Sunday, May 21, 2006


I don't know what it feels like to be a mother. I know, shocker, huh?
No, but seriously! I've never had a child and although I hope to one day I can't say that I have any real reason to have these feelings... but here you go.

When baby birds learn to fly they must leave the nest. No joke. If a bird tried to do all it's flying from the nest, it would not actually learn to fly. It can flap it's iddy biddy wings and picture flying in its brain. It can even buy itself a little flying simulator for birds but it still is not actually flying. It is not flying until the little thing walks to the edge of the nest and says, "I don't know what is going to happen when I leave but I have to try." then steps off the nest and free falls a little, then beats it's little wings and starts to rise. The mommy bird must feel really proud but also sad that her baby is leaving. And the Mommy must feel like her job is done in some ways... but she must also feel proud that her little baby is actually flying and not just lying around watching soaps all day.

Okay, sorry I'm just totally rambling but I have a point. My point is this~ AMY!
AN and AP... These two beautiful girls were in my bible study. Well, actually I met Nox in Feburary when I went to her high school play, "Bye Bye Birdie" (ironic!) with her brother and my good friend. When I first met her I thought, "Man, she's beautiful!" Of course her bro spoke wonders of her as well. Fast forward two years and Amy comes to college... and she is placed in my bible study. I felt so lucky. Amy learned so many lessons that first semester but that is her story to tell you. Let's just say that I got to watch this beautiful girl, "hatch" into her potential and then grow as my little baby bird. Oh, and as beautiful as she is outside, she has a goregous spirit.
When I was making post-college decisions I thought, "Do I stay with Amy and my girls so that I can watch them finish college? Do I stay with them two more years?" But ultimately God said, "No!"
And I'm so glad He did. For AN went to do an internship with a Christian organization~ you should ask her about it~ but to give you a little taste of what she did... she spoke for those who can't speak, she fasted, she prayed, she sang, she delighted herself in the Lord, and she learned what a community of believers should look like.
Now AP came into my group my senior year. At first I didn't know what to do with Pep... our group had a joking manner where during our study we would get the giggles and just explode and sometimes Amy would gently remind us, "Shouldn't we be getting deeper now?" ha ha!! I loved that about Amy. She never wanted to stay at the level she was at. She was constantly desiring to be taught and to learn more about the Lord.
She has such a tender heart and a teachable spirit about her~ I love that she continually wants to know more about God. She is not afraid to step into the depth that He is. Some people live all their lives wading in the kiddy pool but not AP.
She joined a group of mostly non-believers so that she could reach out to them on campus.
The cool thing AP has done has been to pursue me in friendship. She has written me while I've been away and just kept me up-to-date on her life. She writes me what she is learning and what she wants to do. She talks about the hard stuff, the stuff that makes her cry or worry and also the stuff that makes her laugh and gives her joy.
I am not their mother... I am not their teacher... in fact, I believe these two girls have taught me more than I ever taught them. But I have the priviliege of watching them grow, watching them walk to the edge of the nest and say, "I don't know what is going to happen but I have to try."

But ladies, you have both soared. You have encouraged me and prayed for me, you have tenderly reached across the ocean and given me a hug when I needed you most. You may not realize this but it is true.
ALL THE GLORY TO GOD for your life.
You ladies would not be who you are without His amazing grace and love. I know you know that but I just want to give God the glory.
It was not 24/7 or JK or me... it was not Perspectives or IHOP...
God chose you, wooed you, called you, and is using you.
I am honored that I have been able to see the transformation. You ladies are more beautiful than I could have ever dreamed for you. Thank you for sharing this beauty with me.
If ever I am to have daughters I would want them to grow up and leave the nest as you two have done. I love you so much and can't wait for the next time I get to hug you in person.

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:28-31

Enjoy this season of flying!


jamie said...

amen- i'd have to agree 100%- it's sweet seeing these girls freshmen year- everyone wanted to be in one big circle of friends- and you guys seperated yourselves from the easy road-you reached out to those maybe who didn't want to be reached out to- and you are continuing to do that now- it's a great joy to see your lives as well!

mom said...

When I grow tired, Joanna, always remind me of this verse. It is by far my favorite for many reasons. You have experienced a tiny bit of the "mother bird syndrome". It is truly one of mixed emotions. May you keep soaring as well! I am so blessed to be your mother. XOXOXO

Kelli B said...

It's a great thing, to be a mother bird spiritually, to women who walk with us for awhile.

It's been great to HAVE a mother bird, and it's been great to BE a mother bird.

Thanks for the post - i liked it.

Kelli B said...


Can you please tell me the blog address you gave me today? For the Japan Best Club? I closed our convo window before I realized it had the address...

I want to read whatcha wrote. just email me.