes I'm overwhelmed by the different hip terms that I am so not in tune with. You with me?

That's okay! This chica is not like that. She'll hold your hand, rock you to sleep and sing "Soft Kitty" to you if you get hurt.  Okay, that's not true either.  But she does make cooking light and healthy easy!

With all that said.  Please eat these delicious morsels, ignore the fact that I used christmas sprinkles and go over to Skinny Taste for the recipe*.

Love!

*the recipe calls for "whole wheat pastry flour"... there are several options for substituting found here (it's easy!).

(Day 06) Lessons Learned

I've already learned some lessons from the Simplicity Challenge I am embarking on this month.  For example, it was brutal getting up on Day 3 (Friday).  I seriously had trouble getting out of bed and even laid back down on the couch after an hour and a half.  My Love Bugs weren't awake yet (they slept in!) and I hadn't gotten my act together to make coffee the night before and couldn't make it in the morning because I am always afraid the grinder will wake the girls up, so I was running low on stamina that morning.

I realized sometimes the best things in life are the hardest things.

I've learned that I clean my house hoping for some acknowledgment from Hubs.  "Um, excuse me! Did you notice that shower was wiped clean before using it? Shall we take a moment to smile at our faces glistening in the wood floors?" And Hubs, if you read this, I'm not asking for acknowledgment really.  I just realized its a big motivator for what I do.  I want someone to notice how awesome I am becoming (which considering how awesome I started out at is mind blowing... ah, I am SO humble) and thank me for my hard work.

I realized the "amish" life is a life behind the scenes.

I've learned that saying I'll do something later usually means I won't do it.  I slept in this weekend because I felt like I had earned it and really I was running low on steam (see above about Friday).  Now, in the Amish Challenge's defense... getting up early isn't what is making me tired, it's more the discipline of setting an earlier bedtime that was making me a tad bit cranky and sleepy.  Anyway, so I slept in and said, "I'll work out and have my quiet time later in the day during the girls' naps."  I did neither.  Both days.  I think I had half a quiet time on Sunday... but I can't remember.  The truth is that once my day "starts" I'm busy thinking of my projects and to-do's to sit and read or really enjoy myself. So I think I'll consider the weekends just part of the week. :)

I realized I like rewards.  Gotta find something other than sleep. :)

So what motivates me? What gets me out of bed, cleaning behind the scenes, and doing things now instead of later?

Honestly, my alarm. And then I have accountability.  I'm still looking for others to join me here and I've signed up to be a part of Hello Mornings over there.

Hello Mornings is a place where women are gathering across the globe, committed to rising early (even 5 minutes early) to spend time with Jesus, exercise, and plan their day.  I love this challenge because it's full of grace (this is actually my third time attempting it.... third times the charm, right?), full of ideas for getting up & moving, and it's full of women who struggle & triumph at the same things.

Right now accountability is what is getting me out of bed, but I'm hoping to find some more things that get me going.  What about for you? Do you have an early morning schedule?

Day 01

You may not know this but I have a quiet admiration for our friends, the Amish.  I am quite taken with their way of life.  Or at least what I have observed of it.  The other day I was trying to figure out what is so fascinating about the Amish and I came up with some thoughts.  They are simple people, who work hard and have a disciplined lifestyle.  They're also intentional about passing on to the next generations and within themselves their tools and crafts.  They're pretty intentional within their community.  These thoughts led me to my own epiphany of "I don't have to be Amish to live this way" which is a good thought because although I've asked, Hubs is not interested in trading in his IPhone for a horse and buggy (insert sad face here).

Did I let that stop me though?  Not a chance!  I came up with my own plan of action and decided that August 1st was a great day to start my Amish Challenge. :)  I wanted to name it such but didn't want to happen on the chance that someone would read this out of context and be offended.  So instead I am naming the next 31 days,

*ta da*

The reason I am putting this on my blog is NOT to boast.  No way! I want to put it "out there" so that I can have some accountability (bring it on!) and share some resources of what worked, what didn't, how I triumphed and how I failed. :)  If something I say here can encourage or challenge one more person than that's just a cherry on top of my already delicious sundae.  I'm doing this for me, but if I can get some people to come alongside and join me? Well, the more the merrier!  Let me know if you start your own challenge!

