What a trooper!

This entry is not for the squeamish. So if halfway through this you are wishing you weren't reading this... don't blame me for not warning you.

The past two weeks I have had a total of three nosebleeds. Since January I have had five.

Nosebleeds are not a new thing for me... bleeding in the middle of the post office, a dinner party and a birthday party on the other hand are.

I didn't think anything about the one two weeks ago... but when I got the 2nd and 3rd within 24 hours and then the third one lasted about fifteen minutes I was a little concerned. I am used to nosebleeds (hello, three older brothers!) But these were different.

The weather isn't dry or anything so I was a little concerned.

After #3 I was more than concerned. I was a little scared. #3 graced me with her presence at Mark Rood's birthday party. I felt it start and rushed to the bathroom, assuming that a couple minutes of good pressure would put a stop to the pesty thing.

Nope!

I sat there... and sat there. The bleeding did not slow nor stop. At one time I had blood coming from both nostrils and couldn't quite get this stinkin' thing to stop. So after that (it finally slowed and stopped after an ice pack was administered (thank you Jin) and I put hard pressure on the top) I decided to go ahead and get it checked by the doctor, at the request of my brother and father (both who have worked in the medical field to some degree).

Anywho! It was quite an adventure and below is my journey. Enjoy! (Special thanks to Jin Rood for bringing me, translating for me, and taking a peek inside my left nostril so that you could accuratly describe what my condition was.)

Jin and Abbie took me to the ears, nose, and throat doctor where we waited to be seen. The first thing that surprised me upon entering my room, was that there are no doors on the rooms. Actually there are no walls or anything. There are three chairs set up like dentist type chairs and everyone just sits there and watches the doctor probe you with things. PLUS, his huge case of instruments, tools, and torture devices are just lying there. The girl next to me had an earache.

Ohhh and then it was my turn.

Oh glorious day. I couldn't understand A THING. Not a thing. Which was fine, Jin was with me and we had our electronic dictionary handy. He took a peak up my little nose and then he asked Jin to come look.

I am not sure what it is called but it is a deviated or curved shaped septum inside my nose. The septum is the middle part that separates the two nostrils. (correct me, if I'm wrong, this is just my understanding of what I could understand) Apparently it's fairly normal, in humans and horses... don't know why he threw that one in there, but that's what the doctor said. So he's peeking around and talking to Jin and draws a picture of my curved septum and think he sprays some stuff up my nose. At this point I'm thinking, "Uh, is he numbing my nose? Is he going to poke around?" And then before I know it he shoves (very doctorly kind of shove) this long pokey thing through my nose and down my throat. I almost threw up. And then he does the other side. And the whole time I am thinking, "Good thing Abbie is here or I'd cry like a baby." And then my doctor leaves.

He goes to the chair next to me to check out the ear infection girl. And I don't want to move or breathe or swallow because everytime I swallow I can feel the pokey things move in my nose. How unnatural and freaky is that?

If you can blow up the below picture. He went in around #39. I felt the pokey thing around #23.

Needless to say, he said there was nothing to worry about unless I had complications. That's when Jin brought up my nosebleeds and then he looked concerned. To make a long story short I have a curved septum with a bunch of scratches on it. I was a little nervous about this because I'm not sure how comfortable I am with a curved septum, I don't care how "normal" it is. It's kind of weird-oh. I basically have to take this Qtip with my medicine on it, shove it up my nose, and rub it around. It's an antibiotic.

Here's my medical form. I tried to make it look more fun than it really looks.

So I am tired, a little freaked out by having long poles shoved up my nose with no "understood" warning. crying because I just put in the medicine to stop me from having bloody noses but it made me have a bloody nose. So I am going to take a break from my life and find something that will make me laugh. Oh, my cute little medicine container
I am trying to make the most of this situation because I realize it is not really a big deal. I think I am mostly crying because I am just tired. No, I know I am tired.

But my beloved webMd.com was horrible to me. It started linking my "septum" search to sleep apnea, lose of sense of smell and surgery and all these more scary things so I had to close it down. I love WebMD but perhaps it's time to say goodbye for a little while.
I wish I had the strength and courage of so many women who have gone overseas years and years before me. I need to research Amy Carmicheal, Ann Judson and other women like them to see what they did and how they responded in their lonely and scary moments. It's funny that I compare my scary nose probing to yellow fever and everything else these pioneer women battled. Oh, God give me your strength when I wish I could just return to a place where everything seems "easier". Oh, Lord I know that is a lie. Give me the eyes to see that.

