Saturday, August 07, 2010

Undeserved

I have been the object of undeserved love.
Let me explain.
This summer has been hard for me... it's been super amazing and full of new surprises but not at all what I was expecting.  It's always always better for God's best to rule in my life but it always takes me awhile to let go of my idea of "best".
I know I've told you this before and so it seems to be a common thread for at least this season of life. 
Letting go.

Anyway, I let go of this summer and hoped at one point just to survive the tiredness and the swirly-ness that was me this summer.
Swirly like you put me in a salad spinner.
In my tiredness I realized I wasn't very kind or thoughtful.
So although I wanted to love my team and love the students in our club, I wondered if I was able to push through the muck and tiredness to get to the sweetness of Jesus' love.
Was I communicating mercy, love and care or just tiredness and crankiness?
I really struggled with this because when you are tired and you aren't getting long times with Jesus, my flesh becomes strong and I tend to react out of my feelings and emotions instead of out of Love and Truth.

Yet, tonight at our debriefing, I was the object of many compliments and a showering of love as my teammates affirmed me and my summer.
This ministered deeply to my heart and I realized that I do not always believe the best about myself.  I believe only what I can see and that is sin.
But the Truth is that sin has been relinguished and redeemed in my life.  The Truth about me is that there is no more darkness but only Light.
And living in that Light and focusing on that Light helps me to be a Light to others.
My teammates who helped me to remember the Truth.
The Truth is, I am lovely. I am valued. I am a Lover of people.  I am a Lover of the Lord.
And the Truth is that you are too! You are lovely and valued. You are restored and you are given a Light.
Let us all take off the baskets of lies that cover the Truth of our Lights.
Shine! Shine! Shine!

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