Okay... so now what?

Okay, so Amy just boarded her bus... we sat there telling each other goodbye for fifteen minutes or so and then as if on a movie, the bus pulls away and a single tear carassed my cheek. Sadness. I turned and the little old lady waiting for her bus gave me a half-smile. That was nice of her.

To make my sadness worse, I watched the birth of Lenora on DVD again last night and it made me bawl my face off. Why I do this to myself, I do not know. But I do. I guess because crying speaks so much into my soul and for my soul that I find it necessary to have a good cry every now and then. I'm still contemplating what to do after Nihon... so many options, so many things I want to do and see... I don't even know where to start or what to do.

I have a lot of dreams... and a lot of hopes and a lot of ideas... so it's hard to say yes to one and know that I have to say no to another... so for now, i'm not saying anything to anyone.

Who on earth knows what I will do or where I will go?

The funny thing is that I have gotten a lot of touching yet, weird remarks from the students. One weird request came last night, the conversation went like this:

Masashi:
When are you going home?


Me:
I dunno yet.


Masashi:
You must decide now.


Me:
(laughing)
Well, I don't know the answer to that right now.

Masashi:
I know the answer. Stay! You should stay here in Japan. No! Wait! You want to get married. Are you going home to get married? Okay, I can find you someone. What do you want, American or Japanese? I'll find you a husband and you can stay here.

Sooo... although I am homesick for my baby niece and it made me sad to realize I won't get to see my next baby family members for a year after their births... I am thankful for my friends in Japan and for their faithful love for me. Also I am going to be the best darn aunt/sister/daughter/friend long distance that God will allow me to be.

Here are the latest cute pictures of my family. (p.s. i miss you family)

This picture reminds me of a dream I had where my family had a tradition of rapping our family rap at family gatherings... don't ask it was hilarious though.

Easter (Lenora, I can't believe how big you are getting. I watched the birth of your video and I couldn't believe that that was YOU. Watching you enter the world I knew you would take it by storm. You are such a quirky girl. How I long for the days when we can be together again. I love you baby!)
No idea what is up with her hair but I love it!
She takes after her Auntie Joanna by trying on all these glasses.
Thank you Jesus for the blessing of friends and family in my life.
I would be lost without Your love for me displayed through them.
Ames, I miss you already. Enjoy getting back into life and email me when you are settled. I love you friend.