Here's my game plan and resources that I'm starting:
*I'm rising early.  Every day, weekends and week days I'm going to try and rise before my family so that I can get some time in the Word, work-out OR just get organized for the day.  My resource for this is: Inspired to Action: Hello Mornings! Check out this website for the Fall Challenge!

*Staying on budget (do the Amish have credit cards? I don't want to assume they don't, but I kind of doubt it.)  I have trouble with this.  Guess what's the worst spender? Dining Out! Yikes! We use this but as I spend I forget to check the budget.

*Cook more at home... i love to cook but since having babies it's just so much easier to hop in the car and eat out.  No cooking, no dishes, no mess to clean up.  Wow, I'm lazy.  So this month I am severely cutting back on my eating out habits.  Hubs and I have come up with a game plan to limit our budge on this! I've come up with 30 meals that are our "staples" so that way when I am lacking in creativity in the kitchen, I can just go to a familiar face on our dinner table and know that it will be a success!

*Exercise daily in some way; gym, swimming at the pool, or walking with the stroller. Get out and get moving! One resource found here (thanks K).

*Maximize time spent with neighbors and my friends in the community vs. minimizing my time spent on my IPhone and computer.

*Cleaning Schedule (resource found here and gonna give it a whirl)

Okay, so now you're probably thinking... is this really an Amish lifestyle? Running? Using the internet for community and accountability?  So no, it isn't adapting a total Amish lifestyle but I'm trying to use my admiration for them to be a catalyst for change in my life.  The reason I admire them is because they seem to succeed in life where I falter.  So don't judge me if you see me driving, talking on my cell phone, or wearing jeans... I'm just adapting parts of their lifestyle into my life.

And without further ado. Let's begin....

Let me know if you see some flaws in my plan, if you love my plan, or if you just think I'm plain nuts.  I would love to hear from you and know if you have your own plan of action for structure set up!  

babies... er, little girls

It's hard to believe I've been a mother of twinkies for a whole year. The days at times did drag by (what? I'm just being honest) but then in a blink of an eye, they were no longer "newborns" or even babies for that matter.
I read an article that said babies become toddlers either when they start walking OR when they turn one.  The debate is still out on that one.  Either way, there is no use calling them babies anymore.  Especially now as they've started referring to other things as "babies"... and when I say "things" I do sincerely mean things. Just about anything can be a baby these days.
They love saying "mama" "dada" and "baby".  Belle loves making a "mmm" sound when we ask her what a cow says and yes, she still makes the "roaring" of a lion sound when we ask.  Li Li on the other hand loves to "spit" or stick her tongue out whenever we ask her anything.  So we've started asking her what an elephant says and it's just about spot on with how she sounds.
They are HAPPY babies and GOOD babies.  Oops, I mean little girls. They're wonderful and hilarious.  They LOVE playing peek-a-boo, their daddy, being read to and each other more than any other thing in the world.  They love peas, apple juice and chinese food (seriously!).  They're wonderful babies... er, I mean little girls.

We celebrated their birthday by going to the aquarium

and eating apple fritters

opening presents

eating cupcakes,

and of course a party in the park!

Yay for turning one!

an old camp secret

Did you go to summer camp? I did! I loved summer camp. Every year we'd drive and drive and drive until we reached the "Star" which was the sign on the road marking where to turn in to get to camp.  Since I started going to camp before I could read (compliments of begin a pastor's kid... and a camp going pastor no doubt!) I knew that star before I knew how to spell my own name.

Oh beloved camp!

What I took were friendships mostly but some lessons have stuck with me.

For instance, when swimming it's always good to have a "buddy"...

and other lessons and songs. Oh, the songs we used to sing around the campfire. I sang a lot of those songs when I was sleep deprived and trying to find some way to connect with God in the early days of my Love Bugs' lives.  I was clinging to the shred of hope and childlike faith that I remembered having at one point and singing songs from those days helped me.

Among the lessons I learned is a tool on prayer.

I learned this from my counselor and besides the camp songs being a favorite I deeply admired and loved my counselors. Oh, how i loved my counselors. When people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up "counselor" was in the top 3.  I never had any sisters growing up so camp counselors were my week of a glimpse into what having a teenaged sister was like. Man, did I love them! And man did they usually love my older brothers.

Ha! So I was naturally a favorite!

