love bugs

Happy Valentine's Day from the Love Bugs!

seven months

I know I always say this but can't believe it's been seven months.
It's been hard work but it's also had its joyous triumphs and wonderful moments.
We are moving quickly into the crawling stage. Belle moves around pretty easily while Li Li just doesn't seem interested at this point. They both love squash, chewing on books, talking and being outdoors!
I love my little Love Bugs!!

practices: kissing, reminders and pet names

Through J's post (again, inspiring me!!) about her parenting practices I found out that Sarah over at Emerging Mother is hosting a carnival.  Her carnival is a unique celebration of the "practices" that we parents have to love and instruct our children.  Practices that we think are important for our children as we nurture and love their little souls.  I have loved reading some of these practices and have come to be encouraged, inspired, or even challenged by some of the practices.  Click to find out more about what each Mama said about their own practices.

And like usual, I am not one to want to miss out on carnivals or gatherings of people of any sort. Lets be honest... we extroverts need our people time even though we have Love Bugs and they demand a lot of our attention.  And I lovingly demand that I give it.  I love loving them. But I still need adult human time (does that sound weird~ ha ha)

Anyway, I began to think of my own parenting practices, what I've learned from my own parents and what is already important to me at this point of mothering.... here goes... some things I want to put into practice...


the practice of not believing there is such thing as too many  kisses.  I am constantly kissing my Love Bugs and I don't think I can ever kiss them too much.  They need to be held, kissed and squeezed constantly.  I believe this.

the practice of telling them how blessed they are daily.  While we sit together, the three of us (two Love Bugs and one mommy) for breakfast or lunch I remind them that they are blessed to have each other.  I was inspired to do this by my good friend JK who has twinkies of her own.  She told me she reminds her twinkies how blessed they are and often says, "Other kids aren't so lucky to have a brother or sister in the same class as you..." or other words of encouragement.  So I make it a point to remind them daily how blessed they are to have each other.  And how awesome it is to have a sister.  I never had a sister till my brothers got married.

the practice of pet names.  I rarely call my children by their real names.  They are Li Li, Belle, Bellsey Belle, Belly B, Chi Chi, Monkey, Love Bugs, Lovies, and so on.  I want them to know one thing as they grow up.  that they are most ardently and unconditionally loved.  By me, by their father and most importantly by God. I can't tell them enough how much I adore them and think they are so special and so by practicing the art of nicknames or pet names I hope I am instilling in them how much I love them and how much fun we can have together.

Knowing how loved I am was something my parents gave and continue to give to my brothers and I. I grew up surrounded by love and security at all times and knew that I could never lose that with my own parents.  Oh, sure! I disappointed my parents and they disciplined me when the times called for it but I never worried I would lose their love.  Never.  I knew 100% I was loved by them.

I'm curious what your practices of parenting are or even as an Auntie or an Uncle... do you have practices you pass on to your nieces or nephews  .... take a peek over at Emerging Mother's carnival and J's blog and see what practices they are instilling in their children.  And then let me know what practices you have of your own.  I'd love to hear what you all are doing.

here's to

Awhile back my dear friend J wrote a post about "these are the days" and "these are the days take two". You can find them on her blog here.

I was inspired to do my own "these are the days" and walked around for several days making the list up in my mind.  But instead of starting my list with "these are the days" I inevitably started off with a toast.  I would raise an imaginary glass of something smooth and delicious.  Whatever it was at the time didn't matter and in my imaginary world, my daughters raise their bottles and we all, "toast" to the season we are enjoying now.

Here's to...
*not having a kleenex handy while wiping my daughters' noses, so just wiping it on my jeans.
*having two cups of coffee in the morning followed by a cup of decaf. 
*being exhausted.
*having my heart melt when I get my girls up from napping and they have the HUGEST grins on their face.
*walking out of the house and knowing that I probably have dried boogers, spit up or poop somewhere on me.  And still walking out.
*an abundance of flowers that Hubs keeps bringing home to me.  As soon as one bouquet gets withered and tossed out, he comes home with a new one.  He has never bought me so many flowers even while we were dating.  It's really sweet.
*not having a clue what I will make for dinner, even though I try to plan ahead. I still stare at my fridge and wish I had a dinner fairy.
*crock pots.
*take out.
*the rejuvenating powers of sitting out on the patio and enjoying natures with my girls.
*long naps (may they last and endure till college... or at least kindergarten.  Long naps are God's gift to mothers! Can I get an amen?).
*loving motherhood and God pulling me through a rough time.
*dirty diapers, loads and loads of laundry, and piles of dishes.
*still having fall decorations up mixed with spring decorations mixed with just my own cluttered mess of life.
*stubbing my toes on the exersaucer, the toys, the multiple cribs, boppys, bumbos, rattles, etc. that lay around my house.
*showering before noon.
*getting dressed before noon. (is it sad that I get excited if I'm out of my pjs before noon?)
*pj days.  Still.  I gotta have them.

