Thursday, December 01, 2011

the heart of it

This picture represents simplicity to me.  The simple life. I long for a simple life but not only that but thankfulness in a simple life.  I wish I was more simplistic in my desires and values.  But I do desire recognition and acclamation.  Lord, help me to desire the things you do.
Do you  know how easy it is for me to complain?
Ugh. Why is it so easy to complain?
Is there anyone here with me?  Sitting like Jonah under a tree that is wilted, pouting?!?
Anyone? Anyone?
I was thinking about my heart and how easy it is to think of all that isn't where I want it to be and mourn the loss of things that I used to count so dear to me.  Like time! And independence! And a waistline.
ha ha
No seriously.
But then I stopped because I am realizing that my girls are starting to watch me.  I mean, really focus in on me and watch me.  Oh, I love how they turn to me after nursing, milk dripping down their chubby little chins, and they smile up at me.  Melts my rotten complainy heart right down to little complainy pieces.
I realized that my attitude and outlook on life will be passed on to my girls.  Either they will "itch" to get out of my presence because complainers are no fun to be around or worse, they'll become complainers themselves.
And can I just tell y'all something?!
Complaining is one of the ugliest things.  Seriously, it can strip a woman of all her beauty. I know this, I warn other women about it and yet, it is one of my faults.
I learned about the three c's in college that plague women:
and I can't help but think of those lessons learned even now.
Sooo... whats a girl to do about her complaining heart?
Well, I decided to continue counting my blessings and putting them on my blog so that I would be somewhat accountable to whoever is reading this.
Along time ago I read a book that challenged me and encouraged me to live fully right where I am in life.  The challenge is to try and find 1000 things you are thankful for in your every day life.  I loved this book and loved the challenge but I will confess I am super bad at this.  Not bad at being thankful in a "I'm-trying-to-be-modest-and-make-you-feel-good" kind of bad.  I am sincerely bad at being thankful.  I have to think and think and think about what I am thankful for in my every day life. It's humbling to say the least because sometimes Hubs will ask me and I will stammer out some sort of response while he is naturally more observant of all that we are blessed with. So I started my adventure down this path but never developed the habit and so I soon forgot to keep up with it.
Well, starting today I am going to continue on with counting my thousand gifts... and don't worry. I'm only on #46, so you didn't miss much.  And while I'm thinking about lessons learned I think I'll finish december off with some of my thoughts about the 3 c's and encourage you ladies to not fall into a rut as I have often done.  We need to proactively fight off the things that diminish our beauty and threaten our joy. 
If you want more info about the book (a definite must-read and a good gift for someone in your life this holiday season) click here.
So without further ado, I give you some of my blessings...
46. the tree trimmers who come and make our apartment complex look beautiful and let more sunlight in onto our patio and into our house to keep it warm.
47. babies who sleep at night, allowing me and hubs some much needed rest
48.  snail mail which warms my heart from friends and family who I am far from
49. the kind lady at the grocery store who helped me juggle a double stroller, two crying babies, half of my grocery list (oh well, i guess i'll have to get the other half later), my credit card and shopping bag.  Super thankful for her kindness and patience with me. (my first time out alone and my excursion lasted about 2 minutes before baby 1 melted down) :P
50. beautiful flowers from a wonderful man I like to call Hubs. *sigh*

1 comment:

Alissa said...

Joanna, I am thankful for you!! I am praying for you in the craziness of life and missing you!