August 8th

five years ago i started a small blog.

it was called something else at that time... i think it was this little light or something about light and shining... and perhaps that wasn't even it's first name but either way, I didn't settle on "cultivating" as my beautiful title until later in blog life.

five years ago i didn't really think i had anything to say but i wanted to comment on my father's blog which needed a "username" to do so.

so i got an account and then i just signed up for a blog

just because.

five years ago i was fresh out of college and had the world as my oyster before me.

i didn't know anyone, seriously not a single soul from California.

 five years ago i was enchanted with big city living... 

now i can recognize the beauty of my upbringings and the value of home.

five years ago I was working at the gap, 

putting together some change and fundraising full time to get to Japan for a 2 year assignment.

I barely knew Mary.

I barely knew Jennifer.

I barely knew the Roods.

I barely knew myself.

five years ago i thought i was so grown up.

i had experienced college and graduated (thank you Lord) and that, in my mind, qualified me as a certified adult.

five years ago i couldn't separate my life from what Truth told me and what I felt

i knew that there was One person I wanted to live for and He took me as a student and has been teaching me ever since.

five years ago i had never known someone who was vibrantly alive one minute and pronounced dead the next.

i had never known such loneliness and yet the small green bud that grows in the cracked cement sidewalk of my heart.

there was never a moment without hope, although there has been moments of darkness.

five years ago i watched one of my closest friends suffer and knew I had no idea what it felt like to be her but that i wanted so badly to understand.

five years ago my Grandpa was alive and well and I believed whole-heartedly that heaven was going to be the best place and that no one should be sad when your friends or family die.

Now I struggle with the sadness of parting in this life from my loved ones and often go to scripture to remind myself that death is not the end.

I am often scared.

but five years ago the only thing that scared me was never falling in love

five years ago i had no idea how God was going to work in my love life when everyone I knew and was friends with were just that... friends.

five years ago i didn't know that my God thought that was funny and had a story ready to unfold when I was ready for it to be told.

five years ago, i didn't know my husband but i prayed for him and longed for him.

five years ago, i didn't know what i wanted in a man but God did and He totally blew my expectations and "want" list away.

five years ago, I thought I knew what "to be in love" meant

five years ago, I was fearless...

or so I thought.

five years ago, i dove into everything head first.

five years ago, i was "charted" as "dangerously spontaneous"

five years ago i loved sweatpants more than anything. (it's true and gross)

five years ago, a blog was started.  there wasn't much hope in it. just the ramblings of a young girl about to embark on her adventure.

She was about to grow up

and continue to find that instead of getting older,

her heart was getting younger.

And after five years, I know without a doubt that there is so much more to grow in and more beauty to give and more stories to tell.

five years ago I started this blog only to realize now, five years later, that I have only just begun telling the stories of God's love in my life.

How blessed am I to be here today, 5 years and so many adventures later.

Happy Anniversary Blog. 

Thanks for listening to me.