and finally, for today....
Here's to the house smelling slightly like dirty diapers, food going bad in the fridge cause I can't remember what I've bought, my pajamas not wearing holes in them, my plants ridden with bugs on them (grrr you stinkin' aphids) and joy! In the midst of all my craziness, joy!

Clink!

the nursery

I've finally decided to post pictures of the nursery.  The nursery may never look like what I want to look like but i kind of feel like it's "now or never" as far as posting pictures goes.

So here it is! The nursery! Where two little darlings sleep and take their naps.

Recently the girls had to be separated (sad) in their beds because one would inevitably crowd out or corner the other one in their sleep.  We'd wake up to pitiful little cries of one of our girls calling out to us to rescue her.  After so many of those naps/nights we decided to take the plunge.  I was hoping they'd just learn to sleep together forever but alas, it was not meant to be.

And we haven't found a crib that is similar to the one we got earlier so we're putting to good use the pack n play!

Narnia inspired wardrobe

So the room is almost always a bit messy and definitely crowded now with the second crib up.

One of my favorite things about the nursery is the "art wall" where art from the girls' older cousins is on display! Thanks L, W, E, & A for your art.

notice the lamp post, another narnia themed piece

a love

I have tried to instill in my sweet babes a love for books! Coating 'em in sugar probably doesn't hurt!!

Hubs for hubs

Hubs got these yummy chocolate covered peanuts....

6 months!

 Finally!! A legitmate birthday! ha ha

Six months and going strong!

The doctor was so pleased with them at our last check-up.  Apparently they are in the 3-5 percentile for kiddos their age in height and weight but the doctor said they might always be petite since I'm petite. I didn't mention to my doctor that I come from a looong line of petite (and beautiful) women. :)

She said developmentally, though, they are right on target for their age.

Hooray!

 We celebrated the big 6 with solid foods.  We introduced bananas into their diet and the girls really loved it.  They are definitely loving solid foods and eat everything we've given them so far. 

 To celebrate her half birthday MB decided to "creep" or what is the beginning of crawling.  I thought it was pretty funny that I texted my parents and said, "Ooooo we've got a creeper"... then I felt the need to explain to them (and apparently you) that creeping is the wiggling or "army crawl" that happens before crawling.

See the picture above?  She's going for the yellow rattle at the top of the picture.

Closer....

Excuse me, sister!

 closer....

Got it!!!!

Seriously, I did not help her move. She wiggled her way up the blanket.

Happy Birthday bebes! 

I love you both!!

guess who?

 Guess who started sitting up better?

Guess who got brand new booster seats?

Guess who sits up like big girls in their booster seats?

 Guess who started solids?

Guess who loves their solids and can't get enough of them?

Looks like we got a couple of bowl lickers in the family! :) I started them this week on chocolate and chicken wings... 

just kidding.

i *gulp* took a step

 When I did the girls' nursery Hubs took one look and said, "How come their room is cooler than ours?"  And I had to agree.  I had barely touched our room while decorating the house but had spent time, effort, energy and money in all the other rooms. Seriously! I think it's because no one goes up there and we rarely spend time in our bedroom unless we're sleeping.  So it has become a hodge podge of furniture and items that have no other home except to be stacked, stored, and put in our room.

That is... until this year. I nominate 2012 to be the year of the master bedroom. And I second that motion.  All in favor, say "aye".

"Aye!"

Glad we could agree and come to that decision quickly!

(And yes, I did just do that all by myself. And no, I'm not crazy....)

;)

So here, is said room.  A blank canvas waiting to be splashed upon!