(making the most of the situation)
Administering the meds...

Hmmm... this goes where?
So for now, I will stay in bed, read my Bible, read some books, and get rest. Kelli, thanks for the international cafe mix. It was such a treat and comfort to know I could drink it and "be connected" to you somehow.

*But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, "It is a ghost!" And they cried out in fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, "Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid."* Matthew 14:26-27

The Last Two Weeks

These are some photos from the last two weeks or so...

Mary and I had lunch with a freshman gal, Sae. Lunch turned into dinner, turned into a few games of SEQUENCE. It was a lot of fun.

Then Kyle had his birthday... and we had a little... too much fun with a blond wig that Mark wore to surprise Kyle.
Looks natural, doesn't it?
Looks... natural? Happy Birthday Kyle.

Even Yaya got in on the wig action.
Ty can be cool... even in a blond wig.
If you look long enough, you'll convince yourself that Mark looks EXACLTY like Ryan Mullarky in this picture.
Ryan, Mark, Ryan, Mark... I really can't tell the difference. Must be the blond curls they both have.
Blowing out the candles.

Speaking of Birthday Boys... Mark had his birthday yesterday the 22nd of April. We celebrated by going hiking in Tokyo (yes, Tokyo).

Mikkun, Masashi, and Ty came along.
Yes, this is Tokyo. It's hard to believe but since Tokyo spreads out over a lot of area. It's possible for some of the area to look like this. :)

Hiking was so much fun. It was not too hot with a slight cool breeze so it was great conditions.
The hike also had my personal favorite... lots of BRIDGES!!!

Wow!

The three ladies on the hike. Don't ask but I'm pretty sure I was flashing my gang signs... oh I am hilarious when I am in these moods. :)

When we got back, Jin had decorated the house and the kids in honor of VIRGINIA TECH (Mark and Jin's alma mater). It was a great way to honor the people who had died. I knew it really meant a lot to Mark and it was cool to see Jin honor her husband with such a fun surprise. To top it off, the cute Rood family even did a Virginia Tech pyramid.

Awwwwwwww......... cuuuute!

Jonathon

I've been thinking about Jonathon over and over again. (think Bible character, think 1Samuel)

I'm so in awe of the way God released his heart to love David.

Think about it... Jonathon was supposed to be the king. But then this little shepherd boy comes and steals the show. We all know how Jonathon's father reacted; spears thrown, a life of pursuing David to kill him, anger, God's spirit leaving him...

But Jonathon loved David like a brother, like his own soul. It says in 1 Samuel that Jonathon knit David's heart to his own.

I'm just wondering what kind of peace it would take for the Prince to not only "give his throne" but then LOVE the person who was going to take his throne.

I think I am like Saul, in so many situations, I think, "Hey, this is rightfully mine! Give it to me." But after studying Jonathon I decided that I want to grow into a heart that is content with where God has me and with what God is giving me.

And on top of that, I want to love and have my heart knit to others.

I'm not really sure what that looks like, you know like what "throne" am I holding on to? What do I need to let go.... but it's fun to think about and fun to pray about and fun to believe that one day I can (by God's strength and grace) let go of the things on earth.

Thoughts? Insights? I welcome anything you can offer on this subject.
Servanthood, Brother(sister)hood, Love, Humility.....

I told myself last night.

I wanted
to
write to
you
but instead
i found
that you had
written.

I wanted
to
express to
you
my heart's
content
to fullest
measure.
But instead,
I found your
expression.

I wanted
to
say to
you
all the words
that i have
but instead
i find
a conversation
in my heart.

I wanted
to
condemn
myself
but instead
i found
your
forgiveness.

Awaiting me,
offered to me,
shared with me,
given to me,
poured on me...

Already.

Instead of
writing
what I wanted
to say,
I found
you
had given
new words.

Instead of
falling into the
same old line,
I was
relieved
when
You
gave me a new part
to play,

no, to be.

