Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Expectations

I was wondering... how do you get rid of expectations?

I find that my hardest struggles often come from my expectations... I say to myself, well, this is nice and all but it's not how i expected it to happen.

Ugh! Why can't I just be pleased with my situation, my job, my life... and even though things happen differently than I was expecting, why does that matter?

Why are expectations so tricky? I get what I want but it's not what I expected. Blast! I am troublesome, aren't I?

This is coming from my previous realization I just had. I decided to move back to the states and join staff here because I wanted to get a lot of teaching from older staff members. I wanted to soak up their life lessons, meet with older women, hear their stories and struggles so that I could encourage them, my own heart and (Lord willing) future generations of staff after me. I wanted to learn and be surrounded with teachers who I could gleen from (glean? gleen?).

And here I am... but it feels different and looks different... than what? Than my expectations. Argh! This shouldn't even be a big deal... but it is... was. I'm getting over it.

Why do you think this is? Any thoughts?

3 comments:

Leslie said...

Expectations are not a bad thing. They are dreaming and actually taking a risk. That's not a bad thing either. You must just remember that God is the untimate coordinator of our lives. Rejoice when your expectations come true, and move on when they do not ... always knowing Who has you in the palms of His hands! XOXOX

jamie said...

i think we will always have expectations- it's how you deal with them though- i was reading proverbs today- 1 and 2- look at all the things they say about the foolish and the wise. that might give you some good insight!
love you

Krista said...

Oh, Joanna, you have a knack for expressing things that are going on in my heart as well! I think we are due for a nice long chat about life and God and church and movies and...well, let's just chat. :) I can't wait to see you on Saturday!