Anyway, I learned this from a camp counselor and have been doing it off and on ever since. Isn't that awesome?! I wish I remembered her name because I would tell her, "Look! You changed my life and helped me! Also, I'm sorry I made you share your bed when it was thundering! I'm sure you didn't get any sleep and were quite cranky that next day!"

First take a blank sheet of paper.  This one is a little smaller than I usually use but it's just to be used as an example anyway!

Then make lines.  I teeter between being a perfectionist and not.  So half my lines are straight and half are squiggly.  You can free hand this. No biggie!

go all the way down your sheet of paper...

then go the other way making a grid.

the top line is for the days of the week and I am terribly sorry for Wednesday because that is not a lot of room. at. all.

I bet you didn't know but the line right below the days of the week is a special line. Oo la la! So highlight it or use a marker or do something fancy to it. 

Then you add in names.

Now the top line of names that is special are the people or things that you want to pray for EVERY week.  Then below it are the people or things you want to pray for once in awhile.  So every Monday I pray for Hubs then I pray for whoever has the first line the first week, second line second week, etc.

Make sense?

I didn't finish filling this out because I already have mine made and while it's not totally private it's also not something I'd share willy nilly on the internet.  So if you want to see what a filled out one looks like, let me know and I'll email you a picture. Seriously, though, it's a bunch of names all the way down.

The thing I like about this is that it helps me stay pretty consistent with prayer.  The thing I don't like about it is I don't always remember to pray for things that come up suddenly. BUT you could have a day of the week where you pray for "current" needs for family, friends and yourself.

I might need to add a "current" square to my prayer sheet.

There you have it.

A lesson learned (among many) from my camp days!

real people live here

All I could think of when I saw this nectarine was, "this is some real fruit".  And I couldn't help but appreciate the fruit from farmers markets.  It's flawed, its dented, it looks kind of gross but it's real. It's not manufactured or grown in a factory field.  It's real.

And that's how I want my home to be. Real.  We're gonna make mistakes, we're gonna let our kids climb trees only to have them fall out and break their arms. I'm gonna say things and forget to hold my tongue.  I'm gonna "dent" Hubs and he's gonna "dent" me.  My kids will fight (darn) and I'm gonna lose my patience.  We're gonna look at each other and realize that we're bruised, dented, gross looking fruit.  I'll probably think Hubs and my Love Bugs are more dented than me... but that's the plank in my eye talking.

I wish I could avoid all of this but we're human and humans make mistakes.

I tend to be one of those humans who makes many mistakes and very blatantly because I'm so "over-the-top" loud and expressive.  I remember in college thinking that it must be so nice to sin "in quiet" instead of how I usually sinned... right out there in front of everyone.  Now I sin "in quiet" and I realize its just as bad if not worse... because there is no accountability should I choose not to ask for it.

So I saw this fruit, realized how perfectly delicious it was despite its appearance and realized that I want my home to be a place where "real people live"... meaning that our home has to be a home to grace and love... we have to know that dents and bruises *will* happen but God still wants to use us and love us despite our nasty appearances.  My home is a home where dents can be forgiven and healed, where bruises are given a rest and long deep breaths are taken.  I don't want some manufactured home with people who seem like they have it all together.  I want a place where we are free to make mistakes and then pick each other back up and keep trekking together.

My home has to be a real place for real people... cause if it's not it ain't gonna work.

real business

"The real business of your life as a saved soul is intercessory prayer.  Wherever God puts you in circumstances, pray immediately, pray that His Atonement may be realized in others lives as it has been in yours.  Pray for your friends now; pray for those with whom you come in contact with now."

Oswald Chambers "My Utmost for His Highest (June 20)"

Too often I get confused by my "real business"... what is my job, my passion, my direction in life?  And too often my business becomes about doing and convincing and pushing.... and not allowing and abiding.  Hardly anyone likes to sit and just let life happen.

We worry that should we sit too long we'll never find the motivation to leave our plush seats.  Soon we'll find that we have taken on the characteristics of the comfy chairs we have sat in. We become plush and comfy and inactive just like our chairs.

So the pendulum swings the other way and we reject the comfy chair and we get busy doing life.  We do life at fast pace.  We "catch" our breath when we sleep and we enjoy each other through social networks.  How often have I "caught up" with a good friend by looking at her pictures on Facebook? "Oh! You went to Europe? Looks like a great trip." I never even communicate to said friend I let my fingertips and eyeballs do the communicating while never actually inconveniencing myself.  Can't look at all the pictures? No problem, I'll just pick and choose what happens to be easiest for me.

