Friday, April 20, 2007

I told myself last night.

I wanted
to
write to
you
but instead
i found
that you had
written.

I wanted
to
express to
you
my heart's
content
to fullest
measure.
But instead,
I found your
expression.

I wanted
to
say to
you
all the words
that i have
but instead
i find
a conversation
in my heart.

I wanted
to
condemn
myself
but instead
i found
your
forgiveness.

Awaiting me,
offered to me,
shared with me,
given to me,
poured on me...

Already.

Instead of
writing
what I wanted
to say,
I found
you
had given
new words.

Instead of
falling into the
same old line,
I was
relieved
when
You
gave me a new part
to play,

no, to be.

1 comment:

Ed said...

This is very beautiful, Jo ... I would even say 'inspired'.

It reminded me right off of one of my very favorite Lewis poems - and he wrote some doozies... Here it is:

'Master, they say that when I seem
To be in speech with you,
Since you make no replies, it's all a dream
- One talker aping two.

They are half right, but not as they
Imagine; rather, I
Seek in myself the things I meant to say,
And lo! the wells are dry.

Then, seeing me empty, you forsake
The Listener's role, and through
My dead lips breathe and into utterance wake
the thoughts I never knew.

And thus you neither need reply
Nor can; thus, while we seem
Two talking, thou art One forever, and I
No dreamer, but thy dream.'

It is so wonderful to watch you grow.

I love you.

Dad