Monday, February 22, 2010


Do you ever not feel like yourself?
I'm not feeling like myself at the moment. I'm physically not feeling well because instead of eating fruit like I've been doing the past two or so weeks for dessert, I slipped up one night this weekend and ate about fourteen pounds of candy... ok, it wasn't that much!! But whether it was two ounces or twenty-two pounds, my body was totally mad at me for detoxing it only to intoxicate it with sugar later.
Blech I feel sick!
Buuuut I also mean the emotional/spiritual side where you don't feel quite like yourself.

I don't feel quite like myself in my walk with God and I don't feel like myself with my emotions. I'm kind of tired and I just want to sit in my pajamas and read all evening. Or just hide.

I don't feel like my quiet times are quiet enough. I feel like my walk has been one-sided and I know that God is with me. I just wish I could have that pillar of fire or the cloud by day and night that would signal when it's time to move on or when it's time to stay.

And then I feel sad that I wish I could have faith by sight... I know I'm being too hard on myself but I just have these days.

I hope I don't sound whiny. I'm merely trying to be honest that as cool as I want you all to think I am and how "all together" I want you to think I have it. I guess sooner or later it's bound to come out that I "have these days" and that I am not even close to having it together.

Do you ever have these kind of days?


emily said...

girl. welcome to my life! I have days like this too often than I care to admit. I always have to remind myself that God has not changed. Who He is has not changed. The way He feels about me has not changed...He is faithful and good. No matter how I feel and how often that changes...He stays the same. LOVE you!!

Keith said...

yep right there with you.