*Test me, O Lord, and try me, examine my heart and my mind*
What does it mean to be tried and tested by the Lord? And can I truly be tested by "fire" and found faithful? I love 1 Peter 1:6-7 which says, *In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.*
This is huge for me, because it not only says that there will be trials but also how we should conduct our behavior as Christians. It's a healthy sort of weight on my heart though because I can not say I have been persecuted and tried as the saints who have come before me have... (not being popular doesn't hold a candle to being eaten by lions)
I went for a prayer walk this morning, just seeking some time to be alone with the Lord... and I realized that I am trying to "bargain" with the Lord. I say, "I will do this, if You do this for me" and that made me really sad. It should be out of a thankful heart that I serve God for He has done so much for me already... ya know? Saving me from hell and eternal condemnation. Yet, here I am wheelin' and dealin'... how sad!!
I am in this "transition" period of my life, where I am no longer a student but have not yet begun my "job". (I am fundraising full-time to go to Tokyo Japan for two-three years as a missionary to college students) So I am kind of in this "pause" place in my life. I don't really like it but instead of resenting it I want to learn from it. I don't want to waste this time and I don't want to miss the opportunity to grow in the Lord. Hence, the name of my blog... Psalm 26:2, *Test me, O LORD, and try me, examine my heart and my mind*
Lord, test my heart and draw me to You that I will love and follow you with an undivided heart. Not my will but Yours done in my life, here on earth as it is in Heaven...(Psalm 86:11 and Matthew 6:9-13)
1 comment:
When you get to the point where you can be confident in asking to be corrected and disciplined, you are very close to the heart of God.
It may not 'feel' any better.
The process will still involve humbling and breaking, and that is painful to the ego, to the self.
But that's the only way to live and discover how genuine you are as a new and spiritually alive creation.
The rest is all theory and speculation.
And that is no way to know yourself.
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