So we're in a bind.  Either we become comfy couches snuggled under our blankets of "relaxing" or we become a social piranhas with 700 friends and no one near to talk to.

Don't get me wrong, I like relaxing.  I consider 7:05PM "my time" after the Love Bugs have gone to bed and 99% of the time end up on the couch.  It's wonderful and restful.  Sometimes "my time" ends up connecting with long distance friends through Facebook.  Now that my friends are having babies and working full time hours, I feel guilty calling late at night because of the time differences.  So hear me out, I like relaxing and I like Facebook, Pinterest, etc.

But what I really like were Oswald's thoughts above because it struck me as the perfect chord played in a harmony of connecting & abiding.  When we stop to pray for someone we are connecting with them in a higher sense than we could ever hope to connect via Facebook.  A true test of friendship is whether I am willing to get on my knees and offer up prayer on behalf of that person.

It's also abiding in the Lord because we are talking to Him and hearing from Him. Too often I take to the Lord my issues and then sign off and get on my way.  But I need to learn to hear from God.  I've heard it said that you can hear from God in the midst of chaos.  Which is good because my life can be chaotic.  As I write this I stare at the mess of a lifetime mocking me from behind.  I literally step-slid in avocado chunks to get to the computer to write this. Lord, speak to me in the chaos!

Now, don't take that as your excuse to make your life chaotic but take heart if you can't help but feel like you're treading water in life right now.  When God gives you slow seasons, take them, wallow in them, enjoy them... sit at a coffeeshop and read. read. READ. But then when God gives you busy seasons and messy avocado seasons, enjoy those and as you're tiptoeing around the crazy mess you call life still ABIDE. Pray and give thanks!  The cool thing about praying is that it can be done anywhere at anytime by anyone. Awesome! Changing diapers? Pray! Alone with the Word at a coffeeshop? Pray! Listening to screaming kids? Pray! Lunch with a friend? Pray!

Wherever you are in life, don't underestimate the ability of prayer. 

"do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God" Philippians 4:6

"be constant in prayer" Romans 12:12

"pray without ceasing" 1 Thessalonians 5:17

a tour...

Hello everyone!

I wanted to write and give a little tour of my blog so that if you are here and confused, you won't feel so unsure of navigating the pages, links, etc.

First off, is the "pages area"... If you click on any of the pages you will be redirected to those posts which can tell you a bit more about me and the series of Moms in Ministry.  I wanted to add the M.I.M. links in case someone was trying to find them all in one location. Voila! The pages section!

Next, we have the categories or "tags" from my post.  Hubs has told me in recent feedback that he thinks these are confusing.  For now, I'll just let you know what each tag means and hope that might clear up some confusion.


Inklings
This is where I share my deep thoughts and meanderings through life.  It's lovingly stolen from the literary group with the same name that met in pubs to discuss their own writings.  Members included my hero C.S. Lewis, fictional genius J.R.R. Tolkien and mystery phenomenon Dorothy Sayers.  Click here for more.

Home & Heart
I tag this when I write about things dear to my heart pertaining to the home.


Upward & Onward
Another Lewis reference.  In the book, "The Last Battle" those who have ventured into Aslan's Country to "move higher up and further in" or as I have taken the meaning to be "deeper into Aslan"... it's kind of my "battle cry" for God's spirit working in me and revealing things to me.


My Colorful World
Any post I consider colorful. Mostly pictures!


Over & About
My posts regarding Japan; either while in Japan or upon returning home and reflecting on my time spent there.


Life's Little Moments
Sometimes I write about the littlest things... laundry, baby moments, etc.  The little moments that if I weren't looking out for, might slip by and go unnoticed (and often do).


twenty.eight
When I was 28, I attempted to do 28 things.  And then I got pregnant (which was one of them) and did about 5. ha ha ha!! It's a list of things I gathered from myself, Hubs and family members encouraging me to do more.  I love the things I learned from the stuff I did do and let it serve as a reminder to continue trying new things.

If you look below that you'll find, Looking For Something... perhaps something you read on my blog? Enter a couple keywords here and hit search!

