Open Heart Surgery

I am deep in thought tonight... thinking about beauty and how it is defined. I have about a million things I would like to study in the Bible. The Bible guides me and defines my thoughts and outlook on life... for example, I am not through studying about Hell. My father gave me a chapter from C.S.Lewis's "The Problem of Pain" entitled Hell and I read Lewis's thoughts... interesting. My heart was captured by the ending paragraph where Lewis says, "In all discussions of Hell we should keep steadily before our eyes the possible damnation, not of our enemies nor our friends (since both these disturb the reason) but of ourselves. This chapter is not about your wife or son, nor about Nero or Judas Iscariot, it is about you and me."
But it is not Hell that I want to discuss tonight... I am thinking about wanting to "be someone else". I admire a lot of people and often find myself wishing I were more like "her". Mainly it is the spiritual qualities or personality traits that capture my attention rather than physical looks (but I am not above that either). A close and very dear friend of mine (shout-out to Kelli Burrier) said in an observation she once made, "In our culture, especially as women, we compare and contrast every part of our body with that of what we see next to us, on television, or in a magazine. We have come to believe that beauty is in the shape of our thighs, the tanness of our skin, the thinness in our waist... The one thing our culture never teaches us is the beauty of what is inside of us: the heart." How sad, yet, right KB is in saying that. I am bombarded daily in my job with fashion and style. Yet, where can I find the bombarding message that my heart needs help?
Where is the fashion spread in my magazine for hearts like that of Amy Carmichael, Ann Haseltine Judson, Ruth and Esther? Hmm... It is up to us as Christians to encourage one another to not praise "on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal" (2 Corinthians 4:18).
How often have I sized someone up and cried out to the Lord for a heart like this person or faith like another? Wouldn't my time have been better spent in prayer for my heart to continue being completed (Philippians 1:6) as my heart until the day of Christ? It is good to have people as mentors but still, there is an ultimate Mentor. God sent Jesus not only to stand in the gap we created in sin but also to be an example of how our lives should be lived while we are on earth. When was the last time I read about Jesus and thought, "Man, I wish I was more patient like Jesus" and even though that is true... I don't catch myself saying that nearly as often as I think, "I wish I could help people like so-and-so"... BLAH!!
Today I was reading Titus... and I came across Paul's "guidelines" for someone who is to be above reproach. Oh, how that is the cry of my heart. So I journaled the following:
*I want to be above reproach! LORD, I want to be hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined. LORD, I will hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that I may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine... Oh LORD, let us work on making my life more disciplined. LORD, mold me into a Titus woman.*
Won't you join me? Instead of plastic surgery for the thighs, lips, and body that is temporary, let us look into heart surgery... for the heart that looks for something eternal.
Oh, LORD come!