My heart's prayer

*Jonathon said to the young man who carried his armor, "Come, let us go over to the garrison of the uncircumcised. It may be that the LORD will work for us, for nothing can hinder the LORD from saving by many or by few." And his armor-bearer said to him, "Do all that is in your heart. Do as you wish. Behold, I am with you heart and soul."* 1 Samuel 14:6-7

Do all that is in your heart... I am with you heart and soul.

Lord, if I loved you like this. If I were your armor-bearer. I would want to follow you into the unknown. I would want to fight courageously.

I want to see your kingdom reign. I want to see Your banner waved. I want to see Your courage light up the hearts of the men and women around me.

Give me the courage to say to you, "I am with you heart and soul." and help me get to the place where I can become more like Jonathon, who when the time came was able to give the throne to the anointed King.

I would not choose to be in another place.

I would not choose to live another life.

I choose God and this life and where I am today.

Even if I think and wish and pray that tomorrow I can be closer to Him.

Psalm 67 says “God blesses us, God cause His face to shine upon us.”
I love thinking that the blessing we receive is MORE OF HIM.
And that is exactly what I have received here in Japan… more of Him.

Tanjoubi Omeretou Ottosan!

Tanjoubi Omeretou Ottosan!

Happy Birthday Daddy! *There fore be imitator of God, as beloved children, and walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.* Ephesians 5:1-2

There are many reasons why I love my Ottosan, my Dad. But I will give you TEN for today, his birthday.

10. My Dad is muy intelligent. He not only teaches his classes and shares information with them but he invests in their lives, learns from each student, and shares his own life learnings with them.

9. He loves my mother and continues to pursue her even after years of marriage. My favorite memory of my father loving my mother was when he celebrated a random anniversary (maybe first date or something?) I was ten or so and I remembered how my Dad wrote out the lyrics to "The Way You Look Tonight" and gave those to her with some flowers.

8. My Dad loves each season God gives him. He has been teaching me so much without even knowing it... but he has learned and lived through so much that with each season my Dad embraces it from God. His newest season is as Gampaw and buh-lieve me! He is loving it.

7. One time we spent ten minutes just making "scary faces" at each other over SKYPE video. I know that might sound ridiculous to you but silliness is a value of mine. I need to laugh often at myself and at life. My Dad and I were so thrilled to be able to see each other (via skype) that we just sat there and made faces with each other. It meant a lot to me to have "normal" weird time with my Pops. I miss our little silly interactions and usually SKYPE time is all business and catching up... so it was fun to have silly face making time with my Dad.

6. My Dad and I share the same odd toes. I love how weird and interesting our toes are. We have these baby toes that we can wiggle and we have the ability to freak people out with our toes. I love that we have that in common.

5. He lives off a diet of popcorn, cereal (shredded wheat is his fave), pretzels, and a bag of skittles now and then... oh yeah and licorice. He looooves nibs candy.

4. He is the perfect combination of what I love most in my Grandpa and Grandma Schupbach. He is fiesty, loyal, loving, kind, clean, thorough, giving, gracious, helper, and many more of the qualities i appreciate in my Grandparents.

3. He loves the Lord with all his heart, soul, and mind. He cultivates his body and mind to be the fullest it can be for God's glory.

2. He opened my eyes to reading. I have many fond memories of him reading C.S. Lewis to me as a child. He did all the voices appropriatly and never went too far ahead after I had fallen asleep.

2a. He is my earthly guide and advisor.

2b. He is my earthly protector.

1. He continues to be the physical example from my Heavenly Father of God's love for me.

Through the way my father loves me and loves my family I can see God's love for me and for this family.

The last email I received from my Dad expresses God's love so well, I thought... so I wanted to share it with you.

I see you.
In my mind and in my thoughts...

In my heart and in my affections...

In my secret thoughts and in my unguarded, crazy unprotected outbursts...

In my deepest vision and highest dreams...

In my sweetest memories and in the very best hopes I can imagine...

In my fun and in my laughter ---

which must be impoverished in your absence ---

In my every days, in my 'nowIlaymedowntosleeps'...

In all these "places of me" I see you;

I keep 'running into you' in my life... I pray for you;

I miss you...

I am for you.

I am behind you.

I am with you...

I love you.

Dad

I feel the same way about you, Dad. I love you and keep "running" into you...

Enjoy your birthday... until our next skype silly face date...

Your daughter.