 See? Hodge podge... even the dreaded blue bookshelf is in my bedroom.  

(good memories of it being made? yes! does it work with anything else in my house? no!)

Random piles of rubbish and random pictures.  I have no room for all these treasured belongings but can't bear to see them on my dresser any longer.  

I. Need. Change.

Okay, so by now you might be wondering if I am already failing at my "word" for 2012, contentment.  But I say, no! Actually, changing my bedroom a bit and adding some homey touches here and there enables me to be more content because it is helping me make my home, a home. Instead of nagging Hubs for a new home to grow in, I am content with the one I have but am excited to spruce it up a bit.

So where am I at in the sprucing process?

Well, yesterday I did something for the very first time.  I bought paint.

And as soon as I did. I hated it.

Commitment-phobe? Yes! I've always struggled with commitment, except where it really, truly matters~ Hubs~ and then I have absolutely 100% no question about my love for him, but when it comes to things like colors and painting and decorating I can't help but question my sanity.

Especially when I had the paint chosen, mixed up, purchased and Hubs took one look and said, "Oh? Beige?!"

Beige? Seriously.  Of course Hubs would question beige because I have never ever in my whole life chosen beige.  And just saying that word sends shivers down my spine.  It's like eating plain toast for the rest of my life or living in a world of sepia tone forever. Beige?!? 

"I've changed my mind," said I to Hubs and he just laughed.

And I just paid for my beige paint.

Cue crying now.

I've never bought paint. I've never chosen my own paint. Except once when my parents let me at 711 Par Drive and I chose turqoise and purple paint to adorn my walls. I loved them and it made me so happy.  And when we sold the house my parents apologized and laughed it off to the buyers. I couldn't understand why not everyone would embrace turquoise and purple walls. 

Hello?!? It's turqiouse and purple!! What's not to love?

It's not like it's ....*shudder* beige.

Okay, I'll stop being dramatic.

To appease my need for color I'm going to do "splashes" of purple, blue and a little yellow. Like this....

Now here's the fun part.  I'm not actually painting my walls... because, I don't want to paint apartment walls just to paint them back to (even worse than beige) white when we leave.  

So I've got a plan... a fun plan.

Stay tuned for how I make white walls look cool without painting them and how I use "beige" to do it.

And by the way, Hubs, it's not beige.  It's called, "weekend in the country"...

so there!

one of those

Do you ever have "one of those day" where nothing seems to be going right and you wonder, as my good friend Sarah puts it, if you are starring in your very own Truman Show?

Where nothing seems to be going right, in fact, all the little things about your day which usually flow without a thought, suddenly come unglued and fall at your feet begging for your attention? The kind of day where you hope that you open your newspaper or homepage and read that the latest news headline is screaming about how raw cookie dough is actually a major link to fighting cancer. and losing weight. and fighting evil. And the only way to achieve all of those is by eating unheard of amounts of it. All I need is permission, spoon is ready & poised!

And yes, I said raw cookie dough.  It's about time I let you see my weaknesses and flaws.

Friends, its been "one of those days"... and I came on my computer hoping to read about raw cookie dough and instead I am blogging about the hilarity of days gone wrong.  Laundry line fell and dragged all my clean white diapers in the dark, not clean, mud. Boo.  My daughters are extra needy and want to be held. Yay but hard to clean up mud soiled laundry when holding or shall I correctly say "juggling" two little bebes!  Then Hubs comes home, walks past the plant in the hall and announces, "You've got aphids!" Seriously!?! Who has time for aphids?  Dinner has to be on the table at some point in the next 12 hours... perferrably the earlier part of those 12 hours. Diapers need to be changed. Laundry needs to be rewashed and then folded! Oh, and that's if I can get a free washer or dryer... and now I have aphids that need killing.  Ohhhh those aphids won't know the fury I will unleash on them.

But instead of complaining (I consider the above purely story telling... if I were to go on, then I could be accused of complaining) I am choosing to be thankful.