Then there are the blogs I love to read and people I Am Blessed to know.  If you like things you read here on Cultivating, you will love some of these.  They update and change order as the author updates their posts!

Finally, Subscribe so you can get updated when I update the blog. Since I've readily confused to being a sporadic blogger (oops, sorry!) I think this would be the easiest way to stay tuned in to read Cultivating.

Grab My Button! If you have a blog, go ahead and grab my button so you can let others know where to find me.  It's convenient, practical and just so darn cute!


Well, hope that helps you find what you might be looking for here at Cultivating and if not, don't hesitate to leave a comment below and let me know.
With love!

M.I.M: life giving in the kitchen

Sorry it's been a little while.  Hubs and I took the girls to visit family and although I kept reminding myself to finish this series, time escaped me.

Today is a real treat.  I know I say that every time I write but it's because I believe it.  The women I interviewed were not an exhaustive list.  There are so many wives, mothers and single gals that I wanted to bring into this series but alas, I had to go with my gut reaction and asked who God laid on my heart first.  These women are in all stages of learning to make their home work.  Megan is newly incorporating her baby life into her ministry life and finding that they shouldn't be that separated. Beth is a "veteran" mother who can look back on years of learning and share with us things that God has taught her.  I know I say every woman is a "real treat" but I say that only because it's true.

Today I am sharing with you my dear friend Jin who is a real treasure.  I had the pleasure of living in Jin's home for a while when I moved to a new country. You can read about that experience here.  I am super excited to share with you what Jin has been learning and experiencing using her home because I was the recipient often of life giving moments in her home.  In fact, a lot of what I do today is based on either what my mother or Jin do in their own homes.  Jin is a wonderful friend.  She's a phenomenal cook, a mother of 3 and a wife for 13 years!!  I am so thankful I get to share her thoughts with you today to wrap up our Mothers in Ministry series.  I hope you enjoy.

Thanks Jin for answering my questions!

**How long have you been overseas?
10 years!


**What has been a highlight of living overseas with your kids?
I'd have to write a book to tell you all the highlights for us.  Often, Mark and I look at each other and say to ourselves, "Our kids are having such a great childhood".  There's struggles for being a foreigner for our kids but none less than the struggles kids go through in their own country.  Some highlights - our family is tighter as we are each others biggest supporters, our children have such a wider perspective on culture and language and understanding people within this frame, being bilingual, being a third culture kid makes them flexible and love for all cultures.  They've met so many beautiful believers from all over the world who have come as guests in our home.  The list goes on.


**What has been a hardship?
Paperwork!! Sounds small but this is out biggest frustration is when we have to fill out some legal document/city paperwork with the language barrier.  Stress!! Our kids still get the stares (not from their classmates who are used to them) or finger pointing "guyjin (foreigner)" as its the first time for many of the kids to meet a foreigner.


**Do you intertwine ministry and your children's lives? If so, how?
We've taken them along to most of the student's activities and meetings that we have.  Our kids are good friends with our students.  We find that our biggest testimony is our marriage and our relationship with our kids.  They are watching and what they see is powerful for them, even though we're not a perfect family but we make it a goal to keep Christ in the center and to love our kids the way God would want us to.


**Looking back, would you do anything different?
Definitely.  I wouldn't have been so nervous about diving into the culture and the school system initially.  Preschool starts here at 3 years old and I wish I had put our kids in at 3.  We waited a year and thought they are amazing with the language, they would have gotten even more of a head start.  And entering together with all the new moms would be have been more bonding for the friendship with those moms.


**Looking forward, are there things you want to try to teach your children?
I'm at a stage in life with them where I'm needing to let go more and more and God is really speaking to me on this.  I was a good and very thorough caretaker in their young years and I realize they're growing up and needing to grow in independence.  I want to support them from the back and encourage them that they can go through anything in life if they depend on the Lord.  Key verse for them, "I can do all things through Him who gives me strength".


**What's one thing you want to share with college women, single, newly married or women with children who are struggling to do or are new to ministry?
For women with children:  I heard a message from John Piper on missions and he said one thing that has struck with me til now that effects how I view their struggles in a foreign country... "God calls not just you the parents or parents, but God is calling the whole family".  Let the children grow up in ministry knowing that they are so blessed to be, not the "poor you".  Have fun with them doing ministry together as a family.  Few months ago, we as a family went with our students on a work camp trip to Thailand!! It was phenomenal.  Our kids learned with our students the value for other cultures and how God has a heart for them along with fun things like riding elephants and petting tigers. :)


**How can we pray for you?
Pray that the Lord would continue to guard our times in the Word, in our marriage and our children.  For wisdom and steady love as we shepherd our kids into their preteen and teen years.