IT CAME!! IT CAME!!

The doorbell rang as if a choir of angels... and I knew.

Kelli's package had arrived. However, it was GINORMOUS! I was not expecting this....

ohhhh what can it be? My first peek inside
Kel, you SPOIL me! The Holiday... what a great movie.
Ohhhh Special K from my Special K
hooray! Something I haven't seen since the 7th grade. Yummy surprise!
This is my "you-gotta-be-kidding-me-you-crocheted-me-an-entire-blanket" face. Wow! I am trying not to burst into tears. Kelli Burrier!! You are a spectacular friend. Ahhh, really!
To top off all the fun surprises... the journal is in my posession again.

Fun thoughts and pictures from Kelli with questions, prayers, dreams, and encouragement from my long distance friend... oh, Kel! Thank you so much. I am super excited to start reading it. It's almost as good as having you here. :) I can't wait for our phone date in May.

Okay... so now what?

Okay, so Amy just boarded her bus... we sat there telling each other goodbye for fifteen minutes or so and then as if on a movie, the bus pulls away and a single tear carassed my cheek. Sadness. I turned and the little old lady waiting for her bus gave me a half-smile. That was nice of her.

To make my sadness worse, I watched the birth of Lenora on DVD again last night and it made me bawl my face off. Why I do this to myself, I do not know. But I do. I guess because crying speaks so much into my soul and for my soul that I find it necessary to have a good cry every now and then. I'm still contemplating what to do after Nihon... so many options, so many things I want to do and see... I don't even know where to start or what to do.

I have a lot of dreams... and a lot of hopes and a lot of ideas... so it's hard to say yes to one and know that I have to say no to another... so for now, i'm not saying anything to anyone.

Who on earth knows what I will do or where I will go?

The funny thing is that I have gotten a lot of touching yet, weird remarks from the students. One weird request came last night, the conversation went like this:

Masashi:
When are you going home?


Me:
I dunno yet.


Masashi:
You must decide now.


Me:
(laughing)
Well, I don't know the answer to that right now.

Masashi:
I know the answer. Stay! You should stay here in Japan. No! Wait! You want to get married. Are you going home to get married? Okay, I can find you someone. What do you want, American or Japanese? I'll find you a husband and you can stay here.

Sooo... although I am homesick for my baby niece and it made me sad to realize I won't get to see my next baby family members for a year after their births... I am thankful for my friends in Japan and for their faithful love for me. Also I am going to be the best darn aunt/sister/daughter/friend long distance that God will allow me to be.

Here are the latest cute pictures of my family. (p.s. i miss you family)

This picture reminds me of a dream I had where my family had a tradition of rapping our family rap at family gatherings... don't ask it was hilarious though.

Easter (Lenora, I can't believe how big you are getting. I watched the birth of your video and I couldn't believe that that was YOU. Watching you enter the world I knew you would take it by storm. You are such a quirky girl. How I long for the days when we can be together again. I love you baby!)
No idea what is up with her hair but I love it!
She takes after her Auntie Joanna by trying on all these glasses.
Thank you Jesus for the blessing of friends and family in my life.
I would be lost without Your love for me displayed through them.
Ames, I miss you already. Enjoy getting back into life and email me when you are settled. I love you friend.

BEST BBQ

This year's BEST club BBQ was so much fun. We had a blast.

This is Madoka, Yumi, and Megumi with me on the train. These three girls are freshman at Shuto Daigaku. They are SO much fun. BEST club boys take care of the cookin'!! Ty, Kyle, Mikkun and Masashi!
The group rounding up for introductions.
We had yummy American style hamburgers.
The BEST club ladies gather on the riverside for lunch.

After lunch we played skits. We had to act out different household applicances; here is Team #1 with their act of the television.

Here is the team that acted out a fan. It was really cute. I only got a video of the actual fan so I will try and get it up later.
Here is the team that acted out the escalator.
Our BEST BBQ has a great location. Here Jennifer, Abbie and I check out the water... to swim or not to swim? That was the question.

Taka and Kyle
Jin showing us her killer skateboarding moves. She is one kewl chica!
Takayasu is a kewl dude too!! Here he is pulling off a stunt.

Oh, Mary. How I love thee. A cool picture of her and Abbie.
Amy took this, me... just a driving through Tokyo.