Saturday, April 26, 2008

new girl in town...

When I was in 4th grade my family moved to a new town...

I really enjoyed being the new girl. I really enjoyed the adventure of meeting new people and having an adventure of my own. There was such a thrill for me in unpacking my boxes and setting up my new rooms, such a fun time to put up my Backstreet Boys posters, make my bed (for probably the first and last time in that room) and begin to explore the surroundings of my new niche.

In that time, I enjoyed our huge backyard, where I laid on the grass and stared at the clouds. I enjoyed the huge parking lot that my brothers and I would tear up in the winter time, them in our truck and me behind being pulled in a sled.
Sure, it was sad to leave my friends and neighborhood... but the opportunities that awaited little me, were endless.

I'm lost in thought tonight as I receive emails from travel agents, future teammates, and people in America...

soon I will be the new girl again. Soon I will be moving away from Japan, moving away from a place where I have found my niche, and having an adventure again.

I am trying to find the courage and the gumption that this little girl posessed but instead I am met with tears. I love adventure and I love all the things that I have been experiencing...

I guess, I am just longing for a home. A place where open arms and my longings cease...

I wonder if this is part of what Jesus meant when He said we should have the faith of little children. If I had the courage of my childhood, I would greet this change with open arms and see the endless opportunities God is giving me.

Be near to me,
Be near to me,
at the quiet streams
and in the green pastures.
Be near to me.

Cover over me,
Cover over me,
at the quiet streams
and in the green pastures.
Cover over me.

But in the dark
and in the cold,
when I don't know which way
to go....
still I'll quiet my heart
and know...

That You are God,
That You are God,
in the dark
and in the cold,
when I don't know
which way to go....
at the quiet streams
and in the green pastures.

I will know that You are God.


Leslie said...

Be brave, princess. You will never walk alone. That "little girl" adventuresome spirit, gumption and trusting heart is still there. Be brave, princess, be brave! You are loved...

Anonymous said...

Oh, Joanna. I remember when you looked like that picture! Who was this tiny spit-fire that was always at my house when I came home from college for the weekend? She sure liked to giggle and she made my little sis very happy! :) I'm sure that wherever God places you, you will be giggling and making someone very happy.

-"Big Sis" Melis

ME said...

The sense of 'homesickness' never leaves, the longer ... and the closer you follow The Lord, it appears to me.

The mistake we all too easily make is in settling for a "sense of home" here.

We like that feeling of familiarity, but it inevitably leads us to a more shallow satisfaction about life and humanity and God's Great creation.

The longing for home is intensified the longer we are "away from our roots" ... but being away, at the very least, unblinds us to the fact that we can never "go back" ... we can only go on.

Those who "stay around home" too long develop a narrow view on life, and a preference for living in a world where nothing ever changes ... all the while the world is spinning on ahead of them, leaving them behind as it makes it's way "...ever turning toward that one, far-off Divine Event" (Tennyson).

That's where we find Home.

If we've really been looking of it.

It's there, because of the One Who left His Home to come get us and take us there.