6MA

Six months ago....

I've been thinking of you, looking at your pictures and wandering...
what would you say to all this remembering?
I wander if you would let us remember,
let us cry, let us laugh, let us talk about you...
or would you encourage us to move on and focus on something else?

Well, I can't help it, I'm not that good at goodbyes I guess.
Cause I still visit you in my thoughts, my dreams, my picture folder. Would I want to rid myself of you I could not so easily... but that would be if I want to...

and I don't.

I saw your picture and I started to cry...
warm tears,
cold room,
would I want to rid myself of my feeings and give myself a cold heart, I find that I could not so easily. Sometimes the whisper comes that coldness is better, coldness doesn't cry and coldness doesn't hurt...

would I want to rid myself...

but I don't.

Where does fiction meet non? Where your memory starts to fade and all the stories told start with, "Remember when..."

Where do dreams fade and real life begins? Where your father writes a letter and joy explodes in my heart. Where someone who asks about you after all this time is a cherished friend and even though I don't say much, "It's going okay." it feel good that someone besides me is thinking about you.

I know the other eleven that were there think about you too. And my heart misses them and longs for you.

There was something special about you... and would I ever forget that it would break my heart into a million pieces...

my heart breaks for you, the 11, as I think and pray for you... think and pray for you...

missing you today, 6ML.