Tuesday, July 14, 2009

a question

While cleaning my room I came across letters. Probably hundreds but I paused at only a few... and now here I sit. Convicted and crying.

Somewhere along the way, I wonder if I have lost a little sense of my gumption. I don't know why my heart has become more timid but reading these letters I was reminded of a girl with guts and passion.

It was like reading of an old friend who I hadn't talked to in awhile and it made me wander, Why haven't I?

What has changed me? Is this a good change or a bad change?

Besides being reminded of my gumption and passion I was reminded once again of friends who loved me unconditionally and also with their own passion....

my bible study girls; Laura, Christina, Shannon, Nox, Katie, and Amy
Mayflower RAs
Emily Reddy

and my own family members.

Letters are probably the best part of life. I love handwritten letters... but sheesh, if I read every one of these and cry my eyes out. I'll never get my things cleaned.


Kelli B said...

This is me. To a T. I will sit and read old letters, journals, and just bawl. But I think it's good therapy for me!
a) I get to remember and enjoy those times, go back to how it actually felt in that moment.
b) I realize that things have changed a LOT since then. it's life - things will never stay the same, and neither will we.
c) I always, always try to think how can i reinstate this in my life? How can I find that same sense of assurance, of conviction, why has it been lost? Always leads to an intrinsic look and examination. I often find that I've fallen into complacency or that I have just transformed into a different person. Some things need to stay in our lives/character - other things need to go.

Hoping you receive good "therapy" through your exploring in your room! So much is attached to old stuff.....

ST said...

Awwww. That seems like SO long ago! I'm glad those notes have come back.