51. I have laundry.  I have multiple loads of multiple outfits for my hubs, bebes and I.  We have closets (too) full of clothes and for that I am very thankful.  I am thankful for clothes that keep us warm and decent. :)
52. My plants.  They breath life into my house and I can't help but smile whenever I water them and tend to them.  They truly do brighten up my home and I love having plants indoors.
53. A random cooking magazine arrived at my door with easy to make meals and yummy looking dishes.  Perhaps we might try one tonight.  Apparently Hubs was chosen as a "target audience" to test out this new magazine.  Don't mind if we do!
54. For $20 I received a coffee mug which enables me to "free" coffee the month of January.  Granted it was $20 but I'm pretty sure I'll be exceeding that above and beyond.
55. Good books from good friends about imaginary faraway places that I can get "caught up in". I love reading!

Do you ever have "one of those day" and what do you do when you have them?

one word (a copycat)

 I read this blog written beautifully by my friend A and I can not get her thoughts and the "challenge" out of my head. I have been inspired and challenged to focus on one word for the year!

So I chose "content" or "contentment"... it's my hope and prayer that I will exit 2012 more content than I entered it. :)  My life is so blessed and I am feeling so thankful to God for the last six months.  They were hard months, the hardest I have had in my life, but they were not without reason.  In the midst of these months I realized that I would often "escape" by dreaming of a different circumstance.

A great verse on my bedroom mirror to remind me of my theme for the year!

I love to daydream and plan for the future.  This is a gift and a blessing, a quality I love about myself but it can also be a huge endurance when I am unable (or unwilling) to live in the here and now.

I daydream, for example, of having a house with a yard that my girls can play in.  Now this is not a bad daydream or even an ungodly desire but what is bad is when I become angry with or complain to Hubs about our little home. Sure, it feels tight and even more so with two little ones. Sure, we can hardly imagine having crawlers or walkers in the rooms. And sure, we have literally no idea where we will put our second crib when the day comes....

but those are not good reasons to become discontented.  I have a house. A beautiful house within a wonderful complex.  We came home from the holidays to four brand new windows and new faucets that our maintanence guy put in for us. :)  What a guy! And how great that he did it while we were gone so we didn't have to make arrangements for the girls to go elsewhere to nap.  Way to go Patio Gardens!

Anyway, my theme for the year is "contentment" and I am excited to read through the scriptures with my word in the back of my mind.  I'm excited for where God is going to lead and what He is going to do.  I feel like 2012 is going to be a year of changes!! (not that 2011 wasn't?!?! ha ha)

and on my bathroom mirror

What is your one word?

ing & pictures

 Thanking God for this past year and for strengthening me to walk the path that was laid before me.  I pray that I may be found faithful when all is said and done. 

Cooking Chinese hot pot tonight for the second time in Denver. Hubs told me, "It makes my heart smile..." to see my brothers embrace a dish that he himself loves so much.  We also got my brother hooked on kimchee. Yum! Yum!

 Deciding whether or not I want to do "official" New Years Resolutions?

Feeling my heart is full and overflowing after this Christmas season with la familia.

Listening to the chaos that is my niece and nephew in the next room (W is "speaking" Spanish) and 

thinking that the girls will be so lonely when it's just the 3 (4) of us back at home again.  They've been surrounded by children and not just children but lovelies who want to include them in all the games, hold them constantly and share toys with them. 

Daydreaming about changing around my house a bit and planning on decluttering when I get home.  I just have to decide if I want to save the boxes (emphases on the pural) for a garage sale or just drop them off at a thrift store. Hmmm??? But I am very excited to make some changes and prepare our home for little crawlers.  They're not quite there ...yet. But before I know it they'll be moving like crazy!!

And now for your viewing pleasure... our "Schwang Olympics" team pictures... I just luh-ve these! Some of us got the memo to have "warrior faces" and some of us did not!!

 Team Yellow was pretty fierce if I do say so myself!!!

 Team Red was a tough competitor! Leni Daye's face makes me laugh! What a sweetie!

 Team Green (minus a team member) was a force to be reckoning with!

 

 Team Blue ... well, they were pretty darn cute!

Team Black was ferocious and definitely gave us a run for our money!!

I love my family. We're pretty crazy!

and every mother's child....

is gonna spy... to see if reindeer really know how to fly!!

 Guess who we saw for the first time today? (It was not Miss W's first time, though!!)

 The babies were so well behaved and such sweet little darling sitting there with Mr. Claus.  I was so proud of them. (Belle on the left, Li Li on the right)

Poor C missed his nap and was not pleased that his Daddy abandoned him at the moment to a stranger. W asked for "silver shoes" C didn't really specify what he wanted and the girls (via W) asked for baby toys!!

