6MA

Six months ago....

I've been thinking of you, looking at your pictures and wandering...
what would you say to all this remembering?
I wander if you would let us remember,
let us cry, let us laugh, let us talk about you...
or would you encourage us to move on and focus on something else?

Well, I can't help it, I'm not that good at goodbyes I guess.
Cause I still visit you in my thoughts, my dreams, my picture folder. Would I want to rid myself of you I could not so easily... but that would be if I want to...

and I don't.

I saw your picture and I started to cry...
warm tears,
cold room,
would I want to rid myself of my feeings and give myself a cold heart, I find that I could not so easily. Sometimes the whisper comes that coldness is better, coldness doesn't cry and coldness doesn't hurt...

would I want to rid myself...

but I don't.

Where does fiction meet non? Where your memory starts to fade and all the stories told start with, "Remember when..."

Where do dreams fade and real life begins? Where your father writes a letter and joy explodes in my heart. Where someone who asks about you after all this time is a cherished friend and even though I don't say much, "It's going okay." it feel good that someone besides me is thinking about you.

I know the other eleven that were there think about you too. And my heart misses them and longs for you.

There was something special about you... and would I ever forget that it would break my heart into a million pieces...

my heart breaks for you, the 11, as I think and pray for you... think and pray for you...

missing you today, 6ML.

Guess Who?

Okay and if you even think about guessing me I'll dock you SOOOOO many friendship points it's not even funny. Not to mention that would be "muy imposible"!!!! (even think it and three older brothers, plus the most fiercesome sister-in-laws you ever beheld would knock down your front door...)

If you know, no fair ruining it... here's your FUN hints!

1. He's the comic relief at most gatherings of related relations

2. She used to sing and play her guitar in coffeeshops

3. He has facial hair

4. She has none

5. It's their first

6. She used to talk with an accent from the south

7. He has the cutest little sister...

Congratulations, you two!

Oh, I wish I could be there to eat popcorn off your belly, Rckt. :)

I love you and miss you and think you both are going to be great parents.

The end of a chapter...

Nachan is leaving... It's sad but true. She'll only be gone one year but factor in that I only have a year and a touch more and that makes me sad. She is going to study in Australia for four months and then hopefully get an internship (using english) for six months. What an opportunity. (here she is cutting her cake at her party)

I feel like I have so much to tell you... but as I sit here now only a couple things come to mind.

1. I finished, liked and understood a book on apologetics and proof of the Gospel called "Love God with All Your Mind" by JP Moreland. I was completely floored to read it and have it stir in my heart a longing to know more about the faith I profess and the God I love with all my heart.

The next one to read is "Mere Christianity" by Lewis.

2. The end of this blog ...at least for a little while.

I am going away to Shizuoka to do some intensive language study... to try and boost my Japanese. It's just not at the level I want it. Although the super thing is that last night while taking the Pitts family to Higashi-Kurume, I totally got lost (not fun) and had a sweet conversation with a random Japanese girl (fun) who I believe speaks the most clear and simple Japanese. She was wonderful and even followed us part way so we could catch our transfer. Who does that? Seriously, she was my little Japanese angel. Sooo sweet.

Back to the "end" of the blog. Well, I have been doing some thinking lately and really this has been on my mind for awhile but I would like to take a break from blogging and just concentrate here some more. So I need to say "so long" to cultivating and to everyone on the other end of this fine blog.

I hope I don't lose many of you fine audience members during these four weeks but if this be a page turning... So long my faithful blog readers.

This is an excellent way to keep up with the family and everyone, so I have a feeling I'll be back mid-February... plus, how can I just let "us" go? We've been through so much.

Until then I hope you will pray for me, my studies in Shizuoka, and for my friends.

Please come back and check out the other blogs I have on the right hand side. I have added a couple lately, "And There They Will Stay... the Shorts that is", "A Plethora of Mutual Friends", "Always Fun with a Complete Stranger", and "We Pinky Swore To Be friends".