I hope you've enjoyed this series.  I know I did.  I think I'll reread these questions and answers now and for times to come.  There's so many good thoughts from all sorts of different women in different life circumstances.  I'm especially thankful to the women who took time to answer my questions and share life over emails and my blog.  If you have enjoyed the series be sure to leave a comment and let us know!! I'll be back later to post more Love Bugs pictures.  Can't believe how big they are getting!! Until then...

M.I.M: generations share a table

One of my favorite things about ministry is finding out the lines of people or generations of homes that people have frequented and passed through.  For example, I passed through and spent numerous hours in the home of my excellent friend JK.  I had many good talks around her table.  JK in turn had (I imagine) many good talks and encouraging times around the table of today's MIM lady, Beth.  If Beth hadn't had her door open and her table ready to host & warmly welcome JK, would I have had those talks and warm welcomes myself?  I like to think about the rich heritage we carry around with us in our hearts and display when we invite others in.


Beth is another kind friend and someone who I have learned much from already.  She and I share a bond of "Iowa" and the knowledge of times past.  She has been the giver of warm hugs, encouragement in single days, and exhorting for child raising.  Beth is not just an encouragement to me but someone who loved and cherished the young girl who would later become a woman who loved and cherished me.  Beth is a rare treasure of a woman and a dear friend.  I am so excited to share her thoughts on children & home as she moves into a season of her three sons now grown and adventuring on their own.


Thanks Beth for taking time to answer my questions and for being the blessing you are to me!


**How long have you been married?  
Almost 27 years
**How many kid(s) do you have & ages? 
3 men! Doug, almost 23, Greg, 21, Mark 19
**Were you ministering to women before you had children? 
Yes, a little differently than in College Ministry though as I was training women in training programs
**Were there big changes to what ministry looked like when you started having children? If so, what? 
I stayed home with the boys. Once we were on campus (boys were 1,3,5) Jim and I switched back and forth with the kids so I could go to campus. That didn’t go well. I needed my focus to be on my marriage and children and then do ministry as an overflow. I was also in chronic pain. I pulled out of all campus work for a season (maybe a year or so), prayed and healed. Then I began having women come along with me in life, to soccer games, to make meals, to visit and pray and read the Word along the way. It was precious but difficult.

**Looking back on the "early years" would you change anything? 
Initially on campus I tried to do too much, not setting a good example. Through a car accident and chronic pain the Lord revealed a pride I had in meeting with women. It was hard but good. Thankful for all He taught me then. You never get those years back with your children. Invest well in them faithfully. The women wil come and go but your children will always be your key disciples. As I write, I realize youngest leaves home in one month. The keyboard is getting soggy!

**How did/do you pray for your husband and kids? Any specific verses that you have attached to them? 
I prayed often and earnestly and still do. Often asking the Lord for wisdom and help. Lots of verses used and I memorized scripture to keep my heart and mind in the right place!

**If you met a gal who didn't have any ministry experience or knowledge on "how to" where would be an easy place for her to start?  
Share my testimony with her and have her share. Be open and honest about life. Do Lessons on Assurance to get her started. She can then do that with others. Get her faithfully reading and studying the Word and memorizing when she is ready. Praying through scripture is another key thing I do with her. (Joanna here~ see what Beth is talking about "Lessons of Assurance" by clicking on the title!)

**Is it important for young gals, single, married or with children, to invest in others outside the home? If so, why? 
YES! You are called to do this and it is a good role model for your children to see you invest your life in others. 2 Tim. 2:2

**What do you pray for your future daughter in-laws?
Praying the Lord would protect them and give them a heart fully pleasing to the Lord. That they will be quick repenters and think my son is wonderful. I pray they would not give in to idolatry (putting their husband in the place of God) but that they would know they are really blessed to have my son as their wife. That she would respect and honor him and desire to love him physically well.


Please pray for Beth and her husband Jim as they transition into their third son leaving this fall for college!!