Thanks Santa!! We hope you remember us on Christmas Eve!!

5 Months

Can't believe it's been five months. I say that every month, don't I? Well, it's true.

Today on my brother's birthday the girls turned 5 months.

This month they have been busy...

I now officially have thumb suckers, one belly sleeper (MB) and two very active movers and rollers!!

The girls are loving their rice cereal and oatmeal!!

My little babesters are getting cuter and cuter with every day and they are SO stinkin' funny.  They're starting to babble and really start talking!!

We are really loving them. What sweet babies!

Tomorrow they meet two out of three of their Uncles, Aunts and 2/3's of their cousins.

We fly to Denver tomorrow. Let the Christmas celebrating begin!

Yahoo!!

The 3 C's

I alluded to "the 3 c's" in this post here and wanted to dig deeper into the three different (very general) sins that seem to plague most women.  I won't assume that all women struggle with all three of these but in most cases I think you can find a little bit of each of these in a conversation that isn't being guarded.

Take a minute to sit at Starbucks and listen to some women talking... or perhaps you don't even have to eavesdrop on someone else's conversation.  I know for me, I don't have to look any further than at myself to find "the 3 c's" being casually tossed about like they were a penny a piece and no harm to anyone.  My tongue gets me into so much trouble and before I know it I've complained, compared and competed myself with another person and most often times that person wasn't even present to "rise to the challenge".  In thinking and praying over these little c's... I've come to realize several things about them.

First, they are very intricately connected.  It's hard to have one and not the other.  When I complain about my hair and how awful it is and how I hate the cut and how it makes me look I realized that I am complaining because my hair doesn't look like "so and so's" hair which is always immaculate and never a strand out of place. And to go a step further, the reason I want my hair to look like "so and so's" is so that I could possibly "out-beautify" her and thereby enters in competition.  It's easy to see how one leads to another before I've even recognized that I have done one.

Second, "the 3 c's" are a "slippery slope".  What I mean by that is observe how easy it is for us as women to get caught up in each of these and often times we don't even know it's happened.  Have you ever walked away from a conversation feeling a bit uneasy?  I know I have.  I have walked away from well-meaning times with my own sisters in Christ and felt a bit... "um, Lord, was that honoring?" brewing in my stomach.  I don't even know it's happening as I sit and catch up with some of my girlfriends but later as I am reflecting on my time spent I realize I could have held my tongue more. 

Third, at the root of all three of these is a voice saying, "God, what you have given me, whether it be beauty, money, talents, etc. is not enough." Think about it.  When you complain, you are saying, "I don't like this circumstance."  When you compare, it's "why didn't you make me this way" and when you compete you say to God, "this person is better than me".... it's an insatiable monster that will not only eat you up but convince you to "eat up" those who are around you.  As I write this I wanna ask, "Why do I give others the permission to tell me how much I am worth?" and it's true.  We give others the permission to tell us if we are beautiful, successful or worth very much. 

Last, you are not the master of these three though you think you are... they are and will always be the master of you until you take them to Jesus.  For instance, I don't like the verse in James that says that "no man" can tame their tongue because I like to think I can tame my tongue.  I like to think I can stop gossiping, putting down other women and degrading my own self.  I like to think that I can but in reality, I can't.  We are no longer slaves to sin, the bible tells us, and yet, we allow ourselves to be slaves when we give in to these petty three c's.  There is no life in speaking and believing these three c's.  Whether we believe and speak them about others or ourselves.  No life.  There can only be death.  Death of friendships, death of us finding our true identity and death to a fruitful spiritual life.

I can easily relate to James' words about how "with (the tongue) we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God".  Whenever I read that I cry out, "Really God?!? Is there no hope for someone like me?" and of course there is hope.

Our hope comes from the Bible which teaches us that God shows His love for us that while we were still sinners Christ, God's son, died for us.  (Romans 5:8)  There is nothing we can do, now or ever, to earn this gift which God freely gives us.  Yet, while we are in this life we should not waste this gift of grace but use it to continue on towards righteousness and holiness.  So for example, even though I have trouble with these "3 c's" I should not shrug my shoulders and say, "Well, there's grace to cover that" and continue on my merry way. No, I should strive to live a godly life and strive to rid my habits of such sinful tendencies.  I love Philippians 1:6 which says, "And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion..." and Proverbs 24:16, "for the righteous falls seven times and rises again...".  It's nice to know that even the righteous fall but the key is to get up and "rise above" that which would bring us down.