I love you and am thankful for this time.

See you in February!

January 3, 2007

Where I'm at:

Lately Keith Green has been heavily influencing my heart with his strong lyrics. Here are a few of my favorite, both silly and serious!

"Well, I pledge my wife to Heaven for the Gospel... as I told her when we wed, I'd surely rather be found dead! Then to love her more than the One who saved my soul." ~Pledge My Head to Heaven

"He is divine and you are de branch" (get it?) ~He'll Take Care of the Rest

"Just think about Moses... He must have been thinking, "Hey what's an old dude like me going to tell 'em all when I go down?" The Lord said, "Hey Mo! Don't you worry about a goin' down south..." ~He'll Take Care of the Rest

"Jesus rose from the grave and YOU, you can't even get out of bed." ~Asleep in the Light

"And you just lay back and keep soaking it in. Ohhh can't you see? It's such a sin. Because He brings people to your door and you turn them away as you smile and say, "God bless you and be at peace." and all Heaven just weeps, cause Jesus came to your door and you left him out on the streets. Open up, open up... and give yourself away."~ Asleep in the Light

"Nature confesses that she has given to the human race the tenderest of hearts, by giving us the power to weep. This is the best part of us." C.S. Lewis quoting a Roman illustration in "The Abolition of Man"

"A man who perseveres in doing just actions gets in the end a certain quality of character. Now it is that quality rather than the particular actions which we mean when we talk of 'virtue'" C.S. Lewis "Mere Christianity"

"Good fortune, witch hunters!" ~Wicked (possibly my favorite line because it's somewhat random. I'd like to incorporate some sort of this into my daily vocabulary. But what could I say, "Good fortune, BEST members"??.... hmmm, must keep thinking about that one?!)

"And God said...'When the bow is in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is on the earth.'" Genesis 9: 12,16

And a funny one from tonight, Mary and I were talking about dinner and eating salmon. Mary inquired about mercury posioning and asked if that came from eating salmon to which a very tired Joanna replied, "I hear you can only get it if you eat too much Albuquerque." (instead of Albacore)

ahhh.... it's been a fun but long day. I'm off to bed.
All my love

P.S. KB, I miss you!

Window Sill

She sits on my window sill,

looking pretty and pristine,

her face is covered by her hair,

and though she sighs, she's still.

A breeze catches her red hair

and she smiles as if it told her truth,

she's taken by the beauty in the moment

though the load she carries is hard to bear.

I'm taken by her silence and wander if she'll speak

it's odd that words she's not found,

and as if my thoughts have penetrated her,

she turns and slowly leaks.

Out come words spinning into gold,

about her years of service for the king

her life she has lived,

and the secrets she has never told.

The battles that have waged,

the people she has met

come alive before my eyes.

With her beauty and her stories, they all become uncaged.

Too long the Warriors and Princesses have sat

in this dingy afterthought,

and as she forgets I'm there I see her reunite,

and her world now is round instead of feeling flat.

She is apart from their world and somehow lost in mine,

she thought she could escape.

One to many lies and settling for this,

reality came and set the hands of time.

Too long she's sat on my window sill,

pretending she is nothing,

but the battle scars and loving eyes,

give her true idenity away until

Her story is never finished but now she at me looks,

aware that i, sitting on the floor, have been

most attentively her ear

and wishing I had written down her stories in the books.

Audience of one, I'm glad to get my fill,

but if you asked, I could not explain.

All I know is that she loves,

to look out from my window sill.

To the girl

To the girl who makes me smile...
who makes me wish upon a star...
who encourages me to expect the best. To the girl who isn't afraid of being silly...
who goes on walks with me and prays for our campus...
who delights in the little things of life...
who cries over the meaningful things.

To the girl who holds my hand when I'm scared...

who holds my hand, just because.

To the girl who loves to laugh and share her laughter...

who isn't worried about being vulnerable

who isn't scared of being honest...

To the girl who I talked to last night....

I love you, Ducky!