Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Okay... so now what?

Okay, so Amy just boarded her bus... we sat there telling each other goodbye for fifteen minutes or so and then as if on a movie, the bus pulls away and a single tear carassed my cheek. Sadness. I turned and the little old lady waiting for her bus gave me a half-smile. That was nice of her.

To make my sadness worse, I watched the birth of Lenora on DVD again last night and it made me bawl my face off. Why I do this to myself, I do not know. But I do. I guess because crying speaks so much into my soul and for my soul that I find it necessary to have a good cry every now and then. I'm still contemplating what to do after Nihon... so many options, so many things I want to do and see... I don't even know where to start or what to do.
I have a lot of dreams... and a lot of hopes and a lot of ideas... so it's hard to say yes to one and know that I have to say no to another... so for now, i'm not saying anything to anyone.
Who on earth knows what I will do or where I will go?
The funny thing is that I have gotten a lot of touching yet, weird remarks from the students. One weird request came last night, the conversation went like this:

When are you going home?

I dunno yet.

You must decide now.

Well, I don't know the answer to that right now.

I know the answer. Stay! You should stay here in Japan. No! Wait! You want to get married. Are you going home to get married? Okay, I can find you someone. What do you want, American or Japanese? I'll find you a husband and you can stay here.

Sooo... although I am homesick for my baby niece and it made me sad to realize I won't get to see my next baby family members for a year after their births... I am thankful for my friends in Japan and for their faithful love for me. Also I am going to be the best darn aunt/sister/daughter/friend long distance that God will allow me to be.

Here are the latest cute pictures of my family. (p.s. i miss you family)
This picture reminds me of a dream I had where my family had a tradition of rapping our family rap at family gatherings... don't ask it was hilarious though.

Easter (Lenora, I can't believe how big you are getting. I watched the birth of your video and I couldn't believe that that was YOU. Watching you enter the world I knew you would take it by storm. You are such a quirky girl. How I long for the days when we can be together again. I love you baby!)
No idea what is up with her hair but I love it!
She takes after her Auntie Joanna by trying on all these glasses.
Thank you Jesus for the blessing of friends and family in my life.
I would be lost without Your love for me displayed through them.
Ames, I miss you already. Enjoy getting back into life and email me when you are settled. I love you friend.


jamie said...

jo- it makes my heart sad to see amy leave- i really don't like that feeling- when you have to say goodbye- it seriously has an aching in your heart- don't you think?
ps- be looking for a surprise in the mail- delivered by the witthofts

Joanna Kay said...

Jame, you want to hear sad and silly? I mailed you a package for your birthday and a week or two later I received a package... wow! What luck but upon opening it I realized I forgot to take off my address when the box had been shipped to me. I was so embarassed to be so incompotent and so incapable of mailing a package that all your goods just sit in my room... did that make sense? Basically I reused a box someone had sent me but sending it to you, I didn't look on the bottom of the box where MY address was. So somewhere between Tokyo and Iowa the box got flipped upside down and mailed back to me. What a horrible day that was for me. I was humbled and embarassed. Good timing on your gift. Jennifer told me tonight I was getting something. I can't wait.
I miss and love you friend.

Jordan said...

Joanna - I'm sorry you were humbled and embarrased by receiving your own box, but I have to tell you...that is freakin' HILARIOUS! Maybe because it's something I would do....

jamie said...

jo don't even worry about it- and i love it how jordan put it "that is freakin HILARIOUS!" it did make me laugh out loud!
love ya girl