Hope.

the heart of it

This picture represents simplicity to me.  The simple life. I long for a simple life but not only that but thankfulness in a simple life.  I wish I was more simplistic in my desires and values.  But I do desire recognition and acclamation.  Lord, help me to desire the things you do.
Do you  know how easy it is for me to complain?

Ugh. Why is it so easy to complain?

Is there anyone here with me?  Sitting like Jonah under a tree that is wilted, pouting?!?

Anyone? Anyone?

I was thinking about my heart and how easy it is to think of all that isn't where I want it to be and mourn the loss of things that I used to count so dear to me.  Like time! And independence! And a waistline.

ha ha

No seriously.

But then I stopped because I am realizing that my girls are starting to watch me.  I mean, really focus in on me and watch me.  Oh, I love how they turn to me after nursing, milk dripping down their chubby little chins, and they smile up at me.  Melts my rotten complainy heart right down to little complainy pieces.

I realized that my attitude and outlook on life will be passed on to my girls.  Either they will "itch" to get out of my presence because complainers are no fun to be around or worse, they'll become complainers themselves.

And can I just tell y'all something?!

Complaining is one of the ugliest things.  Seriously, it can strip a woman of all her beauty. I know this, I warn other women about it and yet, it is one of my faults.

I learned about the three c's in college that plague women:

comparison

competition

complaining

and I can't help but think of those lessons learned even now.

Sooo... whats a girl to do about her complaining heart?

Well, I decided to continue counting my blessings and putting them on my blog so that I would be somewhat accountable to whoever is reading this.

Along time ago I read a book that challenged me and encouraged me to live fully right where I am in life.  The challenge is to try and find 1000 things you are thankful for in your every day life.  I loved this book and loved the challenge but I will confess I am super bad at this.  Not bad at being thankful in a "I'm-trying-to-be-modest-and-make-you-feel-good" kind of bad.  I am sincerely bad at being thankful.  I have to think and think and think about what I am thankful for in my every day life. It's humbling to say the least because sometimes Hubs will ask me and I will stammer out some sort of response while he is naturally more observant of all that we are blessed with. So I started my adventure down this path but never developed the habit and so I soon forgot to keep up with it.

Well, starting today I am going to continue on with counting my thousand gifts... and don't worry. I'm only on #46, so you didn't miss much.  And while I'm thinking about lessons learned I think I'll finish december off with some of my thoughts about the 3 c's and encourage you ladies to not fall into a rut as I have often done.  We need to proactively fight off the things that diminish our beauty and threaten our joy. 

If you want more info about the book (a definite must-read and a good gift for someone in your life this holiday season) click here.

So without further ado, I give you some of my blessings...

46. the tree trimmers who come and make our apartment complex look beautiful and let more sunlight in onto our patio and into our house to keep it warm.

47. babies who sleep at night, allowing me and hubs some much needed rest

48.  snail mail which warms my heart from friends and family who I am far from

49. the kind lady at the grocery store who helped me juggle a double stroller, two crying babies, half of my grocery list (oh well, i guess i'll have to get the other half later), my credit card and shopping bag.  Super thankful for her kindness and patience with me. (my first time out alone and my excursion lasted about 2 minutes before baby 1 melted down) :P

50. beautiful flowers from a wonderful man I like to call Hubs. *sigh*

the best medicine

I have officially become that woman... You know, that crazy woman you see muttering to herself dragging a shopping cart down the sidewalk. Ai yai yai! Let me explain...
First, I haven't showered in 2-3 days. I can't really remember when I showered last time but that's ok, I don't even know for sure what day it is.  It isn't entirely my fault that I haven't showered because our piping is busted again and so we had Quinn the maintenance man come over to fix our leaking pipes.  Did I mention the shower was leaking into our pantry? Yeah, not the best situation and he could have fixed it late last night but alas, sleeping babies wins over fixing (cutting) pipes and mommy taking a shower.
So he agreed to come today and while he was here I decided to go grocery shopping. While out I was thoroughly enjoying myself.  I even purchased a peppermint mocha because I was "out" and the girls were (hopefully) sleeping peacefully at home with Hubs.  The sun was shining and I was feeling pretty good... the best I've felt in a long time.  It's been too long since I've felt ambitious or even like myself but today was a small glimpse of me feeling more like me.
I was walking up and down aisles, filling my shopping cart, drinking my latte and daydreaming about all the delicious dishes I was going to make.  I love feeling like myself. I have high hopes that I'll be in the kitchen more now that I'm starting to feel better.  There I was, checking out, when I realized I had filled four pretty big bags and had a ten pound of potatoes on top of that (i know, what am i going to do with ten pounds of potatoes? i have no idea but like I said, ambitious and it was cheaper to buy in bulk... yeesh!) so I wondered how I was going to get all that stuff home since I didn't have the car.
Hmmmm... thought I, "I'll just walk the cart two blocks to my house and then return the cart." So I was strolling down the sidewalk and out of the parking lot when all of a sudden I felt it stop.  I looked down and the wheels had turned sideways....
...and my heart filled with dread.  I was on the phone with my girl Jen when I realized. Ohmygosh, the wheels.... they won't go past a certain point.  No problem, thought I, I'll just return the cart to the store and take the bags home.
Ohhhh Joanna. If only.
Because as I tried to turn the cart around I realized the wheels had actually LOCKED and couldn't be unlocked. So I wrestled the cart back up on the sidewalk and lovingly told Jen, "Gotta go! My wheels! I gotta call Hubs" then proceeded to call Hubs. Not once but three times while the lovely people eating in Panda Express watched me dragging the cart up onto the sidewalk, clutching the phone in between my ear and my shoulder and muttering to myself about stupid college students who steal shopping carts in our area.
I explained to Hubs my predicament and he...laughed at me.  What were we to do? I was literally a block from my home but he was with the girls.  Would Quinn the maintenance man watch our girls who were sleeping and didn't need anything while Hubs ran over to rescue me from the judging eyes at Panda Express? And yes for all you worried mamas, we know our maintenance man and trust him and again literally a block away I was waiting... so Hubs runs over with the little "go cart" thing that Quinn loaned him to rescue me.
And rescue me he did.
"Oh wait, Hubs" said I at this point, "I forgot dried mustard at the store". So I ran back to the store, told someone what I had done with their cart (see I am a nice person. I was gonna return it, I promise) and proceeded to get my mustard and get in line.  I got up to check-out, forgot I had put my wallet in the bags which were now at home with Hubs, put the mustard down and just walked out the store.

I really shouldn't be allowed outside by myself yet.

oh for grace

 'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to take Him at His Word;
Just to rest upon His promise,
And to know, “Thus saith the Lord!” 

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er;
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
Oh, for grace to trust Him more!

Oh, how sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to trust His cleansing blood;
And in simple faith to plunge me
’Neath the healing, cleansing flood!
 

Yes, ’tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just from sin and self to cease;
Just from Jesus simply taking
Life and rest, and joy and peace.
 

I’m so glad I learned to trust Thee,
Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend;
And I know that Thou art with me,
Wilt be with me to the end.

4 Months Old

I can't resist these pants, even though they are a tad bit too big for the girls.  They are just so cute with ruffles on their bottoms.  They're very Dr. Seuss-esque and Dr. Seuss is very fashion forward in our home these days. :)

(Belly B & Li Li)
 Happy 4 months to my beautiful daughters.

(Li Li)

To celebrate we tried some rice cereal... it was overall a small step forward.  The girls have had a wonderful month.  We're still learning about their habits and preferences.  They're getting so close to rolling over and have gone back to breastfeeding.  After 2 1/2 months of pumping milk and then bottle feeding I decided I had had enough of pumping and pumping and pumping.  It was all I ever did.  No bueno! The best way to describe it was how my sister put it when she said I was basically bottle feeding and breastfeeding.

So we gave breastfeeding one more try since the girls are older and could (Lord willing) latch on better.  And they did! Praise God! Feeding the girls this way saves me oodles of time and so long to the pump.  I will only be using you for girls nights out.

Lots of small steps this month but Lord willing they all add up...